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to think this was a little OTT?

(111 Posts)
aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:02:49

Picking DS up from nursery last night and another Mum was there collecting her DD. She had her 5 yr old DS with her.
Her DS said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" (there are lifts and stairs).

Now I would have replied along the lines of Yes lets go.

She however said "Now is that a command or a request hmm?"
Her DS "A request Mummy"
Her " And how do we phrase a request properly hmmm?"
Her DS "Mummy may we go up the stairs please?"
Her "Now that's much better, I will listen to you know you are speaking properly"

Me and DH were just stood there looking at each other thinking WTAF??
Then I was thinking - was that OTT or am I just really common to think it was??!

DontCareAboutYourShoes Fri 04-Apr-14 11:03:42

It mi

DontCareAboutYourShoes Fri 04-Apr-14 11:04:11

Try again.

It might be OTT and it might not. You can't judge a child and their parent in such a small snapshot.

Ploppy16 Fri 04-Apr-14 11:05:53

She was wrong anyway, it was obviously a suggestion so that little lecture was a bit pointless...
It was OTT though, unless she was getting fed up with a lack of manners.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:08:11

I didn't think I was judging - just making a comment really smile

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Fri 04-Apr-14 11:08:53

fair play to her, she is teaching her child manners

CoffeeTea103 Fri 04-Apr-14 11:09:34

At least she's teaching her child manners

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:10:16

It was probably for your benefit. grin

Comeatmefam Fri 04-Apr-14 11:11:18


Sounds nuts - and loud parenty

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:11:22

I've seen both her children nearly every day for a year and they are always really polite. So I suspect lack of manners isn't something she sees regularly from her kids, but I could be wrong.
But yes I was thinking it was a suggestion rather than a command or a request too.

drinkyourmilk Fri 04-Apr-14 11:11:56

I think it depends. If her son has been particularly rude or has been issuing demands of late, she's simply trying to teach manners.

DontCareAboutYourShoes Fri 04-Apr-14 11:12:06

Pretty sure you said you thought it was OTT. That's judging grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:12:29

By the time they had had that ridiculous exchange they could have been up the stairs. she sounds hard work.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:12:48

I absolutely agree that children need to be taught manners and am very strict with this too, but I did think this was a bit much.

Ploppy16 Fri 04-Apr-14 11:13:24

Thing is if you were reinforcing manners wouldn't you just say something like 'ask nicely please' rather than going into full lecture loud parenting mode? Or have I been doing it wrong?

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:13:25

i would have loved the son to have said 'a command'. grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:13:59

All wrong Ploppy, if other people are around. wink

Ploppy16 Fri 04-Apr-14 11:14:55

Too lazy to loud parent...

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:15:23

DontCareAboutYourShoes fair point grin

Fullpleatherjacket Fri 04-Apr-14 11:15:25

She intended you to notice and marvel and you have.

Game over grin

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Fri 04-Apr-14 11:15:32

I suspect lack of manners isn't something she sees regularly from her kids

...because she will not allow it?

I hope I can be bothered to do this with my DS when he is old enough.

Late Fri 04-Apr-14 11:15:52

What both *sparklingbrook workingmummy*said!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 04-Apr-14 11:16:07

Fair enough! Nothing worse than rude children. If mine want something no matter what it is they can ask me for it properly. Plus you don't know if she's had a morning with uber brat. I'm with this woman YABU!

PumpkinsMummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:18:38

it depends on the background I think. At the moment my DS (3) is quite rude and bossy to me and I won't put up with it. I pull him up on it and remind him he has to say "please may I" etc as it's good manners, and it's how we speak to him so we expect the same in return. Perhaps he is similar at home and she is reminding him, may seem pedantic in this instance but she would have to consistently inforce it for it to work. Although as PP pointed out, it was an idea rather than an order so she was wrong too.

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:18:53

Nothing like dampening a child's spirit. His only crime was to suggest going up the stairs. I bet she doesn't let him press the button at a crossing or anything like that.

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