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To this this does not make this man sick or weird?

(85 Posts)
Anonynony Tue 22-Apr-14 19:58:53

An ex colleague was telling me today that one of my other ex colleagues (her current colleague) was telling the team that his sister was in labour. They're very close I know this from my years working with him, they're like best friends and he lives with her and her partner. Anyway apparently this male colleague (who was receiving texts from either herself or her partner) said she was x amount of centimeters dialated (sp?) and now the whole team are saying he's sick for talking about his sister that way and have written him off as a complete weirdo. My blood was boiling listening to this, this same female colleague also tried to insinuate something sinister when an older gay man in work was really interested in hearing about my pregnancy and new baby (just a really nice guy and still a very good friend)

Is it really that horrific for a brother to mention how many centimeters?? It's not as if he checked himself, I can't see the big deal but I'm really pissed off at female gossipy ex colleague. AIBU??

BuzzardBird Tue 22-Apr-14 20:01:12

I would bin em off. They obviously don't have anything more interesting to tell you. In my case I would have spoken up and said they were being pathetic.

rinabean Tue 22-Apr-14 20:01:36

Well yeah it is because while they're siblings and it's his niece or nephew being born which makes it slightly better you don't know her and there's really no reason for you to hear about what's happening inside her vagina. I would not want to hear this about my colleague's sister and I would think him strange for sharing it. I also would not want my sibling's colleagues to know.

Anonynony Tue 22-Apr-14 20:03:16

I did buzzard, this time and the last time. Honestly want to break contact now completely.

brokenhearted55a Tue 22-Apr-14 20:04:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a Tue 22-Apr-14 20:05:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCakesPremonition Tue 22-Apr-14 20:06:34

The number of cm dilated is relevant and useful information in relation to labour.

Since when has "5cm" been too icky for grown up people to handle?

Unpleasant and idiotic.

anyoldnamewilldo Tue 22-Apr-14 20:07:08

Really, you'd find that strange rinabean? I fail to see what's so bad about it. Surely when you talk about how many centimetres dilated someone is, it just gives you an idea on how far along she is.


Thurlow Tue 22-Apr-14 20:07:40

It is a bit TMI, especially to work colleagues, but it certainly doesn't make him sick or weird in anyway. He was clearly excited, and someone - his sister, his BIL, his mum, whoever - had told him how many cm dilated she was. Some people don't want anything to do with anyone during their labour, other people are happy to share. Neither are wrong. And it wasn't 'wrong' of that man to know the info. Just a bit lacking in social graces to share it with other people.

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Tue 22-Apr-14 20:10:41

I would guess he is just excited about it and wanted others to share in his excitement.

Anonynony Tue 22-Apr-14 20:11:42

Wow I'm really surprised some of you really think it's sobad, is it not just the same as saying Oh she's going in for a section now or she's getting induced at 3pm? Is it just because it's happening in her vagina?
When my dad had a stroke the same people would ask for updates and I see no difference?
It's not like he's telling randomers, they're all baby mad and have worked together mostly for 10+ years!

Topaz25 Tue 22-Apr-14 20:12:27

I doubt he was thinking about it being a measurement of his sister's vagina, more about it being a measurement of how the birth was progressing. I might think the updates were unnecessarily detailed but wouldn't think he was sick or weird. I'm quite sad thinking of how his enthusiasm must have been crushed at an exciting time for him. I'd remind your ex colleague she could get in trouble if she spreads gossip about current colleagues or calls them names at work as it's creating a hostile environment. She needs to grow up!

motherofmonster Tue 22-Apr-14 20:14:11

i dont think its odd.
If someone told me their sister or someone was in labour i might ask how long they had been in hospital? or how is she getting along? do they think baby will come today? (perhaps i'm just a nosy old witch). And would find someone telling me "oh, it will be a while she is only 5cm's" quite normal

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Tue 22-Apr-14 20:15:39

Good Lord, some people are just looking for an excuse to take offence. There's nothing weird or unsavoury about making statement about being dilated. I've never had kids but even I know it's just an indication of how far along she is. This is a long-anticipated event concerning someone he's very close to. Where's the harm in that? Some people need to find something worthy of their attention. This isn't one of them

Liara Tue 22-Apr-14 20:16:30

That's really weird. I was once at a meeting with a couple of colleagues and both their wives were in labour. I remember they were openly commenting on how many cm and what that meant about how long it would be as a function of how many previous dc.

Other than me, no one thought it was weird. I only thought it was weird because I thought they should be with their dws, not receiving messages by text, but it was in the US and they are a bit odd about leaving the office, so I put it down to that.

phantomnamechanger Tue 22-Apr-14 20:17:05

He's not even thinking of it in "real", what it actualy means terms, just as an indicator of how iminent the birth is. nothing weird at all, lovely that he is excited about it. Are they also shocked that he now knows his sister must have been <whispers> having sex <faints>

FunnyFoot Tue 22-Apr-14 20:17:36


It's not like he was going in to detail of how much her cervix was dilated and using hand gestures to emphasise his point.

He was clearly excited and knows that with each cm the birth is getting closer. That all he was saying, X cm dilated.

Jesus since when has childbirth been a taboo subject hmm

OP it sounds like he was just caught up in the moment and I think you happen to work with a bunch of PO's.

YANBU your work colleagues are.

brokenhearted55a Tue 22-Apr-14 20:18:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Billygoats Tue 22-Apr-14 20:19:43

I don't think it's odd. As others have said its just part of discussing labour. There's nothing disturbing about it.

Hes probably going to be a great uncle seeing how close he is to his sister.

Bluestocking Tue 22-Apr-14 20:20:14

It's not sick or weird, but it's really inappropriate in a work setting! Come to think of it, I have no idea how any of my sisters' births (two sisters, four births) went in any detail. Most people just aren't that interested in the details. It's understandable that your ex-colleague was excited but really, he should keep the gory gynae details to himself.

FunnyFoot Tue 22-Apr-14 20:21:03

What is gory about saying X cm dilated?

Crinkle77 Tue 22-Apr-14 20:21:20

It's quite sweet cos most men would not be interested but it's probably a bit too much info for work colleagues.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Tue 22-Apr-14 20:22:29

My boss was recently telling everyone in the office how dilated her step daughter was and how long between contractions, complete with re-enactments of how she had been breathing through them.

I didn't think it was weird, although I did just smile and nod. She just seemed excited.

SaucyJack Tue 22-Apr-14 20:26:34

It's one of those things that's fine in theory......... but in practice is a bit icky.

I cannot imagine appreciating either hearing a work colleague talking about their sister's vagina, or my brother telling his colleagues about my fandago.

CoffeeTea103 Tue 22-Apr-14 20:26:40

It's a very inappropriate thing to mention in the work place. Not everyone wants to know about it.

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