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To think that if children were told that actually, sometimes it's ok to hit back, we might not have such a huge bullying issue in this country?

(152 Posts)
wannaBe Thu 03-Apr-14 15:42:13

So bullying is on the increase, and it seems that in truth, very little can or is being done about it.

We bring up our children to know that violence – all violence - is wrong. So if a child is bullying another child by hitting, kicking, etc etc we tell our children to walk away. hmm and because no-one likes a grass, it is almost seen as unacceptable to tell someone you’re being bullied. So bullied child fears the reaction of the playground if they tell on the bully, and if the bullied child dares to hit back then it is him/her who gets the punishment when actually, hitting back is nothing more than self defence.

Bullies are generally cowards. So if someone stands up to them by hitting them back they will often back off.

So perhaps it’s time we stopped being so very correct about all this and accepted that actually, it’s perfectly ok, a good idea even, if sometimes a child stands up for themselves and hits back. And that if a bully has been habitually violent to others, it’s no more than they deserve if they get back what they’ve been giving out.

School bullying policies are clearly ineffectual. Young teen still commit suicide because they’re being bullied. Children are under more pressure than ever to fit in, and part of that is not speaking out because that makes you a grass in the eyes of your peers.

There is something very wrong with a world which often advocates giving children certain clothing labels/gadgets/material goods in order to prevent bullying, yet comes down hard on the bullied who fights back.

hackmum Sat 05-Apr-14 13:44:29

I don't think bullying is on the increase. I think bullying has always been rife in schools.

I think some schools are much better at dealing with it than others. My DD's primary school was very good, for example - when another girl in her class was bullied, the bullies were hauled in front of the head, the parents were called in, words were had, and the bullying stopped. (The head, incidentally, could be absolutely terrifying when she was angry - never shouted but had a steely calm which was very scary.)

At DD's secondary school, bullies were generally mollycoddled, given pathetic punishments (like a lunchtime detention) and then given achievement awards if they managed to go a couple of weeks without thumping anyone.

mummytime Sat 05-Apr-14 17:00:43

"Nobody has yet addressed the three key questions begged by the OP

1. Is bullying on the increase?
2. Are bullies usually cowards?
3. Are anti bullying policies ineffectual?"
Not in my experience.
Not if they are the right ones.

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