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To think that to declare that you only want girls/ boys is mostly quite ghastly really?

(117 Posts)
AskBasil Tue 15-Apr-14 09:09:54

I mean really, why?

It strikes me as already putting your child into a box before it's even born. And talk about a bad start for a kid - I really wanted you to have different genitalia because I've got some weird idea that that's what determines your character, behaviour and relationship with me and of course my parenting can't be expected to have as much influence as your genitalia.


Sorry I know there may sometimes be legitimate-ish reasons for this (you've had 5 boys already and you want a girl, you're thinking of the future when you're a MIL etc.) but the woman I know hasn't got such reasons - she's just a fuckwit and I need to vent because I'm sick of her saying (in front of my DS as well), that she only wants girls. Bear with me. grin

leedsgirl231 Fri 02-May-14 11:41:06

I want a boy AND a girl? why?! because I just do.
I don't really care if I have two boys
or two girls
or three girls and a boy
or two boys and two girls
they will be MY children, it's just what I want. Mother father sister brother. thats just what I would like, not what I need/want.

Igggi Fri 02-May-14 12:23:34

I had a preference, got the opposite (twice) and couldn't be happier.

Loverdose Fri 02-May-14 12:44:51

I had a girl but I honestly had no preference whatsoever. I've just split with husband and have no idea if I'll ever have another child in the future, so I know I'm lucky to have the one I have regardless of gender. smile

Thurlow Fri 02-May-14 13:00:55

Before I had a DC, I always imagined having boys. I some silly notion of strapping rugby playing teenagers vs girls who wanted to play with dolls and have their hair plaited


Now I have a DD I know it makes absolutely fuck all difference because they are who they are regardless of personality.

So I say YAB possibly slightly U for people who haven't had children yet (especially those that still live in the dream world where they'll have the baby sleeping through from 6 weeks and will do elimination communication from day one because, really, why bother with nappies?).

But YADNBU when it comes to people who already have DC.

Glittery7 Fri 03-Jul-15 22:31:23

I wanted a son for most of my life. Just one child, a boy.
After I had my firstborn daughter I was really hoping for another girl. It's what you know.

cookiemonster100 Fri 03-Jul-15 23:05:50

My SIL (who is not even pg yet), has given away all her boys clothes as she wants the next one to be a girl. So because she wants it she seems to think she will get it. hmm

ApocalypseThen Fri 03-Jul-15 23:17:36

I'm not sure why it's such a crime to express a preference for one sex to a parent who has a child of the other sex. My child is a girl. If a pregnant friend tells me she'd like to have a boy for whatever reason or none, it's no skin off my nose and I can see no reason why I'd be offended by it.

Maybe I've an exceptionally thick skin but you'll have to work harder than saying you'd like a boy because they don't like princesses to offend me.

DixieNormas Fri 03-Jul-15 23:36:45

I have 5 boys, ive never minded what they were. When we had a gender scan for ds3 the family before us all came out crying. We thought something awful had happened, no they were just having their 7th boy.

TokenGinger Fri 03-Jul-15 23:43:04

I know somebody who's 16 weeks pregnant and had a private scan, discovered she's having a boy and is now considering abortion. Disgusting.

Jacamaar Sat 04-Jul-15 00:12:11

i have 4 ds and a 4 month old dd.
in between having ds3 and ds4 i had two 2nd second trimester losses both girls so i thought i couldn't carry girls.
when i was pg with ds4 and i found out he was a boy i was so happy because i knew i could carry boys so i knew i would have my beautiful baby.
then i got pregnant when he was 17 months old and found out i was having a girl and i was terrified throughout my whole pregnancy that i was going to lose her and so we didn't tell anybody until she was born.
what shocks me now is people coming up to me hugging me almost crying telling me well done you've had a girl just because she is a girl if she had been a fifth ds i would have loved him just as much.
i love my boys just as much as my dd.
oh and people ask me will you stop now you've got a girl including a mw at the hospital who apologized straight away as my face must have said it all.
but there will definitely be no number 6

deriant Sat 04-Jul-15 00:17:54

TokenGinger - If she is not going to be a good mother to a boy, she might be making the right decision

jellybeans Sat 04-Jul-15 00:20:35

Yanbu. I hate boy bashing! Boy/girl who cares it is personality that makes them so different (I have 3 DS 2 Dd).

jellybeans Sat 04-Jul-15 00:22:47

Disgusting Dixie. I once saw a programme where a mother cried her eyes out in front of her sons as it was 'another boy'.

Devastation at a scan is being told at your 20 wk scan that your baby has severe problems or has died (personal experience).

Ledare Sat 04-Jul-15 00:24:29

This thread is over a year old. Zombie Warning fail?

cluecu Sat 04-Jul-15 00:28:02

I have been ttc for 15 months and would be grateful for a baby earwig right now BUT

For some weird reason I hope that if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant, It's a girl. it won't matter at all and whatever I hopefully have will feel just right but at the moment I'd prefer a girl.

No biggie

cluecu Sat 04-Jul-15 00:29:07

ps I don't declare that out loud which might be the original point of the thread smile

Orangeisthenewbanana Sat 04-Jul-15 09:28:45

I have one DD and am probably leaning slightly to wanting another girl for DC2. Mainly because I love my relationship with my sisters and I won't have to buy many new clothes. I wouldn't be at all disappointed with a boy though, different relationship and different challenges. As pp's have said, it isn't wrong to have a preference, unless it influences how you then treat your children.

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