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To think that to declare that you only want girls/ boys is mostly quite ghastly really?

(117 Posts)
AskBasil Tue 15-Apr-14 09:09:54

I mean really, why?

It strikes me as already putting your child into a box before it's even born. And talk about a bad start for a kid - I really wanted you to have different genitalia because I've got some weird idea that that's what determines your character, behaviour and relationship with me and of course my parenting can't be expected to have as much influence as your genitalia.


Sorry I know there may sometimes be legitimate-ish reasons for this (you've had 5 boys already and you want a girl, you're thinking of the future when you're a MIL etc.) but the woman I know hasn't got such reasons - she's just a fuckwit and I need to vent because I'm sick of her saying (in front of my DS as well), that she only wants girls. Bear with me. grin

Orangeisthenewbanana Sat 04-Jul-15 09:28:45

I have one DD and am probably leaning slightly to wanting another girl for DC2. Mainly because I love my relationship with my sisters and I won't have to buy many new clothes. I wouldn't be at all disappointed with a boy though, different relationship and different challenges. As pp's have said, it isn't wrong to have a preference, unless it influences how you then treat your children.

cluecu Sat 04-Jul-15 00:29:07

ps I don't declare that out loud which might be the original point of the thread smile

cluecu Sat 04-Jul-15 00:28:02

I have been ttc for 15 months and would be grateful for a baby earwig right now BUT

For some weird reason I hope that if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant, It's a girl. it won't matter at all and whatever I hopefully have will feel just right but at the moment I'd prefer a girl.

No biggie

Ledare Sat 04-Jul-15 00:24:29

This thread is over a year old. Zombie Warning fail?

jellybeans Sat 04-Jul-15 00:22:47

Disgusting Dixie. I once saw a programme where a mother cried her eyes out in front of her sons as it was 'another boy'.

Devastation at a scan is being told at your 20 wk scan that your baby has severe problems or has died (personal experience).

jellybeans Sat 04-Jul-15 00:20:35

Yanbu. I hate boy bashing! Boy/girl who cares it is personality that makes them so different (I have 3 DS 2 Dd).

deriant Sat 04-Jul-15 00:17:54

TokenGinger - If she is not going to be a good mother to a boy, she might be making the right decision

Jacamaar Sat 04-Jul-15 00:12:11

i have 4 ds and a 4 month old dd.
in between having ds3 and ds4 i had two 2nd second trimester losses both girls so i thought i couldn't carry girls.
when i was pg with ds4 and i found out he was a boy i was so happy because i knew i could carry boys so i knew i would have my beautiful baby.
then i got pregnant when he was 17 months old and found out i was having a girl and i was terrified throughout my whole pregnancy that i was going to lose her and so we didn't tell anybody until she was born.
what shocks me now is people coming up to me hugging me almost crying telling me well done you've had a girl just because she is a girl if she had been a fifth ds i would have loved him just as much.
i love my boys just as much as my dd.
oh and people ask me will you stop now you've got a girl including a mw at the hospital who apologized straight away as my face must have said it all.
but there will definitely be no number 6

TokenGinger Fri 03-Jul-15 23:43:04

I know somebody who's 16 weeks pregnant and had a private scan, discovered she's having a boy and is now considering abortion. Disgusting.

DixieNormas Fri 03-Jul-15 23:36:45

I have 5 boys, ive never minded what they were. When we had a gender scan for ds3 the family before us all came out crying. We thought something awful had happened, no they were just having their 7th boy.

ApocalypseThen Fri 03-Jul-15 23:17:36

I'm not sure why it's such a crime to express a preference for one sex to a parent who has a child of the other sex. My child is a girl. If a pregnant friend tells me she'd like to have a boy for whatever reason or none, it's no skin off my nose and I can see no reason why I'd be offended by it.

Maybe I've an exceptionally thick skin but you'll have to work harder than saying you'd like a boy because they don't like princesses to offend me.

cookiemonster100 Fri 03-Jul-15 23:05:50

My SIL (who is not even pg yet), has given away all her boys clothes as she wants the next one to be a girl. So because she wants it she seems to think she will get it. hmm

Glittery7 Fri 03-Jul-15 22:31:23

I wanted a son for most of my life. Just one child, a boy.
After I had my firstborn daughter I was really hoping for another girl. It's what you know.

