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not to go to christening

(55 Posts)
Braganza Tue 22-Apr-14 09:17:46

DN (DP's sister's son) is being christened in two weeks' time an hour and a half away. MIL told DP that we will not be getting an official invitation as SIL is too busy, but has given us the time and location, and told us we are expected to attend. The date has been chosen to coincide with a family occasion in SIL's husbands family. DP feels duty bound to go with DS and DD. I admit that I can think of better ways to spend a Saturday, but AIBU to think that if SIL is too busy to invite us, it's not unreasonable not to go? SIL has form for treating family as a right rather than a privilege; I may be prejudiced against her.

Braganza Tue 22-Apr-14 10:30:57

Being squiffy helps enormously at the event - I believe my jokes become vastly more entertaining - but not with driving home.

You're right though - it's expected that one will attend without a fuss, but stress of the build up to the event make it so much harder not to fuss that it's a vicious circle. Much easier not to go and blame SIL for not letting us know.

MrsWombat Tue 22-Apr-14 10:34:08

If your MIL had just said, "I've been asked to invite our side of the family. these are the details." Would that have been ok?

I would have been rather annoyed at being told the hosts were too busy to do the inviting, the way it was worded in the OP, and got the hump as well. But maybe there's been a bit of miscommunication with MIL?

I had a similar situation where DP told me we'd been invited to an evening wedding reception. I said where's the invite? He said there wasn't one. Apparently the bride informally invited him over facebook. Said there was a paper invite but we'd have to pick it up ourselves from her parents house. I did think that was a bit rude, esp as the bride and I work for the same company (different locations) and she could have stuck it in the internal post to me. I told DP he can go by himself, as I only knew the bride vaguely and wouldn't know anyone else. I honestly think we were only invited as an afterthought as some of the wedding party are DP's closest friends who live out of town and they don't get to see each other often (They all shared a hobby years ago) and someone might have said "why weren't the Wombats invited? " blush

Either way, you still need to go, I'm afraid. It's a family christening, and you need to build a few bridges.

fluffyraggies Tue 22-Apr-14 10:35:37

Easier to not go and feign an illness or a slight injury IMO. Keep 'blame' out of it and things wont escalate or fester.

fluffyraggies Tue 22-Apr-14 10:37:23

^ ^ that was in response to OPs:
Much easier not to go and blame SIL for not letting us know., btw.

Braganza Tue 22-Apr-14 10:43:55

Well I'm hardly likely to go round saying 'you didn't invite us so I'm not going'. Despite appearances, I do understand that it's not always best to tell the plain truth.

I think the cat may be developing a temperature. He seems very lethargic, and has hardly moved the bed / food bowl for the last 12 hours. If his condition get's any worse, I'll need to stay and look after him.

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