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Breadtfeeding toddler with CP

(32 Posts)
dingalong Tue 22-Apr-14 09:45:13

Dh was adamant that I wean ds 2.5 I went away with a friend for a lovely weekend and dh looked after dd and ds. (Back story is ds has been waking at night for feeding and dh had to sleep in another room).

He was adamant about weaning and while I was a bit sad agreed to it

However I've come back to ds with chicken pox. All he wants is to breastfeed. Dh has gone to work saying 'don't feed him' but he looks so sad (covered in spots). Aibu to feed him ?

MyNameIsAnAnagram Tue 22-Apr-14 09:47:17

Feed him. A poorly baby is not an appropriate time to wean imo.

SixImpossible Tue 22-Apr-14 09:47:31

I would bf him. The night waking can be dealt with separately, once he's well again.

You don't have to cold turkey the lot, anyway. You can night wean him and continue daytime bfing if you want.

27Onesies Tue 22-Apr-14 09:48:14

YANBU whilst he has CP.

However, I agree that if your away and your DH is looking after him and he is waking in the night for you it is time to wean him.

MyNameIsAnAnagram Tue 22-Apr-14 09:48:32

And yes, you can night wean with out weaning completely.

27Onesies Tue 22-Apr-14 09:48:59


dingalong Tue 22-Apr-14 09:59:04

I arrived back last night. I slept in dd's as she woke up (so lovely to cuddle her last night) Ds was asleep when I got back and just woke this morning. Dh will go mad if I admit to feeding him.

He's just tired of having to sleep in the spare room, which I can understand but ds just seems so little and is a stubborn (like dad).

Morloth Tue 22-Apr-14 10:02:05

If your DH will go mad because you breastfed your sick toddler.

then your DH is a dickhead.

dingalong Tue 22-Apr-14 10:11:59

No he's not a dickhead, I'm sorry if I've portrayed him as that. I guess he's been sleeping in a spare room since dc's were born (pretty much), and thinks that I'll always find an excuse to do what I want.

maras2 Tue 22-Apr-14 10:24:41

I've never wanted to breast feed my kids after the age of 1 ......... BUT ........ I'll defend the right of any mother who wants to feed for how ever long they want to. So Mr dingalong , get a breast , get an opinion . I hope that your child gets better soon. Chickenpox is miserable so any comfort can only be good.

fluffyraggies Tue 22-Apr-14 10:31:58

Wrong to initiate weaning (or any new regime) while a child is sick.

However, and i'm sorry if i'm being thick ... but why is the night waking being linked to breast feeding and DHs spare rooming?

You could wean your son onto bottles and he still might wake in the night - and DH would still choose the spare room. I would have thought, in fact, that a quick night breast feed would not cause enough fuss to warrent him having to sleep elsewhere, whereas the faff of having a baby cry while you prepare a bottle might well be confused

LookingThroughTheFog Tue 22-Apr-14 10:42:16

'Sorry, DH, but a the needs of a two year old with chicken pox trump the needs of an adult. We can review next week, but now's not the time.'

SixImpossible Tue 22-Apr-14 10:45:43

There are several issues here:

Firstly, and most importantly, the child is ill. Now is not the time for major changes.

Secondly, people blame night wakings on breastfeeding. No, night wakings are caused by poor sleep associations. If the dc has always been bfed to sleep, then they don't know how to get themselves back to sleep when they wake in the night. He still won't know how to get himself back to sleep if you cold turkey. He will still wake and howl several times a night. You and your dh need to decide how you will deal with it before you night wean him. I highly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution.

Thirdly: I guess he's been sleeping in a spare room since dc's were born (pretty much), and thinks that I'll always find an excuse to do what I want.. That's a a whole new thread in the Relationships section. But deciding on strategy together might begin to address it.

TulipOHare Tue 22-Apr-14 10:54:10

Poor little guy. I'd give him what he needs. Don't know how I'd have got through all the early-childhood illnesses without the panacea of bf.

He'll be ill and miserable for, what, a week or so? It's nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Agree with PP that now is not the time to go cold turkey and that you should revisit the decision once DC is recovered.

I never weaned mine. DS wound down his bf to the point where by the age of 3.5-4 he was on one quick boob a day, before bed. Night feeds tailed off between 2 and 3 if I remember rightly.

gobbin Tue 22-Apr-14 22:44:29

Thirdly: I guess he's been sleeping in a spare room since dc's were born (pretty much), and thinks that I'll always find an excuse to do what I want.. That's a a whole new thread in the Relationships section.

Your poor DH. He very much is bottom of the pile in your house, isn't he. I'm amazed he's put up with it for so long.

Morloth Thu 24-Apr-14 02:00:47

The needs of a baby with chickenpox outweigh the wants of a grown man.

My DH wants me to do whatever is best for the kids.

You can address the room situation when your DS is better - get a bigger bed so there is room for everyone - that is what we did.

They grow out of it, it isn't forever my 10 year old doesn't do it anymore.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 24-Apr-14 05:15:03

DH has just gone to work saying "don't feed him"
DH will go mad if I admit to feeding him

Unacceptable. He does not get to dictate the timing of weaning to you.
feed your poorly child and get over to the sleep threads (although none that I'm on because I'm jinxed grin)
If you're desperate to stop night feeds ( after dc is better) then the back section of NCSS is good IMHO.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 24-Apr-14 05:21:23

Did you bf?

ikeaismylocal Thu 24-Apr-14 05:29:52

Feed him, poor little boy.

Have you cconsidered night weaning rather than stopping altogether? We night weaned ds 2 months ago and he almost immediately started sleeping a solid 11-12 hours a night, previously he'd been waking to feed a few times a night and he wanted to have my nipple in his mouth constantly.

angry at your selfish DH. Has he been sleeping in the spare room so he gets undisturbed nights, i.e. he doesn't actually have to sleep in there?

Feed your son, give him what he needs.

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 24-Apr-14 06:53:27

How do you nightwean? I'm having the same promlem with my 3 year old.

Feed him he is ill & your dh does not own your body & cant dictate to you what to do with it.

ikeaismylocal Thu 24-Apr-14 07:34:02

We nightweened ds at 13 months mostly because I am pregnant and I couldn't cope with 1st trimester exhaustion and night wakings.

We co-sleep and we wanted to continue this. I explained to ds that we wouldn't have any more boobie in the bed. The first night ds was sad and cried on and off for about an hour, we cuddled him sang to him and he settled, the second night he woke just for a cuddle, no crying, then from then on he slept all night, I was amazed that it was so easy. I really wanted to feed him the night he was upset but I didn't.

Nocomet Thu 24-Apr-14 07:45:05

Why the hell does he have to sleep in the spare room?
Doesn't the prize idiot know that night weaned and totally non BFing DCs still have nightmares, they still get ill, they still want a cuddle.

In any case you can bf a toddler lying beside you in bed while your DH sleeps next to you.

The man is a selfish git, of course you should BF a toddler with CP.

5madthings Thu 24-Apr-14 07:47:08

Feed him.

Your dh sleeping in the spare room is a seperate issue to the bfeeding.

Nocomet Thu 24-Apr-14 07:50:46

Sorry, but if he's chosen to opt out of being there for you and your DCs by going in the spare room and therefore opting out of most of the sleepless nights. He gets no say!

Also I'm very mean, I'd be suggesting to DC that they went into the spare room and demanded a daddy hug if they woke at crack of dawn!

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