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To think this site is so popular because 'we' like a fight/aversion therapy.

(16 Posts)
aquashiv Wed 02-Apr-14 21:22:12

Nothing wrong with that is there?. We are not a touchy feely bunch of sycophants but sometimes I read some of the messages and think Jeez you really only said that to rail them or to get your anger out. Better than kicking the cat I guess or asking for a pay rise.
Rant on...

DontCareAboutYourShoes Wed 02-Apr-14 23:54:51

I think this section is so popular with SOME people because they have shit lives and use it to take out their rage.

It's also popular because some posters give really helpful advice and help people determine whether they actually are BU.

BillyBanter Thu 03-Apr-14 00:04:17

I like it because of the funny threads, being able to give advice if I can, the window into other's lives and who knows what els.

I don't like it for fighting and angry posts. If I post an angry post it's because I'm angry about the subject matter, not because I've had a shit day at work.

Morloth Thu 03-Apr-14 00:05:48

I enjoy arguing on the internet - it's fun.

DontCareAboutYourShoes Thu 03-Apr-14 00:06:38

No it's not.

wink

lessonsintightropes Thu 03-Apr-14 00:07:15

It's rare that AIBU rankles me - I go through phases when something has really upset me and I just step away from the site for a few weeks. Mostly it's hilarious and enlightening, and lots of people are very helpful and nice.

Eebahgum Thu 03-Apr-14 04:28:34

I agree that the number of fights is minimal whereas the number of giggles or heart warming supportive threads is huge.

thebody Thu 03-Apr-14 07:48:14

aquashhiv you kick your cat?

now you are going to start WW3.. grin

it's great for fun, friendly support and the odd skirmish if a poster is being a complete tosser I.e disagreeing with me ha ha

there is one around at the moment but generally it's a good place.

maggiemight Thu 03-Apr-14 07:55:32

As long as everyone is a regular it's fine. So then you know that someone responding to a thread with a rant is probably clearing some feelings from an event in their life that made them feel equally upset. So you can read and move on.

I have learned hell a lot about life here and am more sympathetic about many issues other people have to face. And it has nearly cured me of making quick ripostes about something I know nothing about grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 03-Apr-14 08:00:13

I hate hate fighting on here. But will always speak out if find something unfair.

I believe some people lash out and give OP a kicking because they are unhappy/drunk/hormental, yes. Or they think they are funny because they are joined by fellow tosseurs.

Mignonette Thu 03-Apr-14 08:07:49

I do think that people complaining that we need the 'hide poster' or 'hide thread' function have a bit of confirmation bias going in. If you only post on contentious threads or boards then you will be more likely to get bitten. You will then see Mumsnet as predominately adversarial or aggressive.

There are thousands of threads that don't turn into a bunfight on here.

Nennypops Thu 03-Apr-14 08:51:57

I find it interesting in terms of the simple dynamics. I notice that what quite often happens is that, when a thread is started, the first couple of posters dive in, sometimes without thinking it through too carefully, and usually expressing strong opinions either in favour of or against the OP. Then several more follow in their footsteps saying more or less the same thing in different ways. After a bit, some brave soul pipes up and says "Actually, I don't agree" and explains herself. A couple more join in saying "Phew, I thought I was the only one," and opinion starts going the other way. Some people following the original line come back, but are then quite robustly challenged, and you may well find that ultimately the weight of opinion on the thread swings right round the other way.

I'm no sociologist, and I don't know whether it's down to mass suggestion, people being scared to disagree with what seems to be the weight of opinion, or what - but I'm sure some academic could make a fascinating study out of it.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 03-Apr-14 09:00:27

of course there is nothing wrong with debating and at times it will get heated as the subjects are often emotive

I find the dynamics interesting too a few posters or one of the more popular poster coming on with their opinion will often change a threads direction as many will follow

you can see different personalities playing out, the ones that like order and rules, the ones that like to give advice, the ones that do not like the changes, the ones that like to be confrontational, the ones that like to sit on the fence, the crowd pleasers it all makes mn more interesting

Minnieisthedevilmouse Thu 03-Apr-14 09:01:55

It's just people are sheep. Follow one opinion then see a better one and jump on that one. Which is why it's often contradictory, IMO anyway.

I like it. It's open to all. No boundaries. Freedom.

All this angst about hide that hide the other hide a poster hide a subject is narrowing and makes me think far less of people than more.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Thu 03-Apr-14 09:03:52

It's also always the same ones suggesting the others are got rid of.... That's also noteworthy.... In a sad way

LtEveDallas Thu 03-Apr-14 09:08:15

I don't think it's necessarily the "site", more the topic AIBU. I tend to avoid it where possible, and only get sucked in by interesting sounding titles (damn you OP!)

In a way I think avoiding AIBU actually makes me notice the asshole posters in other topics. Maybe if I was an AIBU veteran I would be more 'acclimatised' to the way some people post. I've definitely been left feeling like a pearl clutcher at times, when others haven't been shocked at what I thought was pure venom.

Do love a good ruck and rant, but not when it gets personal or abusive.

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