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to think this IS an acceptable lunch for an 8 year old?

(313 Posts)
Helenagrace Mon 21-Apr-14 14:51:17

I'm helping a friend out today as she has twin 8 year old boys and she's moving house house tomorrow. I've had them since 8.30am and in my text last night I said I'd "drop them back before dinner - about 5.30?"

I've just given them lunch. They were offered: toast (with peanut butter, egg, pate (homemade mackerel) or cheese), oatcakes (with the same options), half a packet of crisps, tomato, cucumber and pepper, fruit and a piece of home-made chocolate and cherry brownie.

Both have had oatcakes with cheese (6 each) plus salad, a hard boiled egg, an orange, crisps and a piece of cake.

My friend rang to see if they were ok and she spoke to one of the boys. Then I get a text from her saying she's coming to pick them up as she "hadn't realised they wouldn't be getting a proper lunch". I sent a text back saying that we were eating our main meal in the evening and I thought they were too and I've just had the reply back "yes but that's not really much of a lunch is it?"

It's a perfectly acceptable lunch in my house. Does anyone want to ring social services and dob me in for starving my children?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Mon 21-Apr-14 15:00:49

Sounds fine to me, as long as the children are full what has she got to complain about?
Janethegirl - what would your children consider a meal then?
It has a lot of elements there, had it been just the oatcakes I might have agreed, but with salad, crisps, egg, fruit and cake?! That is a full lunch!

Nomama Mon 21-Apr-14 15:02:21

Tell her to come and get her boys then, pity as you were enjoying their company and they had enjoyed their lunch.

Then, in person, tell her to piss off, that she is incredibly rude and she could have asked you what the boys had actually eaten before being so fucking judgmental!

Cross her off your Christmas list too.

Alternatively, she is stressed, moving is horrid. Forgive her this once, explain when she gets to you and let her change her mind smile

Hissy Mon 21-Apr-14 15:03:57

Wow! Even for my food monster 8yo that'd be fine for lunch.

If they were hungry, i'm sure they'd say.

Anyone who looked after my DS from 8.30 for a whole day (let alone TWO of him) would be the object of my forever love tbh., i'd not criticise a single thing!

She's an ungrateful cah!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Mon 21-Apr-14 15:04:15

Rude bitch!

Bitofadilema Mon 21-Apr-14 15:04:46

Very ungrateful. No manners at all.

NoodleOodle Mon 21-Apr-14 15:05:35

How rude of her. I would like to know what she expected you to have fed them?

Bitofadilema Mon 21-Apr-14 15:06:07

What are you going to say to her? I wouldn't let this go. She'll have no friends soon at this rate.

Janethegirl Mon 21-Apr-14 15:06:17

I would have included something hot such as homemade soup at a minimum.

SystemIDUnknown Mon 21-Apr-14 15:07:58

Some people have weird ideas about 'proper' food.

A friend of mine once said, on seeing my ds's lunch 'I don't know how you get away with just giving them a snack at this time! My ds (aged 6, same age as my ds1) would be starving if that's all he had!'

Her idea of a 'proper lunch' that day was beans on toast (not that there's anything wrong with that). My dc's had had a slice of wholemeal bread, tinned smoked mussels, carrot, pepper and cucumber sticks and a yoghurt. So definitely more of a 'picnic' type meal but still what I would consider a 'proper' meal. Full of protein, carbs, veg, calcium. NOT acceptable to my friend though, clearly.

workhouse Mon 21-Apr-14 15:08:42

Ruuude!! and very ungrateful. When we moved mine ate like that for days, with the occasional takeaway.

Topaz25 Mon 21-Apr-14 15:09:07

Cheeky mare! Sounds like you were doing her a big favour and she's being ungrateful. Your lunch sounds fine to me, especially the brownie! Tell her exactly what they had for lunch in case she misunderstood and tell her if that's not up to her standards unfortunately you won't be able to look after them again. I'd also say "I wish you'd told me you didn't need me for the whole day, I would have made plans" but maybe that's me!

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo Mon 21-Apr-14 15:09:45

Sounds like a lovely healthy lunch, she's just an ungrateful cow.

