Hi there....my wife after an 8 year relationship sadly said she was done. We were married for 3 years and we have 2 boys together 3 and 6 plus a 12yo girl from my wifes previous relationship.
I have always treated them exactly the same and love them all individually.....however the stepdaughter is exceptionally close to her mum as my wife brought her up on their own live on their own from when she was a baby until she was 4.
I moved out of the family home that I built for us 2 years ago as the atmosphere was getting ridiculous. She said either I left or she would.....She is now going to rent a house near her Dad and she moves in approx. early May.
We have made arrangments for shared custody so at the minute I have the kids every other weekend plus they stay Tuesdays......However during all these negotaiations / talks etc my wife only ever refers to "the boys"
She does not seem keen (although she would never admit this) for me to have my daughter over....She says the daughter is old enough to decide whether she wants to come over which I totally agree with.
So in the last 3 weeks I have only seen her a caouple of times and the only night magically she was vailable was when when wife was going out with her friends on a Saturday night.....This really peeved me off because all the other times I asked to see her she was unavailable she is when it suits my wife.
Over the last 3 days I have texted her to say on Sunday "Goodnight love Dad" - No reply - and also left her a voice mail on Monday saying I have the boys stopping over on Tuesday Night and obviously you are always invited - NO reply......plus I texted her on Tuesday morning inviting her again - No reply.........plus Tuesday Night "Goodnight hope you had a nice day xxx" - No reply
I am sure she is mixed up and upset with her parents splitting up. I probably don't really understand what she is going through, but I have reassured her a few weeks ago face to face saying " I love you , I will always be there for you if you need me, you are exactly the same to me as the 2 boys please believe me"
However over the years when me and my wife have fallen out I have been poked with the stick thst "she will never be your daughter"......ouch and I think this in time has crept into my stepdaughters head a little bit.
She thinks she is not as important to me as the boys but this feeling is fed a little bit by her mother......as she only ever talks about me "and the boys"
I love my wife and would do absolutely anything to get her back however I am just giving her 100% total space while I concentrate on looking after myself and more importantly my children (all 3 ideally)..I am trying to prepare myself that we will never get back together although this is terrible and I have spent quite a few mornings crying about it I can tell you. Each day so far is absolute AGONY!!!!!!!! I miss them all so much.
However in the meantime what do I do if anything about my stepdaughter. Does she need time to readjust ????Should I stop contacting her so much????? I just want to make her know she IS VERY important to me and I a have always treated her EXACTLY AS ONE OF MY OWN....Surely everyone needs a Dad but because she is so close to her Mum and maybe feels guilty about leaving her I just think I am going to lose her.
Can anyone help me.........thanks
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How To Connest With StepDaughter After Seperation????
39 replies
rb512022 · 03/04/2014 10:37
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