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AIBU?

to wonder how to deal with ds2

13 replies

devoniandarling · 23/04/2014 19:53

Long story short:

6 yo ds2 is a handful. To put it mildly. This evening he has sprayed de-icer into his 7yo brothers eyes. Resulting in a trip to minor injuries to have his eyes washed.

Before that he created a scene at an after school activity because he "was hungry" (this after he'd eaten four biscuits and a packet of crisps).

Before that he refused to get in the car at school because dd1 was sitting where he wanted to sit.

This morning he didn't want to go to school because he couldn't find his pe shirt. And he spilt cocopops all over the kitchen table because he couldn't wait five minutes while I got out of the shower to help him get his breakfast.

He is a full time job all on his own!

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KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn · 23/04/2014 19:58

I am presuming discipline is already in order?

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Coffeeinthepark · 23/04/2014 20:03

Was it the school club that gave him 4 biscuits and a packet of crisps?

My 6 year old can be annoying at times but it is always when tired. Is he getting enough sleep? Mine is much better after a 12 hour night

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MrsDavidBowie · 23/04/2014 20:03

Maybe cut back on the sugar and crap.

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ICanSeeTheSun · 23/04/2014 20:09

Reminder, warning, follow through with warning.

He spilled the nice cereal, then tough toast and milk.

Refused to get in car. Remind him to get in the car if he don't warn him that he will have no tv tonight ( or what ever will work best)if he doesn't. Then if he still don't listen loss of tv time

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Joylin · 23/04/2014 20:13

Dump all the sugary crap and processed foods you're feeding him and provide him with a healthy diet. Set boundaries, tell him what's expected and discipline him when he misbehaves. Make sure he gets plenty of exercise, at least a couple of hours a day running around the park or outside your house.
Have a set bed time and make sure he's getting enough sleep.

You'll have a different child in two weeks. An upgraded one.

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devoniandarling · 23/04/2014 20:13

when i say four biscuits and a packet of crisps we are talking four small, homemade oaty biscuits and a small packet of mini cheddars. Oh, and a satsuma.

He had a school lunch.

His diet is not the problem. He has to have something between school and his dance class, and he then came home to a chicken salad for dinner. (Consisting of cucumber, tomato, chicken breast, lettuce, carrot sticks, peppers, couscous and new potatoes)

Discipline is in order yes, removal of privileges, screen time, naughty step.

Bedtime is an issue with him but once settled he does sleep. Most nights a decent 10-12 hours.

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Purplepoodle · 23/04/2014 20:25

How is he at school?

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devoniandarling · 23/04/2014 20:37

I have recently had a meeting with his teacher (at my request).

They feel he is not a problem at school, he can be a little excitable and boisterouis but in the main is friendly, helpful and susceptible to the teachers requests.

HOWEVER: When we went for the meeting it was decided he should be present and my mother came to watch the other children whilst we had the meeting. Ds2s reaction to not going with nanna was to have a complete meltdown (the likes of which we have at home at least three times a week). The teacher was shocked as she had never seen him behave this way. She spoke to him about how he thinks that behaviour makes mummy and daddy feel and what made him behave that way and he became very tearful. He is very clingy to me, and always has been. The teacher concluded that he definitely had an anxiety issue to do with me but we couldn't get to the bottom of it. She has suggested that if it continues (his behaviour has been getting progressively harder to handle since Christmas) then she could ask for someone like a psycologist to speak to him.

He doesn't mean to be naughty. He just cant help himself.

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coffeetofunction · 23/04/2014 21:05

Has anything changed? Have you been going through a hard time? Could he be picking up on how difficult your finding him? (Not saying your a problem btw) just when I'm struggling with DS he plays to it. Also when things haven't been 'at there best' with either me or DS dad, DS behavior seems to become worse than normal. I hope you can get to bottom of it. Good luck & take care

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devoniandarling · 23/04/2014 21:22

Not that I am aware of coffee. He has always been a handful. Going back to his birth I had PND and struggled to bond with him as a baby. As a result I feel guilty. He was a suprise pregnancy and I was quite poorly after his birth.

Periodically we have 'hard' times with him. He appears to have a real fear of mummy not being there, although I have no idea why because I have always been here and he has no reason to think I wont be. The ONLY time I wasn't there for him was for three days when I was admitted to hospital with Kidney stones and he was brought in to see me and knew that I was ok.

He is loved, we don't have any real problems in the home. He has loving parents who love each other as well as him. He is encouraged to follow his interests. He has a big garden at his disposal with bikes, trampolines, swings etc. He has a bedroom full of toys. He has a healthy diet and plenty of excersice.

Before he started pre-school he was under the health visiting team because he just had so much energy and no apparent fear or recognition of danger. His teacher now (in year 1) often tells us she has "tried to wear him out for us"- its impossible!!!! He has three siblings who I have never had these problems with and they are all fed the same, treated the same, disciplined the same.

It isn't that he doesn't understand, but there is no reasoning with him when he thinks he is right or when he chooses not to listen. We have had, in the past when he was two or three, literally HOURS of trying to get him to sit on the naughty spot for 2 minutes. He just wouldn't do it. He does now, but he will argue till he is blue in the face if he thinks he is correct and getting him to say sorry is impossible.

I am at my wits end as he is not an only child and I cannot concentrate on making sure he isn't up to mischief all the time. He is intelligent and knows that I have to look after all the children and yet he demands so much of my attention.

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coffeetofunction · 23/04/2014 21:37

You shouldn't feel guilty, PND isn't a choice!!

You sound like your doing everything a good mum dose. Could you try tackling the "he's always right" in a different way? My son is the same, I've found I have to let him finish completely what he needs to say/shout/inform you of then repeat it back as if clarifying, then twisting it back to get your point across...dose that make sense? It's frustrating as hell takes much longer than with DD but I've found it results in less scream/shouting/tears ect....

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coffeetofunction · 23/04/2014 21:38

Also best price of advice I was ever given l- pick your fights!...
Some times is just not worth it

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devoniandarling · 24/04/2014 10:34

Thank you for your advice coffee

I think I may have to go back to the school and speak with his teacher.