Thurlow Fri 02-May-14 13:00:55

Before I had a DC, I always imagined having boys. I some silly notion of strapping rugby playing teenagers vs girls who wanted to play with dolls and have their hair plaited


Now I have a DD I know it makes absolutely fuck all difference because they are who they are regardless of personality.

So I say YAB possibly slightly U for people who haven't had children yet (especially those that still live in the dream world where they'll have the baby sleeping through from 6 weeks and will do elimination communication from day one because, really, why bother with nappies?).

But YADNBU when it comes to people who already have DC.

Loverdose Fri 02-May-14 12:44:51

I had a girl but I honestly had no preference whatsoever. I've just split with husband and have no idea if I'll ever have another child in the future, so I know I'm lucky to have the one I have regardless of gender. smile

Igggi Fri 02-May-14 12:23:34

I had a preference, got the opposite (twice) and couldn't be happier.

leedsgirl231 Fri 02-May-14 11:41:06

I want a boy AND a girl? why?! because I just do.
I don't really care if I have two boys
or two girls
or three girls and a boy
or two boys and two girls
they will be MY children, it's just what I want. Mother father sister brother. thats just what I would like, not what I need/want.

throwaway1256 Fri 02-May-14 08:03:29

I always wonder how these parents would react if their child grew up to be transgender and they didn't have their precious daughter/son anymore.

GatoradeMeBitch Thu 01-May-14 12:52:51

I follow a few YouTube families - though I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the child exploitation involved - and I was shocked at the reaction when Judy Travis was pregnant last year. They already have a little girl, and they found out they would be having twin girls. The comments section was awful - people were trying to commiserate with them, and tell them they'd get it 'right' next time. It was if the double whammy of two girls added insult to injury! (It didn't help that her husband started bleating about wanting 'his boy' when the new babies were only days old.) But you'll see a hell of a lot of sexism online when it comes to this kind of thing - and a disturbing amount of it has young female avatars attached sad

PrincessBabyCat Thu 01-May-14 10:53:33

My husband wanted a little girl to treat like a little princess with pink and everything. We go lucky and had a girl. I'm sure he'd be just fine with a boy, but I think he'd be a little harder on a boy than a girl. Now I have the opposite problem, I'll have to make sure she doesn't turn out to be a spoiled "daddy's little princess" type. He was talking all big about how he was going to do corporal punishment, as soon as she was born that all went out the window and he was just like "I'll send her to you for discipline". LOL, no. But that's a talk for a different day when she's older.

Anyway, I was happy to have a girl just because they have so many cute little outfits... and yes, I'm secretly hoping to do fun girly things like manicures and such. I suspect she'll be a rough and tumble girl like me though, getting her cute dresses muddy and coming in the house with snakes and bugs she caught. smile

We're trying to make sure we get her a mix of toys as she grows up, so it's not all girl things. My brother has already predetermined she will like legos, and my husband has already predetermined she'll like FPS games (again, another talk for a different day, lol).

weatherall Thu 01-May-14 01:12:58

I always wanted one of each so when pg for the second time I did have a sex preference.

It would have been the same if the sexes were reversed though.

However I don't think that just because you want a boy/girl automatically means that you want them to be stereotypes.

Eg I don't buy dolls/ Disney princess for DD and I don't buy guns/ DIY type toys for DS etc etc

TequilaMockingbirdy Thu 01-May-14 01:03:37

It doesn't bother me at all when people say they want one or the other. They usually change their minds anyway.

ZingWatermelon Thu 01-May-14 00:22:48

ffs, dick phone

I meant do you want unfeminine women? why?


ZingWatermelon Thu 01-May-14 00:21:53

you want feminine women? why? what's wrong with feminine women?

if you want unfeminine children you might as well have boys (who would presumably be all alpha males)confused

rinabean Wed 30-Apr-14 19:58:32

YABU, there's nothing wrong with wanting one or the other. I want only daughters and no not because I want pretty princesses, in fact I don't want that at all. People want to see themselves in their children, don't they? I want unfeminine women like me for children. I don't understand women who want only boys though, especially when they say it's because they're "easier" or even "better".

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