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To not want to move to my new home

(27 Posts)
purpleella Sat 12-Apr-14 13:27:42

I've been renting a house in Bristol just a couple of streets from my children's lovely school. It's near a popular road (Gloucester Rd) with shops, cafes etc minutes from my doorstep. Unfortunately the landlady decided to sell and with rental prices rising etc we decided it was time to buy. We couldn't afford anything in this area, so we've chosen a lovely home on a road about 20mins walk from here. The road is a big main road which leads to Lockleaze, which is a fairly deprived local authority estate, so this house is on the edge of that.
I don't love the area, it feels nothingy, lacking in character, and I won't be able to walk to anything.
However it's what we can afford, I have a car, and it's best for the children that we settle somewhere that we won't be moved on from (rental). So I bought it.
We're now days from the move, and the packers are packing my house. I feel sick, hate the idea of leaving my road, hate the idea of living in the new road, feel stupid and selfish for feeing this way.

fideline Sat 12-Apr-14 13:31:21

Look at it as being an intermediate stage. You can build some equity and move on.

At least your DC get to stay at their lovely school.

WorraLiberty Sat 12-Apr-14 13:35:03

If it's only 20 mins from where you live now, of course you can walk! smile

OK your situation isn't ideal but I'm sure you'll make the best of it.

At least you get to stay not far from where you live and your DC don't have to be uprooted from the school. flowers

WooWooo Sat 12-Apr-14 13:37:10

Could you rent out the house that you are buying and stay put? If you can roughly break even then consider it?

I know people doing this where they can rent a far better quality property that they buy but they are still investing by doing this.

pictish Sat 12-Apr-14 13:39:47

You and everyone else OP. That's how it goes.
We left our beloved Edinburgh to live somewhere 6 miles out, where we could afford the required number of bedrooms and a sizeable garden. Edinburgh too expensive.
A lot of the families here did the same.
That's the sacrifice you have to make.

You are 20 minutes walk away and have a car. You're fine.

pinkstinks Sat 12-Apr-14 13:52:00

It will be fine don't worry! But it's a shame as g road is lovely! So many people are in the same position though you will probably find people who have done the same!
We are in totterdown and couldn't buy heresy will end up doing te same in a few years I expect!

Feminine Sat 12-Apr-14 13:52:05

You know you are being unreasonable.

It is really the silliest thing to worry about.

You have been fortunate to buy a home smile

Feminine Sat 12-Apr-14 13:53:32

Are you worried about living near the 'estate'?

NinjaLeprechaun Sat 12-Apr-14 14:01:24

Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do. It's up there with divorce and death of family members.
Of course you're being unreasonable, logically, but logic has nothing to do with it.

For what it's worth, I felt the same way last time I moved and I was literally only moving from one side of the road to the other.

HelenOfTroysRUs Sat 12-Apr-14 14:27:06

Hello, I live round the corner! We moved from a rental flat somewhere pretty zhuzhi (think that is phonetically correct!) to buy a house probably in the middle of your current and new locations. I'd recommend it.

purpleella Sat 12-Apr-14 21:31:09

Thanks all. I should have said I have M.E so actually 20 mins walk is a challenge. However as you've all said I'm sure it will be fine. Just struggling to lose the sinking feeling, perhaps it's just hard letting go of a house I've been so happy in?

LaurieFairyCake Sat 12-Apr-14 21:33:41

Buy somewhere smaller in the area you like?

Living in a shit hole after living somewhere nice is no fun

bitter divorce experience

t3rr3gl35 Sat 12-Apr-14 22:07:52

It's not all bad and and you never know what is around the corner. I had to leave my beloved house after a divorce many years ago but managed to buy it back again. Meantime, I bought some other properties, one after the other, that I now rent out. I've ended up in a better position than I came from.

Relax about having bought your new home and enjoy the positives. It's yours, you are in control of all of it and your future is more secure than your present.

Amy106 Sat 12-Apr-14 23:34:39

Give the new house a chance. Moving is never easy but it may feel more like home in time.

HauntedNoddyCar Sat 12-Apr-14 23:51:58

Do you feel worse the closer it gets?

We moved last year from a house and place where we were terribly happy. It was a sensible move and I was totally up for it. But actually leaving my lovely home and moving to a house where nothing was as nice was a really unsettling episode.

It's taken a while but we are settling in. We finally started decorating and feeling like this is our home. And some unexpected stuff has happened which will mean we made a brilliant choice.

Don't despair! It may be a fantastic decision when it all shakes down. It's a whole new episode waiting to unfold smile

Rafflesway Sat 12-Apr-14 23:53:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notcontent Sat 12-Apr-14 23:57:38

I think buying involves a compromise for a lot of people. My compromise was the other way around - I stayed in the same I area but bought a less than perfect house - very small and in need of work. Not my dream home at all.

Catsize Sat 12-Apr-14 23:59:48

When you look at the dandelions on the lawn and think 'I OWN those dandelions', it will feel great. Good luck in your new home OP.

specialmagiclady Sun 13-Apr-14 00:08:19

As someone else who lives near you, I can totally understand how you feel. It would be GUTTING for me to leave the GloRo.

But there are other compensations - more outside space, nearer the farm and Blackberry tower and so on. Handy for B &Q :-/ Where you moving to? Does it affect schools for the kids?

specialmagiclady Sun 13-Apr-14 00:09:44

We may know each other... Smal worlds.

LibraryMum8 Sun 13-Apr-14 00:52:29

I'm sure your new home will be lovely. There are many inexpensive ways to brighten it up and make it yours. And as another poster mentioned think of it as a stepping stone...but maybe you'll learn to love it even more in time.

Bogeyface Sun 13-Apr-14 02:27:26

Before I moved to the house I am posting from I was living in a rented LA house (from another LA house that I had loved). I hated it, because it never felt like home. I moved there after my marriage failed, the garden had a fecking great hole in it, one lot of neighbours had a feral Rottweiler that would clear their 5ft fence and go mental at my kitchen window whenever it saw me, other neighbour had feral kids which were worse!

Then in 1999 I was in the fortunate position to buy a wee terrace all of my very own. I was thrilled!

But for reasons I still cant quite work out, on the day we moved I changed my mind! I decided I didnt want to move, we were better at the old house...

I was scared. Better the devil I knew. But I was wrong, we are so very happy here. This is our home, and your new house will be your home too smile

Blueandwhitelover Sun 13-Apr-14 09:12:33

My son lives VERY near to you then, he loves being so close to Gloucester Road so I do understand how you are feeling.
It is probably just nerves and wanting to stay in the familiar surroundings.
Hope it all works out for you.

purpleella Sun 13-Apr-14 19:10:39

I'm moving to Shaldon Rd, and since my kids are already in a local primary that will stay the same.

specialmagiclady Sun 13-Apr-14 21:49:32

So lots will be the same and best of all, your place will be yours!

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