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grandparent needs advice

(19 Posts)
Amber7 Mon 21-Apr-14 19:31:28

My daughter has a toddler of 2 and half. He is being told to say please, thank you etc. all the time. His father jokingly saysh e was being beaten into suibmission, From a happy laughing child he has turned into a quiet watchful one. ~At nursery he does nor play with the other children but sits on his own.
They live abroad and daughter and son in law will not listen to my husband and myself when we warn about the damage that may occur,

constantstress Mon 21-Apr-14 19:34:21

The damage of good manners?

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 21-Apr-14 19:36:35

Being reminded to say please and thank you every time is the perfevt way to ensure it becomes unnecessary to remind in the future.

How on earth do you know the just sitting on their own all day at nursery?

MommyBird Mon 21-Apr-14 19:36:59

I don't understand. The damage of what? Who was beaten?

Could you say abit more?

wheresthelight Mon 21-Apr-14 19:37:16

The change of personality probably has more to do with something at the nursery than being taught manners at an early age. Frankly I don't blame them for jot listening to you. If you value your relationship with your family I would suggest you butt out

TalkieToaster Mon 21-Apr-14 19:37:35

I don't understand the concern here. The damage that will occur from what, exactly?

Sunnydaysablazeinhope Mon 21-Apr-14 19:37:45

Blimey. From abroad you can see your grandson in nursery ? Please recommend your optician....?

mumteedum Mon 21-Apr-14 19:37:46

Don't understand what you're getting at exactly. Do you worry he is literally being beaten? Or just that they re being draconian in enforcing manners? How do you know about behavior at nursery? Is your daughter worried and she's told you this?

caruthers Mon 21-Apr-14 19:39:55

Nothing wrong with teaching a child manners.

Should your Daughter parent the way you did?

annielouisa Mon 21-Apr-14 19:40:29

I have 10 DGC all differing ages, varying personalities and they have all learnt to save please and thank you. None of them have been beaten in submission. There maybe other things going on in your DGS life that is upsetting him. Is there a possibility of bullying at nursery?

BackforGood Mon 21-Apr-14 19:40:29

Like everyone else, I'm not understanding what's wrong with being brought up with manners, and I'm not sure how you are aware he sits on his own at Nursery and has stopped laughing ? confused
You need to tell us more.

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName Mon 21-Apr-14 19:41:57

I don't understand

WooWooOwl Mon 21-Apr-14 19:44:39

You think damage will occur from being reminded to say please and thank you?

parakeet Mon 21-Apr-14 19:45:11

I would imagine Amber does not believe in teaching children to say please and thank you from an early age, and believes in waiting til they are older.

Trust me, Amber, many many parents start on manners early and have children who are happy, confident...and polite! If your grandson has become more quiet of late it is nothing to do with his parents' approach to teaching manners.

sewingandcakes Mon 21-Apr-14 19:46:45

Manners are important IMO, and it takes a lot of prompting and reminding for them to sink in. I would find out more about the nursery before blaming a change in him on being taught manners.

I think the op is saying she is worried the joke of that the dc is being beaten into submission to learn manners is to blame for the childs change in personality.

vestandknickers Mon 21-Apr-14 21:11:44

What are you talking about? What damage? Surely teaching good manners is a good thing?

mygrandchildrenrock Mon 21-Apr-14 21:58:21

One of mine learnt 'yes please' and 'no thank you' as a phrase and didn't realise you could say 'yes' or 'no' without the please or thank you.
When he was 2 and having a terrific tantrum, he lay on the floor flailing his arms and legs shouting 'no thank you, no thank you'!

uselessidiot Mon 21-Apr-14 23:52:35

I'm another one who's confused.

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