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AIBU?

to have expected dp to have toughed it out until he got another job

13 replies

Aoifebelle · 04/04/2014 19:55

So, bit of background. DP tough background. Mum who made some pretty selfish decisions, like following a man to portugal to live in a shack with three kids in tow in his gcse year. DP probably came out least scathed. Siblings both functioning heroin addicts. However he is really bright, but hasn't had the best chances in life and the chances he has had, he fucked up. As a result he is pushing 40 and his only work experience is cheffing in kitchens and he is very frustrated. He moved in about 18 months ago. Last year he had about 6 mos no work. It made him miserable and took its toll on our relationship. In nov he got a job in a local new cafe. All went wellfora while, but stuff not great at the cafe. They wouldn't give him a contract, they were often left selling alcohol with no licensee on the ppremesis, the owner took a sudden 2 week holiday to thailamd at the same time the asst manager was off, electrics failed, DP was left to sort it as best he could. Final straw she comes back and refuses to pay him the hours he worked. DP quit on the spot. AIBU to think he should have toughed it out until he got another job? If I hated my job I just wohldnt have the option of quitting I have bills to pay.

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CSIJanner · 04/04/2014 19:59

I actually think YABU.

The owner has taken the piss and now refuses to pay him for work done. By quitting, he's standing up for himself. He worked and didn't get paid. If he carried on working, waiting in hope, what next trick would she pull out to take advantage and the piss? Sometimes, you just have to quit. Your DH de died this time was one them.

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beanella · 04/04/2014 20:02

YABU in this case as she isn't paying him what he ought to be paid. However, YANBU to want him to take some responsibility and it perhaps would have made sense for him to find another job when it became clear that this was a dodgy venture that would probably not be able to deliver on providing him with a secure full tme job.

Good luck to you both.

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syne · 04/04/2014 20:05

It is hard to stand by your principles and balance the needs of life.
It seems he was being taken for a mug by the owner, so would you want that to continue and once someone take the proverbial it does tend to snowball.
Why are they were refusing to pay? was it to do with the way he handled the situation, money for electrician etc?
He should at the very least take them to small claims/tribunal for the money owed for work done and I'd also claim constructive dismissal to boot.

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Caitlin17 · 04/04/2014 20:06

Firstly I would not have picked your DP as a DP and secondly it's a long time since I did licensing work (and it was in Scotland) but finally I have a vague recollection there needs be a licence holder present so if he was being asked to work in conditions where he was breaching licensing law it's by far one of his better decisions.

And fourthly docking wages/ holding back wages is almost always illegal.

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heatseeker14 · 04/04/2014 20:08

It sounded like it was a really shit job, which unfortunately came at a really bad time.
If they refused to give him a contract and then they refused to pay him, I think he was better off out of there.
I hope that he finds something else very soon and that this has not knocked his confidence.

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Aoifebelle · 04/04/2014 20:17

Cheers all. She refused to pay as she simply didn't believe the hours he logged (he has a cliff richard calendar in our kitchen on which he logs his hours daily, she was away for half the month and doesn't log hours at all.)
DP got electrician round, who pointed out that a) there was no meter and b) the electrics were fucked. He worked on them for a day and couldn't fix them and make them safe. Cost a bucket.


Caitlin hear what you are sayin about choices in partner. Ain't what I thought I would end up with, but all the fundamentals are there in spades. Wouldn't swap him.

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Topaz25 · 04/04/2014 20:27

It doesn't sound like a real job if he had no contract and they weren't paying him properly! It sounds like they were taking advantage. That put him in a difficult situation with no employee protection. What if he had been injured at work? Kitchens can be dangerous and his employer was probably as conscientious about health and safety as they were about everything else- a recipe for disaster! In his situation I would have quit too. I can understand your concerns but it's not like he left a reliable job or wage. Hopefully now he's not doing his boss's job for free he'll be able to find something better!

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Pumpkinpositive · 04/04/2014 20:42

Final straw she comes back and refuses to pay him the hours he worked. DP quit on the spot. AIBU to think he should have toughed it out until he got another job? If I hated my job I just wohldnt have the option of quitting I have bills to pay.

How does that work if your boss refuses to pay you for the hours you've worked?? Shock

Of course he'd be better off on the dole, which is at least a guaranteed income, until he finds a new job.

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Caitlin17 · 04/04/2014 20:54

Btw if you are employee you always have a contract. If it's not in writing (and failure to provide a written note of the terms of employment is a breach) then the statutory terms apply as default.

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Aoifebelle · 04/04/2014 20:55

DP has donned the jumper I bought him for christmas. He fucking hates that jumper. True sign of contrition. Thanks all, nice to get some perspective.

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PurpleSwift · 04/04/2014 20:56

I think YABU. He clearly didn't have a proper contract and if they are that arsey, what's to say they'll pay him for any future work?. It sounds like a huge mess. Honestly, he would be better off on JSA. Regular income while he searches for work. And tbh, if your OH is pushing 40, he has had more than enough time to further his education/qualification etc. .

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Caitlin17 · 04/04/2014 20:58

I would have quit in those circumstances
and I have almost no sympathy for people refusing work.

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unlucky83 · 04/04/2014 21:03

After 2 months, he should have been given a 'written statement of employment' .
www.gov.uk/employment-contracts-and-conditions/written-statement-of-employment-particulars

I would get him to talk to ACAS
www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461

Not sure what happens as he hasn't worked there for 2 yrs etc though
...and if he tries to claim JSA they might be interested too...
She might be doing a whole lot of other dodgy stuff ...VAT and PAYE etc

He shouldn't have walked - kept his temper and found out his rights first...but I know that is easier said than done...

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