DD and I had cheese tosties today.

stiffstink Mon 21-Apr-14 15:10:14

Your lunch is great OP! I need some cherry chocolate brownie now though!

ThisIsLID Mon 21-Apr-14 15:10:15

As you are helping her looking after the boys, I am struggling to see how she can be so difficult. My only concern would have been if the child had been left hungry but I am assuming this isn't the case.

Which then makes me wonder. Is she taking her decision based only on what her dss told her? ie they might have said 'half a packet of crisps and a boiled egg' rather than the whole list. Or one of them might have thought it was 'light' but didn't dare saying so?

My ds, who is 8yo and a real oger at the mo (ie he is eating easily twice as much as me atm) would have been happy with it but would have eaten much more than that

TitchyCooPark Mon 21-Apr-14 15:10:59

How downright rude of her!!

Call me old-fashioned or just plan stingey, but whenever I had other people's DCs I would cook an evening meal but ask them to bring a packed lunch for this very reason. That way, they could just eat in the garden or in front of the telly as part of a natural break from anything else they were doing. Gave you more flexibility to do spontaneous things like going to the park etc.,

If I ever cooked lunch it was fishfinger sandwiches, no one in the world ever complains about fishfinger sandwiches. It is the Food of Kings to all age groups.

Mind you, it always seemed to me that you could give other peoples DCs anything for tea but lunch was always so much more of a social minefield.


weatherall Mon 21-Apr-14 15:11:11

If she is moving house then presumably she won't be making them a 'proper' dinner tonight. Therefore probably expected you anticipating this and giving them a cooked meal type lunch. If I thought they weren't getting a full dinner I'd feed them more than biscuits, fruit crisps and cake for lunch.

If they are going through a growth spurt they may well have still been hungry after that. Did you ask them or offer them extra snacks? What did they have for breakfast?

dolicapax Mon 21-Apr-14 15:11:23

If they were my kids I'd have been grateful that you had looked after them, grateful that you had fed them, and that would be the sum total of my opinion on anything. She sounds a bit of a control freak. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps the house moves has stressed her out so much she has lost perspective.

youbethemummylion Mon 21-Apr-14 15:12:21

If I was in friends situation i.e twin 8yr olds, moving house etc you could have fed them anything and I still would have been grateful and appreciative of your help. Why she needs to come and 'rescue' them is a mystery I would assume she didnt really need them looking after in the first place and was using you.

weatherall Mon 21-Apr-14 15:13:54

Titchy- my DCs wouldn't touch fish finger sandwiches and I'd be p'd off if someone offered then junk food like that.

KurriKurri Mon 21-Apr-14 15:14:01

I would consider that a big lunch for myself - actually I don't think I could manage six oatcakes. It is perfectly fine for an eight year old. Your friend is very rude OP.

Janethegirl - why do you think it is important to have something hot for a lunch? (I'm not trying to be rude- am just curious, I've never understood the 'hot food' thing)

I have one cooked meal a day (which could actually be salad so not cooked) and one lunch type meal - sandwiches, crackers, salad bits, and occasionally beans on toast or scrambled egg - but hot is not essential to me.

Itsfab Mon 21-Apr-14 15:14:32

Lovely lunch. Lots of choice. Good food as well as treats with the crisps. She is annoyed as realises she will have to cook tonight if she wants her kids to have a hot, full meal maybe. I wouldn't be available for baby sitting again that is for sure!

When someone is helping you out so much it is polite to be grateful if they are fed FULL STOP with one choice never mind given a huge choice.

MincingOnBy Mon 21-Apr-14 15:14:57

Baffled by this tbh. It's a normal lunch! Don't see what her problem is.

GoldenGytha Mon 21-Apr-14 15:15:00

How rude and ungrateful of her, but maybe put it down to the stress of moving house, but if she's always like this, then re think the friendship.

My DDs loved this type of lunch, and would often ask for "A funny lunch please"

DD1 doesn't like cheese so I would have substituted ham or chicken for her, but other than that they would, and still do love a lunch like that.

Chippednailvarnish Mon 21-Apr-14 15:15:33

You need to tell her that she's rude for stopping you making plans on a bank holiday so you can look after her kids...

Itsfab Mon 21-Apr-14 15:16:34

hmm Janethegirl.

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