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to find ditherers annoying

(112 Posts)
drxerox Tue 22-Apr-14 06:57:29

I was queueing in a national trust tea room, moving glacially slowly, as ever. In front of me was a woman who, when she was actually served, faffed around choosing a drink and a cake, as though she hadn't been standing in front of the cakes and the boards listing the drinks for a good 5 minutes.she was totally oblivious to the queue behind her and dithered around comparing the cakes as though she'd never seen them in her life. It seems to happen all the time, and it's always women. Why can't they just make their minds up?

tethersend Tue 22-Apr-14 07:01:13


No, wait... YANBU.

tethersend Tue 22-Apr-14 07:01:43

Sorry, YABU.

BrianButterfield Tue 22-Apr-14 07:01:51

Ditherers are my pet hate! We stayed in a lovely hotel once, half-board, beautiful food but buffet-style - well, the number of times I nearly set about someone with a pair of tongs at breakfast. JUST PUT SOME BACON ON YOUR PLATE AND MOVE ON. What on earth is so difficult about choosing food (which was already paid for, so it's not even as if it mattered if they got something they didn't like).

I gave up on toast altogether after the first day as a hotel toaster is a ditherer's spiritual home.

tethersend Tue 22-Apr-14 07:02:13

No, oops, YANBU.

Final answer.

tethersend Tue 22-Apr-14 07:02:32


Morgause Tue 22-Apr-14 07:02:37


Agree that they are annoying. However, as someone who stood behind a dithering bloke in a NT tea room on Friday, I disagree about it always being women. His wife was practically incandescent with rage by the time he'd chosen a cake.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 22-Apr-14 07:02:54

I was with you till you said "it's always women"

BrianButterfield Tue 22-Apr-14 07:04:37

And when you go out in a big group and spend ages on street corners while everyone chips in with "well, I'm not hungry but I could eat...". The rage! I've taken to saying "I'm off to X if anyone else wants to come. "

Cornettoninja Tue 22-Apr-14 07:05:30


Dp does this everywhere. I've taken to just paying for mine and leaving him. Disassociation at it's finest grin

BrianButterfield Tue 22-Apr-14 07:06:41

And when you go out in a big group and spend ages on street corners while everyone chips in with "well, I'm not hungry but I could eat...". The rage! I've taken to saying "I'm off to X if anyone else wants to come. "

austenozzy Tue 22-Apr-14 07:09:37

Yep, it's the lack of consideration for others. Gets me going all tje time. Bit like middle lane dawdlers on the motorway not realising they're a rolling road block and a dangerous liability.

dexter73 Tue 22-Apr-14 07:11:42

What annoys me is when you are in a queue to pay for your parking ticket and the person in front of you only decides to look for their ticket and get their money ready when they get to the machine angry Get your ticket and money ready while you are queueing you numpty!!

TheOrchardKeeper Tue 22-Apr-14 07:14:04

DP does this with food. It makes me feel unreasonably violent <twitchy eye>

He says he can't pick food or a place to eat in a 'rush' hmm

Fuck that, I'll be in so-and-so's if you'd like to find me once you've dithered just the right amount angry grin

WiseKneeHair Tue 22-Apr-14 07:17:28



drxerox Tue 22-Apr-14 07:20:53

tethersend grin

drxerox Tue 22-Apr-14 07:24:58

OK, I'll drop the bit about it always being women ...

drxerox Tue 22-Apr-14 07:26:30

The worst was that she was asking the server to lift up pieces of the cake so she could see them in profile.

MrsMook Tue 22-Apr-14 07:38:03

My male colleague is a ditherer. I get bored while he's talking as it takes so long to say anything. In staff planning time, he couldn't reach a decision on something, and started browsing slowly through a textbook, page by page. We gave up waiting for an answer and started doing useful thing like marking rather than waiting 5 minutes for a response. He didn't seem to notice.

I got into a (probably irrational) silent hormonal rage in NT tea room as a dithery conversation went on behind me about the merits of each kind of sandwich. Admittedly it was that state of early pregnancy where you want to lynch people for breathing in the same room, much less queuing for 15+ mins, but that level of intense discussion was unnecessary. I did very well at bottling it all up.

sooperdooper Tue 22-Apr-14 07:44:36

Yanbu, especially when they've been queuing infront of the counter for 5 mins!! Just get on with it, aggh

My friend does this with shopping, I can't go with her anymore, even if she sees what she likes, rather than just buy it she dithers and has to go into every single other shop before buying anything

sunshinemmum Tue 22-Apr-14 07:47:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Tue 22-Apr-14 07:50:02

My pet hate! I have a friend who no one will go into supermarket with as she is that bad. She literally dithers over which bleach/ toothpaste/ bread to buy for ages! She knows she is a nightmare though, so let's u leave her to it...

IkeaFurnitureAssemblyChampions Tue 22-Apr-14 07:50:06

DP does this with almost everything. I realised this too late

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Tue 22-Apr-14 07:51:36

BrianButterfield-that, "I'm not hungry, but I could eat..." Line gives me the RAGE!!! Haha.

uselessidiot Tue 22-Apr-14 07:53:36

YANBU, very annoying.

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