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To want autonomy over my body.

(1000 Posts)
thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 16:12:50

Aibu here. I am 50 but apparently still fertile.

I have 4 children already and do not want any more.

According to some posters if I fell pregnant but hadn't used at least 2 methods of contraception I should be denied the abortion I would most definatly want.

I would have to go before a panel of judges in a court to plead my case. They would judge whether I should have an abortion or not.

Of course if there was a back log of cases then I would have to wait and if it reached 24 weeks it would be too late anyway.

I would be forced to give birth.

Aibu to be absolutely stunned at this posters view in Britain 2014?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 23-Apr-14 16:47:34

Silly women, don't you know you can't be trusted to make decisions like that?

WooWooOwl Wed 23-Apr-14 16:50:15

Yes, and you have autonomy over your body whether pregnant or not.

gordyslovesheep Wed 23-Apr-14 16:50:34

well you know I think YANBU

TillyTellTale Wed 23-Apr-14 16:52:56

Someone (not on here) once said it would be a 15 year old virgin rape victim's fault for not being on hormonal contraception just in case she was raped. Just a few years ago. hmm

The post you describe doesn't surprise me but YANBU!!!!!

BeyondTired Wed 23-Apr-14 16:53:25

Just adding another "for any reason the woman wants, to term" from me

And yy to expat and the right to choose to die yourself.

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 16:53:30

hop yes you are right.

Back to the 1950s for me.

What a silly little ninny am I?

Next I will want my own bank account.

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 16:55:49

Y y to expat too. Totally agree.

woowoo actually I don't and neither do you.

Tilly beyond shocking.

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 16:57:56

gordy couldn't let it lie.

beyondtired agree but apparently that makes us despicable. Ah well.

WooWooOwl Wed 23-Apr-14 17:08:30

Yes, I do. Because I can have an abortion if I want it right up until the time that a baby could survive without being attached to me. And I can choose to use contraception, and I can choose not to run the risk of pregnancy as long as a violent crime isn't committed against me.

That's more than enough autonomy for me. I get far more control over my body's pregnancy than I do over my body's illnesses, and and I know which is worse, and which I'd choose if I had to.

Seeing as I don't get to choose never to get cancer, or heart disease or any other nasty thing that could happen, then I'm prepared to accept that I may have to bear a child I don't particularly want if I choose to have sex.

WilsonFrickett Wed 23-Apr-14 17:11:24

There are a couple of extremely vehement anti-abortion posters on MN, in fact I'd go as far as to call them forced birthers. Tbh I usually leave a thread when they pop up because it is guaranteed to go on for 1000 posts, shock me to my very core, make me scream and bang my head against the wall, then it all kicks off.

So no doubt I'll end up hiding this thread too grin but good on ya OP anyway.

There is no such thing as a little bit of autonomy. You either have it or you don't. My body, my choice.

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 17:16:19

Pregnancy isn't an illness it's a condition.

You either have full control over your body or you don't as a pregnant person.

If limits are applied you don't have autonomy.

CumberCookie Wed 23-Apr-14 17:17:35

I'm shocked by this viewpoint.

Apart from everything else do people who don't believe in abortion not realise that women who are pregnant and don't want to be will find a way of terminating the pregnancy at any cost. Thousands of lives will be lost to backstreet abortionists. It doesn't bare thinking about.

whitepuddingsupper Wed 23-Apr-14 17:19:42

Going by the posts on the other thread I don't think you have any chance of convincing the rabidly pro life small minority of your reasonableness but the majority will agree with you, I don't think this thread will go any differently to the one that reached it's limit.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope Wed 23-Apr-14 17:26:15

Good grief.


How did I miss that one?!?

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 17:27:37

I agree ^^ I suppose it still shocks me that people hold these views.

Of course they are full entitled to but not entitled to control another woman's choices.

cumber it's sticking fingers In ears and humming response. They don't want to hear it. Too real life. Too raw.

friedgreentomatoes88 Wed 23-Apr-14 17:29:33

It all depends whether you believe the unborn baby / foetus / whatever term you're happy with, has a life equal in value to yours. Clearly you don't believe it does, but some people will believe that, so feel that YANBU to want autonomy over your body, YABU to want it at the expense of someone else's life.

I don't see the point in posting this - some will agree with you wholeheartedly, some will vehemently disagree, others will be somewhere in the middle.

5madthings Wed 23-Apr-14 17:31:11

Yanbu, my uterus, my body, my choice.

GrassIsSinging Wed 23-Apr-14 17:33:47

The law (thank fuck) is on your side. YANBU.

MoominsAreScary Wed 23-Apr-14 17:36:43

Thankfully the law is on our side, if it was up to that poster I would most likely be dead now

MelonadeAgain Wed 23-Apr-14 17:37:33

YANBU its ridiculous and unworkable. Using two types of contraception is unproveable and the courts are already full to the brim. Plus the potential of claiming damages under the Human Rights Act or even UK law.

I remember having a discussion with a very esteemed, rather anti-woman barrister, who gave all these very reasonable sounding responses as to why a possible father should be able to prevent the mother of his (alleged) child from having an abortion.

And then I said "But what if there is a malicious impregnation?" And he was stumped.

None of this works any other way than by giving someone living full autonomy over their whole body. I do believe very much that you have to be a conscious, sentient being which has been born to have rights. Because with rights, come corresponding obligations. It is one of the most fundamental principles upon which all modern legal systems are based.

thebodydoestricks Wed 23-Apr-14 17:43:37

Fried not much point in posting any debate then.

If some educated people, shockingly women, hold these views then we need to be aware.

The forced birth lobby are strong in the USA. We need to ensure they don't filtrate here.

Know your enemy.

Finnbheara Wed 23-Apr-14 17:52:21

Erm, I'm a fence sitter.

I have been on mumsnet long enough that this is a polar subject, I can't understand why those at the opposite ends of the belief really seem to think that they can change any one else's point of view. I have read enough of these threads and I am still a fence sitter. I read them with an open mouth that there are such extreme views - on both sides

MaidOfStars Wed 23-Apr-14 17:56:09

It all depends whether you believe the unborn baby / foetus / whatever term you're happy with, has a life equal in value to yours. Clearly you don't believe it does, but some people will believe that, so feel that YANBU to want autonomy over your body, YABU to want it at the expense of someone else's life

I agree with this statement. While it's not my position re: abortion, I have tried to imagine how I might feel if I was forced to stand back and accept something I consider to be a sickening and grave injustice, if I saw what I perceived as human beings legally murdered in a civilised society.

I don't like the political labels/stereotypes much, but it must be very hard for the "prolifers" (the ones who actually cry for the babies they think are being murdered and would happily give money/time/shelter/a new home to any child) to see what goes on. It's a fervent, ingrained and, I think we forget, often genuinely-held emotional response to what they think is murder.

How would any of us "pro-choicers" respond to an analogous situation?

Joylin Wed 23-Apr-14 17:58:26

There are extremists on both sides of the abortion issue; one side thinks fertilised eggs are equal to a fully formed human being and the other which sees fully formed, viable babies as no more than clumps of cells who should have no rights until they are born.

Anybody who wants an abortion should have that option available up to 12/14 weeks or so regardless of the reason, after that it should be restricted to cases where there are genuine medical reasons. The idea of aborting a healthy, 24 week old + baby who is capable of independent life for no reason other than you don't feel like it, is just sickening. There comes a point during pregnancy where abortion becomes killing a living being.

TheBabyFacedAssassin Wed 23-Apr-14 17:58:45


Thanks for starting this body, I had visitors land round and missed the end of the last one.

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