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in-law wedding on birthday

(126 Posts)
deliciouscitrus Mon 21-Apr-14 11:44:05

I'm writing this for a friend.
My friends BIL and SIL to be have announced their wedding date for his birthday this year.
It's not a big deal if it were just one day, however In-laws are big anniversary celebration types.
And... every year from now until forever this day will not be his birthday, but BIL & SIL wedding anniversary.
(my friends in laws have a history of ignoring my friends preferences, and his family are abroad)

Is he being unreasonable to refuse to go to the wedding and come to our house for birthday cake instead?

MoreLifeInATrampsVest Tue 22-Apr-14 23:21:08

I suppose it depends on the back story that OP has been hinting at.

DH has a very small family (due to his toxic father alienating his and MIL's siblings years ago and both sets of GP long deceased) but are in touch with a cousin who came to our wedding. They then set the date for their own wedding the weekend of our first wedding anniversary despite knowing we had booked a weekend away as we had no honeymoon die to illness. My God were there tantrums and sulks as we refused to cancel. In the end they got married with just MIL and SIL there, and they've never bothered with us since 5 years later.

But for a birthday, unless it is a 'big' birthday with plans already made, I think it is a bit unreasonable not to go. Celebrate the birthday the day before/after.

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