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aibu to tell my boss to f#@* off

(23 Posts)
ThePrisonerOfAzkaban Sat 05-Apr-14 18:39:06

I'm 17 weeks pregnant, and been rather rubbish with sickness so far, hospitalised 5 times so far. I know with work this isn't ideal but im currently in hospital again and have been since weds told work as soon as I ill and that I couldn't make a night shift on Fri night, that I was in hospital and I would let them know as soon as I was out. But they have been phoning about 5 times a day, countless emails asking when I will be back at work saying that it is unexceptional. They know I'm pregnant and have been rather horrid, I work in care - private and the chap I look after is 24. He's said things like I I hope you die then I can find a new carer along side other things; they have refused to do a risk assessment and I think they are just trying to get rid of me so they don't have to pay mat pay. But I could just tell him to fuck off and leave me alone till at least I'm out of hospital!

Jolleigh Sat 05-Apr-14 18:55:01

Are you part of a union who can intervene on your behalf? They can't do anything by way of getting rid of you over pregnancy related sickness.

C3P0 Sun 06-Apr-14 01:46:55

That level of abuse (unless it's a mental health issue) is grounds for constructive dismissal. Just get signed off sick for an appropriate period.

Financeprincess Sun 06-Apr-14 07:57:32

Who are 'work'? Is it a private care company?

magpiegin Sun 06-Apr-14 08:17:32

Do you have a fit note? If so, get one straight away- sounds like they would sign you off straight away. They legally have to do a risk assessment. Do your company have an HR dept? If not, I would speak to the citizens advice.

They should not be treating you like this. They are taking the piss and you do not have to stand for it.

wheresthelight Sun 06-Apr-14 08:24:17

They are taking the piss!! By law they have to dona risk assessment so i would speak to cab or someone with health and safety experience because I think you can refuse to work if the situation puts you at risk.

My work were awful to me during pregnancy and tried all sorts to do me for gross misconduct so they could fire me! Unfortunately a work related injury resulted in their own doctor signing me off for whole pregnancy as they refused to put me in a role that wouldn't effect the injury. Back fired big time!!

Get some legal advice and make sure your hg is certified by your GP or consultant sobthat you are covered!

And yes tell them politely to bugger off and leave you alone while you are in hospital. They are not allowed legally to harass you whilst you are off sick.

Rauma Sun 06-Apr-14 08:35:06

Take copies and screenshots and save them somewhere you personally control, try to ensure most communications are done in writing too.

Evidence should you later need it, works both ways so ensure any written comms from you is reasonable.

gordyslovesheep Sun 06-Apr-14 08:51:12


what they are doing is harrassment - telling you he hopes you die - WTAF - get legal advice now!

MammaTJ Sun 06-Apr-14 10:44:43

Is it a private individual or an agency?

If a private individual I understand the angst they are expressing a little more. After all, you are leaving them without care.

They should have contingency plans though and it is their fault if they do not!

Supercosy Sun 06-Apr-14 11:00:54

That is awful, you poor thing. You are being harrassed and also abused by the person you are trying to care for. Get legal advice and concentrate on getting better, this is completely unacceptable.

SugarplumKate Sun 06-Apr-14 11:01:54

They really must do a risk assessment - presumably your job involves lifting etc if you are a carer. Also night work could be an issue if you are suffering from severe sickness. Speak to the cab if you have no HR dept. I do hope you feel better soon.

SugarplumKate Sun 06-Apr-14 11:06:41

Also please keep notes/copies of phone calls/texts etc. I took my previous employer (county council!!) to an employment tribunal for unfair dismissal, sex discrimination and disability discrimination (a lot was surrounding my pregnancy) and I won. My employer made me redundant just before 24 weeks so I missed any maternity pay and I was no allowed to apply for my own job which was moved to another location a mile away amongst other things. I ended up in hospital during early pregnancy due to the stress I think, the manager and school head were being so horrible so you have my every sympathy.x

RainbowSpiral Sun 06-Apr-14 11:07:46

Poor you. I would block all the work related numbers until you feel better

slartybartfast Sun 06-Apr-14 11:08:00

dont tell him to F$"K off though op.

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban Sun 06-Apr-14 16:07:58

It's a private home ie the chap I look after had his own annexe of his mum's and dads house. His mum is supposed to do the back up care, however his family see him as a pain and don't treat him too fairly, which now I'm getting the brunt of. They spent about £1000 on his sisters 22nd birthday but for his 24th all he got was tracksuit bottoms and rugby tops from sainsbury - nothing else, so I know it must be hard for him.
The job requires hosting on my own at times with no else present in the house and the use of any other moving equipment is impossible as if they given anything they refuse to use it at home and hide it away. Keeping a record of all contact as I think I will need it.

ConfusedPixie Sun 06-Apr-14 16:45:11

Are you hired through an agency or directly from the family? I am assuming the latter? In which case, you really need to speak to CAB as soon as you can.

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban Sun 06-Apr-14 16:57:11

By the family, but they do employ 4 careers in total and his mum is also on the payroll which makes 5. I think somewhere with it being 5 people employed it makes some sort of difference?

GeordieJellybean Sun 06-Apr-14 17:04:43

Sounds like an awful
Situation OP. I'd speak to CAB as you should legally have a pregnancy RA in place etc.
However, I would be careful what information you put about your client on here as you're at risk of breaking confidentiality.

glammanana Sun 06-Apr-14 17:05:59

My DDs friend has control of the working care of her brother and is governed under SS guidelines and has to treat carers in the same way as any other employee,so please take your concerns to CAB and they may direct you to a more experienced person within SS,do it as soon as you can and also get yourself signed off sick from your Doctor to stop any more harressment.sorry can't be of more help.

glammanana Sun 06-Apr-14 17:07:22

Woops just forgot to say as far as I know it is against HS laws to only have one person available to use equipment must always have two present.

magpiegin Sun 06-Apr-14 19:59:55

I would ask to get this thread deleted. It wouldn't take much for people to put two and two together and you could get into trouble for posting this.

I would seriously speak to the CAB though.

myroomisatip Sun 06-Apr-14 20:18:19

Yep. It is against the law to use a hoist unless there are two people present. You need to get legal advice.

And congratulations on your pregnancy, hope you feel better soon. flowers

RandomMess Sun 06-Apr-14 20:22:33

Who is the payroll through? I think those on the direct payment scheme have to use some sort of agency and they would know your rights etc.

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