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To refuse to waltz with dp on our wedding day?

(48 Posts)
ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 20:21:00

We are getting married this summer, I will be 7 months pregnant and likely very huge.

In dp's culture tradition states that the bride and groom should do a waltz as their first dance.

I am dyslexic and have very bad co-ordination at the best of times never mind when I have a huge bump. I have never waltzed, infact I have never danced apart from the occasional drunken attempt.

AIBU to say that I am not doing a bloody waltz, at a push I am willing to do a half hearted slow dance with dp.

Joules68 Sat 12-Apr-14 20:29:35

My dad's a dance teacher and does private lessons for first dance at weddings

It's doable, even at 7 months!

runawaysimba Sat 12-Apr-14 20:32:16

I think you're entirely reasonable not to want to waltz - I guess tradition also dictates the bride's a virgin grin
What does your DP think about a slow dance instead?

lilrascal Sat 12-Apr-14 20:33:45

how important is it to your husband to be? I would take lessons or at least do a "half hearted slow dance" as you put it to make him happy. surely the day is about compromise. if its not important to you both do what you want.

oh and congratulations on wedding and newborn smile

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Sat 12-Apr-14 20:35:00

It depends really - if you've made all wedding decisions together then fair enough come up with a compromise together

If you've chosen everything else and this one thing is important to him then you should try

Nomama Sat 12-Apr-14 20:35:26

Oh go for it!

You might enjoy it!

ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 20:37:04

Dp has his heart set on a waltz. He has danced as a hobby so he can waltz well and everyone waltzs at weddings so all his family can waltz.

He just informed me that we would start off waltzing and then everyone joins in and we all swap partners so I'd have to dance with his dad and the best man, he'd dance with my mum and bridesmaids (non of whome can waltz) I could possibly just about get my head around an undignified waddle around the dance floor with my dp but I will end up standing on his dad's toes or falling over ontop of the best man blush

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sat 12-Apr-14 20:40:26

Depends on the extent to which you have already had to compromise for him. But no, if you really don't want to do it and it is important to you then sit him down and explain how it would make you feel. And see if you can together as a team come up with a plan. Because you are a team, right ?

RandomMess Sat 12-Apr-14 20:41:15

Have private lessons together, it will be a lovely thing to do together. Warn your family - it will be a lovely memory for you all to have all learning how to dance for this one occasion!

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 12-Apr-14 20:43:24

Have Dance lessons. We had some before our wedding. If I can do it you can

WilsonFrickett Sat 12-Apr-14 20:45:34

It sounds like it is important to him so can't you get a few lessons? Of all the dances to attempt when 7 mos pg, the waltz is probably the most achievable... And once you do the swapping bit, no-one will be focusing on you, it will all just be every man for themselves.

Are you normally a confident, joky person? You could appear with a set of L plates, make a joke of it sort of thing?

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Sat 12-Apr-14 20:46:35

If it's that important a family thing then I think you should

someonestolemynick Sat 12-Apr-14 20:46:47

Waltzing is about the easiest dance at its most basic. Why don't you ask your husband to waltz with you int the safety of your home and decide if you'd be happy to do it after you gave it a go.

I'm the most unco-ordinated person ever, and I can do a basic waltz.

BadgersNadgers Sat 12-Apr-14 20:47:06

Fucking hell. No, don't do it.

Goldmandra Sat 12-Apr-14 20:49:27

Waltzing is easy and I'm the least coordinated and the worst dancer in any room.

Why not agree to waltz with your new DH and then sit the rest out?

thebody Sat 12-Apr-14 20:49:34

He loves you. His family love you. Your friends love you.

It's your wedding. What on Earth is there to worry about?

Just enjoy your special day.

SantanaLopez Sat 12-Apr-14 20:50:04

Just do it! It'll be two minutes at most, and he'll be leading.

Maryz Sat 12-Apr-14 20:55:49

A half-hearted slow-dance is perfectly acceptable.

I would just smile and nod, postpone learning, and then slow-dance to a waltz-type tune. I doubt anyone will really care in the end.

CMOTDibbler Sat 12-Apr-14 20:56:10

Dancing with him, I'd learn to do a dignified waltz. But being passed around, no. I don't do dancing where someone touches you with anyone but dh for a start.

So, I'd compromise, and say I'd dance with him and everyone else can waltz around you

ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 20:57:11

Neither of us has had to compromise really, we are just getting married at the town hall, hiring an barn and having a big party with a buffet drinks and dancing in the evening.

No wedding cars, no posh clothes (I will be happy if i can find a dress that fits me!) it really won't be traditional to either of our cultures so I'm not really sure why the waltz is so important to him.

I'll ask him to try to teach me a little bit, when I was 7 months pregnant with ds i could only hug dp from the side my bump was so big!

Much as I hate the thought (we had no dancing at all at our wedding) I would probably make the effort if it was so important to everyone else. But only for a couple of minutes and then sit out.

Maryz Sat 12-Apr-14 21:00:53

That's a good idea.

Ask him to teach you a little bit. Either you will get the hang of it (result) or he will give up (also result).

And either way, you can sway slowly to a watz-type-tune on the day. And everyone else can join in and sway slightly, with you turning in the middle to face them all in turn and sway in their direction.

After which he will owe you.

Is there anything you want to bargain with? Name of baby for example?

thebody Sat 12-Apr-14 21:03:52

You will be incredible. Enjoy. And get everyone to film it.

We watched our wedding video (old) from1988 with our now 4 teen/grown up children just last week. It's a wonderful memory. Enjoy yours.

Aventurine Sat 12-Apr-14 21:09:29

Could you suggest you put your feet on top of his feet so he sort of walks you round the waltz? grin

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Sat 12-Apr-14 21:15:25

When you say 'waltz' and 'culture' and 'all his family do it', are we talking slow waltz, or Viennese? (Just because all the Austrians I know can viennese waltz).

Slow waltz, I think you'll be fine, honest smile

Viennese... I wouldn't be so sure, there'll be (sorry for sounding rude), quite a bit of you to turn very very quickly!

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