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to say no to someone having their ironing done in my house

(31 Posts)
trackies Thu 03-Apr-14 13:43:23

I have a friend who works full time (not close friend/more of an acquaintance type friend). We have the same cleaner. She is having alot of work done on her house and her DH and my cleaner have asked on several occasions whether their ironing can be done at my house.
I have said yes a few times, but this results in me having to coordinate with the cleaner, let her in, make her tea, then keep my child away from the iron, instead of me being able to get on with my work and non-work tasks (I work from home). Our cleaner does not currently any ironing for us as I can't afford it and I dont want to be wasting time keeping my kids away from iron.
I have 2 SN kids, am drowning in work, appointments, laundry, admin. My DH works full-time. So I said no to the last request, and made it clear to our cleaner that I would be saying no to any future requests (cleaner was fine with this).
Friends DH is a SAHD, so I feel that he should be able to iron, should the cleaner be unable to iron on a particular day due to work they have planned.
I think they are a lovely couple, but she is now giving me the cold shoulder, which i feel is very unreasonable. Her DH is fine with me.

expatinscotland Thu 03-Apr-14 13:45:36

YANBU. This isn't your problem and with SN kids, it's dangerous.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 03-Apr-14 13:45:49

Yanbu I wouldn't worry about it too much. Her DH is at home so why can't they solve their issues in their own home. If friends behave this way over such petty things you really are better of without them. She's being quite cheeky actually.

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 03-Apr-14 13:46:46

No, of course not! Ignore - she's trespassed on your kindness too often.

Feminine Thu 03-Apr-14 13:46:50

This situation is not your responsibility.

You have done your fair share.

Without children with SN, it would be a pain...with well, it is just not fair for you.

I don't have advice on how to tell her, apart you just 'go for it' IYSWIM.

sorry. Tricky for you.

Shesparkles Thu 03-Apr-14 13:48:35

Why can't the cleaner take it to her own home to do it then return it?

WorraLiberty Thu 03-Apr-14 13:48:55

That's so weird.

Unless someone's ripped the entire roof off their house, why can't the cleaner find at least one room to iron in?

YANBU to say no, although again if she ironed in a separate room to your kids, safety wouldn't be a problem.

Forago Thu 03-Apr-14 13:51:42

That would really bug me and I would have said no from the outset. Why can't they pay the cleaner to take it to her house? Of pay an external ironing service?

MammaTJ Thu 03-Apr-14 13:53:51


The cleaner could maybe take the ironing home and they could pay her extra accordingly.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Thu 03-Apr-14 13:55:06

YANBU, why should you have to pay for them to have their ironing done (I am guessing they haven't reimbursed you for the electricity?) and be put out by them?
Why has the cleaner not taken the laundry to her house to do it? Surely that is a more logical idea than upsetting her other clients by doing it at their homes.
The couple have a few options, none of which involve you being inconvenienced. Like doing it themselves for a few weeks, taking it to a relatives house and doing it there, hiring an ironing service for a few weeks, going to a laundrette with facilities to iron etc. If the cleaner is not happy with loosing the ironing she could offer to do it at her home (and increase her bill to cover electricity and inconvenience).

expatinscotland Thu 03-Apr-14 13:59:18

Ever seen how fast the leccy meter spins when you have the iron on?

AMumInScotland Thu 03-Apr-14 14:00:22

YANBU. Your 'friend' sounds like a right pain, if she gives you the cold shoulder for not taking responsibility for her problems when there are plenty of other options available to her.

She doesn't sound much of a loss if she stays in a huff...

Aeroflotgirl Thu 03-Apr-14 14:05:11

Yanbu she has taken advantage of your kindness, say no it's not convenient any more.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 03-Apr-14 14:06:55

Just read tge bottom bit, she is giving you the cold shoulder shock what an entitled Madame. She does not sound much of a loss tbh.

mameulah Thu 03-Apr-14 14:10:36


summertimeandthelivingiseasy Thu 03-Apr-14 14:12:49

Once or twice is doing a favour.

After that, it is taking liberties. Especially since it is putting you out and costing you.

Can they not just fold stuff until the house is back in order, like the rest of us?

skinnyflatwhitetogo Thu 03-Apr-14 14:49:32

YANBU. Don't let it get to you. It's her loss. She cutting off a friend who has done her a favour!! Bonkers, and she'll soon realise that.

CeliaFate Thu 03-Apr-14 14:53:06

She sounds like an entitled twonk. I think it was a cheeky request of theirs from the start - that sort of person always thinks of themselves 1st, 2nd and 3rd and can't see how cheeky they are.

trackies Thu 03-Apr-14 15:31:23

thanks to all of you. DH said it's ok to do a favour if it doesn't put us out, but he's never the one who gets caught up in it or inconvenienced as he's either in his study or at work.

NorwegianBirdhouse Thu 03-Apr-14 18:50:04

No way should you put up with that on a regular basis. Firstly, you can't fully relax when you have someone else in your house and secondly, it is your electricity. She was very cheeky to ask you. Glad you told her no in the end.

Atbeckandcall Thu 03-Apr-14 18:54:50

YANBU, and who the fudge is paying for your electricity?

Sorry if someone's already asked.

CatThiefKeith Thu 03-Apr-14 19:00:35

Wow, yadnbu, cheeky cah!

VenusDeWillendorf Thu 03-Apr-14 19:05:44

Trackers, you need to prioritise your own needs.

Tell your friend it isn't working out and that your cleaner can't do this ironing in your house anymore as it isn't working out for you.

It's easy to let resentment build untill you're ready to explode, but it might be the first she's heard of your issues, so just tell her it isn't working out for you, and leave it at that.

No need to get all het up, or describe the situation in detail to her. Just say it's not working out anymore for you.

Hugs to you, you sound like you've got a lot on your plate.

stackablegoatbearingcheesecake Thu 03-Apr-14 20:09:17

As said above why doesn't the cleaner do the ironing at her own house?
I really don't get why on earth they'd ask a third party for use of their private home?

2sugarsmeans3 Thu 03-Apr-14 20:26:13

YANBU at all. FFS she can find one clean room in their house to do it surely! How odd. Stick to your guns OP. Who cares if she gives you the cold shoulder, the oddball.

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