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to think this was a little OTT?

(111 Posts)
aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:02:49

Picking DS up from nursery last night and another Mum was there collecting her DD. She had her 5 yr old DS with her.
Her DS said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" (there are lifts and stairs).

Now I would have replied along the lines of Yes lets go.

She however said "Now is that a command or a request hmm?"
Her DS "A request Mummy"
Her " And how do we phrase a request properly hmmm?"
Her DS "Mummy may we go up the stairs please?"
Her "Now that's much better, I will listen to you know you are speaking properly"

Me and DH were just stood there looking at each other thinking WTAF??
Then I was thinking - was that OTT or am I just really common to think it was??!

ItsAFuckingVase Fri 04-Apr-14 18:14:22

I think Tilly's posts were a perfect example of someone who saps the joy out of other people. Utterly bizzare!

Nothing wrong with teaching your child to talk properly, but there was nothing at all wrong with what the boy said in the first place. And at 5 I'd have thought it a positive thing to be making polite suggestions anyway???

Comeatmefam Fri 04-Apr-14 18:13:36

So many people have missed the point. Most of us on this thread believe in manners and teaching children manners. What this woman did was get her son to say something in a very odd, stilted way when it was not a situation to need permission. As others have said he needs permission to climb the stairs? Or phrase it in such a way!

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 17:17:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter Fri 04-Apr-14 16:47:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 16:46:02

I am glad I'm not the only one. I am baffled now. I realise Tilly went off on a tangent due to her own experiences , but now the contact thing?

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Fri 04-Apr-14 16:42:14

The way this thread has evolved has completely flummoxed me.

BeverleyMoss Fri 04-Apr-14 16:31:50

what's contact got to do with it?

I am more confused than ever now. I'm out.

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 16:26:31


Joysmum Fri 04-Apr-14 16:06:59

OP as a parent yourself I'd hope you'd understand about contact being important. Perhaps you'd do well to remember that the next time you judge based on a snippet although of course there are many people who love to feel superior and don't judge others as they'd hope to be themselves

Normalisavariantofcrazy Fri 04-Apr-14 15:02:00


I always say 'erm what words missing' when the kids ask for something and expect the gap to be filled with a please

Gruntfuttock Fri 04-Apr-14 15:00:16

sezamcgregor So you would have corrected your DS had he said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" would you? That's talking properly as far as I'm concerned so doesn't need any correcting.

sezamcgregor Fri 04-Apr-14 14:57:00

I think you may be talking about me!!

I make my DS "talk properly" all of the time.

Gruntfuttock Fri 04-Apr-14 14:30:26

Sorry, I should have added that I do feel sorry for the little boy because in no way was he being rude or demanding and it seems a bit of a harsh way to be talking to such a young child that hadn't said anything that needed correcting. That little bit of sympathy for the little boy has nothing whatsoever to do with having sympathy for the children bullied for speech impediments. Having sympathy/empathy for one thing doesn't mean you have no sympathy/empathy for anything else that children may go through.

BeverleyMoss Fri 04-Apr-14 14:30:02

of course no-one thinks this is the worse thing that can happen to a child,
don't be ridiculous.

We are talking about OTT and for some laughable parenting, not bullying.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 14:28:56

Best news I've had all day is that you're giving up on this thread Tilly grin

TillyTellTale Fri 04-Apr-14 14:26:26

I give up.

It has to do with this thread, because either you are adults without any grips, who truly think the worst that can happen in this area to a child is a bit of may I-ing. In which

Or, this is just the age-old "loud parenting" dislike, and people will do absolutely fuck-all if witnessing a child being bullied. And you will continue to sneer at "Wossy" and simultaneously feel pleased you don't "sap" spirits with the use of a perfectly good modal verb.

Gruntfuttock Fri 04-Apr-14 14:23:38

Surely the point is that a little boy of 5 saying "Mummy let's go up the stairs" hadn't done anything to deserve a po-faced lecture about commands and requests. It was OTT imo.

BeverleyMoss Fri 04-Apr-14 14:21:19

sorry are you saying we shouldn't be discussing or criticising the manner in which a parent is 'teaching' their child to speak while there are children being bullied for speech difficulties?

that's a bit like insisting no-one says 'I'm Starving!' when there are actual people starving in the world.

TillyTellTale Fri 04-Apr-14 14:20:03

Beverley I can assure you that at five, I was fine with being asked to try "may I" instead of can. And I don't think it was because I'd been desensitised to speech criticism. It hadn't started yet for me.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 14:20:02

What has this got to do with this thread confused

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 14:19:20

I don't doubt what you are saying Tilly but I am struggling to see what any of it has to do with this thread.

TillyTellTale Fri 04-Apr-14 14:17:55

How clearly can I put it?

Having the physical shit being kicked out of you at age 11, by three boys, who you'd never met before because they heard you speak? That's sapping.

Having your friends' parents (they'd be on MN today) giggling at you and asking you to "repeat that" so they can snigger some more? That's sapping.

Being frightened to say anything because your class sniggers at you for saying wope for rope? That's dampening.

BeverleyMoss Fri 04-Apr-14 14:14:39


And in principle I do think it's spirit dampening when a five year old, who has made a perfectly polite request, is reprimanded and made to repose the request. Yes, I do.

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 14:13:15

What? confused

TillyTellTale Fri 04-Apr-14 14:12:27

sparklingbrook Nothing like dampening a child's spirit.
FryFatManiac ^ If these children get these lectures all the time, it's going to sap their spirit.^
Sparklingbrook The sad thing is that he probably won't even bother suggesting it next time because he knows he will get a lecture.

These are the problems in the thread. So much about a woman wanting "may" instead of "let's". Where is this attitude when children with even a tiny problem with R's are getting bullied?

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