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to wonder why Mumsnet is obsessed with boys wearing girls clothes?

(110 Posts)
eatmoremoveless Mon 21-Apr-14 21:09:46

Honestly, you know YANBU, you know everyone will say YANBU, anyone who dares to say YABU will be soundly told off so why bother?

There are so many threads about can I put my son in a dress, tights, pink, florals ... YANBU. You're a right-on, trendy, liberal parent. WE GET IT.

But by now, tedious is what it is: tedious and boring.

SoleSource Mon 21-Apr-14 21:15:08

It's not a new thing. I guess their families were uptight and they feel trendy. Lol

StickEm Mon 21-Apr-14 21:15:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anonynony Mon 21-Apr-14 21:17:36

Y are so NBU!!
I can't understand the big huge deal people need to make of this, sheesh!

AuntieStella Mon 21-Apr-14 21:21:06

Some sites rip into you if you ever start a new read about a theme that's been done before. MN doesn't, no matter how often (even if threads are concurrent).

It's just how it it. It's not because any particular theme that comes up a few times is an "obsession", it's simply part of what the established community does.

needaholidaynow Mon 21-Apr-14 21:24:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lecce Mon 21-Apr-14 21:27:25

I am guilty of starting a couple of threads on this type of thing (though I wasn't actually asking whether IWBU to allow it) and I see your point in a way. I think you only need to read through a couple of such threads to see that some people do have a bit of a problem with it and don't find it 'tedious and boring'. So maybe people are genuinely a bit worried that their dc will come up against some such people in RL.

I can see now there is a bit of a backlash with some people being concerned that their ds has never wanted to wear a dress and is therefore damaging their liberal-parent credentials. Or something.

Fwiw, if you do have a ds who likes this kind of thing, and your family/friends/neighbourhood isn't that sympathetic or 'used to it', it can be a bit stressful. Despite what people on here may say, people in RL do say things, and sometimes, it's nice to have a bit of reassurance.

eatmoremoveless Mon 21-Apr-14 21:29:43

But then there is a difference between, "I let my son wear a dress and my sister made a stupid comment, isn't that silly" and "oh, am I really not unreasonable then? Gosh, aren't I liberal! Tee hee."

It's a much-returned to theme at the moment. I don't care, particularly, what children wear but the angst over it is absolutely ridiculous.

It's an occasional thread - hardly an obsession!

Caitlin17 Mon 21-Apr-14 21:29:51

I've only been here since around September last year and I've seen several. Maybe they were all started by new posters.

The other subject which comes up often is whether it is acceptable not to have an unmarried father on a birth certificate. The multiple threads usually bring out a certain number of usual suspects who vehemently post their entirely erroneous understanding of the legal position (along with their equally erroneous declarations your child will be scarred for life if you don't add father's name)

Out of how many threads?

I suspect, once you start to see a pattern, every such thread leaps out, but there are hundreds of threads a week on here, on many, many subjects.

LoveSardines Mon 21-Apr-14 21:42:28

Maybe people who are trendy and liberal, or who are trying to be trendy, or even just liberal, need reassurance / affirmation as much as anyone else, on this. Going out with a boy even a toddler dressed in anything associated with girls will draw looks / remarks / comments from people who know the family and sometimes from those who don't. Unless the boy has long hair in which case people will refer to it with female pronouns (is that the word) which could also lead to discomfort.

Because although on MN everyone says "yes it's fine don't be silly why not", in real life the vast majority of people will at minimum look at them like they're weird and at the worst end tell them that they are going to cause the child deep psychological problems (usually unspecified but let's face it everyone knows what they are getting at).

So let them post I say. Until the extremely gendered nature of everything calms right down it's fair enough.

WorraLiberty Mon 21-Apr-14 21:55:48

I often don't believe them.

I think sometimes some people post a 'safe' thread subject just for the company/chat with other posters.

They know they're virtually guaranteed to get lots of posts and most of them will be in agreement, so it's an easy thread for them.

Maybe they're lonely?

usualsuspectt Mon 21-Apr-14 21:58:12

Aww, poor lonely posters.

I don't like the tone of this thread much.

eatmoremoveless Mon 21-Apr-14 22:03:14

Inclined to agree, worra

ikeaismylocal Mon 21-Apr-14 22:04:24

I would suggest you just don't click on the "is it ok for ds to go to a party as cinderella?" type threads, it sounds like those threads irritate you. No need for people to stop posting, just for those who are easily irritated to be more careful about what they read.

It's not just boys in dresses it is also girls wanting to wear practical boys shoes.

Anonynony Mon 21-Apr-14 22:07:17

Aw I'd never have thought of that Worra!

MiniatureRailway Mon 21-Apr-14 22:12:39

AIBU to send my twelve year old son to his tough insertinnercitynamecomprehensive school in a tutu and stockings on non-school uniform day? It's what he really wants to wear. I have already armed him with witty retorts about society's blinkers.

MrsDeVere Mon 21-Apr-14 22:17:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eatmoremoveless Mon 21-Apr-14 22:19:17

Not once did I criticise children wanting to wear clothes for the 'other' gender MrsDeVere and nor did I use the words 'little freak'. Read it again - it's such a non issue I don't see why we need endless threads about it.

Don't let the facts get in the way of hurling abuse and threats my way, though.

Only1scoop Mon 21-Apr-14 22:19:35

Yanbu....have often thought the same

TheSultanofPing Mon 21-Apr-14 22:19:37

The thing is, you get posters on here apparently going out of their way to make sure their DD'S don't wear clothes that are deemed too 'girly'. Then, on the other hand, you have posters seemingly very keen to dress their boys in clothes that are aimed at girls.

It just confuses me a bit.

MrsDeVere Mon 21-Apr-14 22:22:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anonynony Mon 21-Apr-14 22:23:23

The other day someone said that someone said, if you've raised a girl who is into pink and princesses then you've failed spectacularly but if you've raised a boy who's into pink and princesses then you've done it right. Something to that jist and I must say I totally see that!

Caitlin17 Mon 21-Apr-14 22:23:28

Usualsuspect you're not one of the "usual suspects" I referred to in my post!

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