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to think my dsis should not let her toddler trash my house?

(29 Posts)
passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:13:21

don't know if I'm being uptight or not..changed a few details as don't want to out myself.

dsis has a 17 month old little girl, as most toddlers she is in to everything she can't have. wink

whenever they come round, she goes for everything, the TV, the DVDs, literally everything but the toys!

my dsis lets her do it all, I have had to put the dvds back twice, Hoover up again as she let her squash a cake in to the carpet, she lets her go to the TV and wack it. she will say no but doesn't actually stop her unless she is doing something dangerous.

I wouldn't mind if she tidied up a bit after her but she doesn't so my house is left looking like a bomb site. hmm

am I being unreasonable? whenever we take the dc out I always watch them and stop them from doing anything they shouldn't be and always tidy up their mess if they make any, like pens and paper etc.

I'm not talking about a toy here and there, I'm talking chaos everywhere. shock

Needaninsight Sat 05-Apr-14 20:17:24

As the mother of a toddler this age, I suggest you visit at her house!

I find it incredibly stressful taking DD to anyone's house who doesn't have a baby/toddler this age. Your house is probably incredibly toddler unfriendly wink

(although I am a bit shock that she doesn't clear up after her, and the bit about the squashed cake in the carpet!)

cakeymccakington Sat 05-Apr-14 20:18:13

Yanbu in expecting her to do something but personally I'd be stopping her myself. Why don't you tell her not to hit stuff or mash food into the carpet?

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:20:51

lol tbh her house isn't really toddlerproof either she just lets him do it, I know that they can be mischievous, DD was always one for trying to escape to other rooms, I didn't let her though.

I know! I saw the cake being broken up and said no and took it off her and she howled.

honestly after they visit I need wine

Scrounger Sat 05-Apr-14 20:21:59

Agree with cakey, if she isn't going to say anything then stop her or prevent it happening in the first place e.g. she only eats food in the kitchen or take something off her if she is going to hit the TV with it etc You could try distraction as well but her mother should be stopping her. Is there any reason that she isn't? If she continues to let her child misbehave and you feel that it is too much hassle to have her over at this age arrange to meet out or at your DS's.

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:22:28

I'll be honest cakey I feel like I can't sometimes which is silly as it is my house?! hmm

if I do say something it is usually laughed off or followed by yeah she's being a little bugger.

NoodleOodle Sat 05-Apr-14 20:23:13

It's not really fair on you but maybe she is knackered and hoping you will jump in and do a bit of the child watching while she sits back as a pampered guest when she's at your house?

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:23:24

sorry do you mean tell my niece or my dsis, if you mean my niece I do tell her, she screams. lol but by then she has already done it.

indigo18 Sat 05-Apr-14 20:24:40

YADNBU I was very annoyed with a friend who not only made no attempt to stop her child from riding a toy tractor over flowerbeds - he was ignoring my calling to him loudly to stop - but actually laughed at me. There was plenty of space for him to ride and he was looking me straight in the eye as he ignored my protestations.

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:24:50

noodle I wouldn't normally mind but I'm knackered too, I have my four year old, my five month old and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. shock. I need sleep. blush

alemci Sat 05-Apr-14 20:25:34

I wouldn't have it. I wouldn't have let my own dc do that in my house or anywhere else. make her have her cake at the table and say no to your dn if she is bashing tv.

does she do these things in her own home.

minipie Sat 05-Apr-14 20:27:33

pulling out a pile of DVDs is ok

but SIL should clear them up afterwards

letting her squish cake into the carpet or whack the tv (presumably with chance of breaking it) is not ok

so yanbu, mostly

but... it's really not that easy to stop toddlers doing things, especially if there isn't a toddler proof room to retreat to. I agree, meet at her house that way it's her mess and her stuff that gets destroyed!

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:28:13

Ale she does, dsis has had a photo frame broke, her phone broke amongst other things.

I think my dsis is just really really really laidback?

Scrounger Sat 05-Apr-14 20:31:52

It is fine to be laidback in your own house, not in someone else's. We had a similar problem with a niece but she was a bit older. When she came round I told her and my DS in front of their GPs (who had brought her over) three house rules. I kept it simple but I said it in front of GPs so that they knew. We also moved some really delicate models that had been broken up before on previous visits.

HappyAgainOneDay Sat 05-Apr-14 20:45:38

I wouldn't let them come to my house if the mother couldn't be bothered to control her child and what I said to the child was ignored.

Barbaralovesroger Sat 05-Apr-14 20:46:00

Can you just request to go to your DS's as you are do exhausted at the mo?

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 20:51:22

I would but I don't drive and where she lives isn't accessible by public transport which is none existent in our village anyway thanks to council cuts. angry

mynamesnotwendy Sat 05-Apr-14 20:55:18

You sound very uptight.

HumphreyCobbler Sat 05-Apr-14 20:57:22

I don't think you sound uptight. I had a toddler like this, I had to follow him around all the time, stopping him. It was tiring and annoying, but I couldn't let him trash other people's houses!

mynamesnotwendy Sat 05-Apr-14 20:57:48

Food in a highchair?

Journey Sat 05-Apr-14 21:06:17

I agree with HappyAgainOneDay

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 21:06:19

I don't have a high chair unfortunately. and even when she is in hers she soon screams to get out.

alemci Sat 05-Apr-14 21:38:50

dont let her have any cake. biscuit better? hover and make her sit or you take it away.

passmethewineplease Sat 05-Apr-14 21:59:41

I could do, I'd just feel like I would be stepping on my sister's toes a bit? but if she won't say anything then it will be up to me?

Sandytrousers Sat 05-Apr-14 22:08:56

I don't think you sound remotely uptight.

Your sister sounds bad mannered; she isn't showing any respect for your home or possessions and is setting a bad example to her child.

Don't have them round to your house. You can say, gently and without aggression, that you can't cope with them coming because of the mess it causes. It's the truth, isn't if?

Meet where the surroundings aren't your precious things and enjoy her company rather than let her annoy you with her lax parenting.

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