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AIBU to not want to see grown adults defecate in the park?

(224 Posts)
ResponsibleAdult Wed 02-Apr-14 20:52:34

This evening. Lovely mild, light, spring evening, decide to go for a gentle stroll in the park with DD and dogs. See charming young couple walking hand in hand in front of us, no small children, no special needs, no mobility issues. "Ah, loves young dream" I think.

Shortly, the couple separate and walk slowly in different directions. "Ah, going to pose for a softly backlit photo to show their romance blossoming" I think.

Couple remain, separated but squatting in bushes. "Ah a simple game of hide and seek to show spontaneous nature of loves young dream" I naively think hmm.

On approaching, as walking the dogs, I am able to see she has her trousers down and is weeing/pooing in the bushes. Turn back to see squatting shatting boyfriend is now standing and weeing against a tree.

shock angry angry angry I got the rage.

Me loudest voice with tone of righteous indignation "EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet 100metres over there" I was ignored, and given a shrug of the shoulders by little Miss Holly Golightly.

So I repeat, my volume rising "EXCUSE ME? There is a public toilet, that is OPEN just over there. I suggest you go and use it as I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BARE ARSE!". Point at Golum boy, and repeat same phrase.

Loves young dream ( Golum boy and Golightly) pull up their trousers and shuffle off, muttering "alright! alright" under their breath. Was it a dare, a FB craze, a bizarre fetish, extreme sport dogging???? I don't care.

DD gives me a grin, I give her a wink, we carry on our walk.


LaurieFairyCake Wed 02-Apr-14 20:53:42

It's a sex thing

People are fucking weird

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 02-Apr-14 20:55:03


What kind of sex thing is it? I've heard of scat fetishists but don't they usually poo on each other?

formerbabe Wed 02-Apr-14 20:55:38

Noooo! Lauriefairycake... Are you serious?!

ResponsibleAdult Wed 02-Apr-14 20:56:10

I did wonder, they had to walk past the loo to get into the park, it was a 20 second dash if you were caught short. What is with people???????

ResponsibleAdult Wed 02-Apr-14 20:58:19

Scatologists and glass coffee tables I had heard of but didn't believe, but to separate off from each other, but be in a completely public place ??

Just why?

DameFanny Wed 02-Apr-14 20:59:31

Yabu for posting this in AIBU instead of just starting a dirty fuckers thread in chat. [prim]

Sex thing? Really? Thank fuck I'm old and married...

LiberalLibertine Wed 02-Apr-14 21:02:57

So,Gollum did a shit, then stood up for a wee? Is this normal? ignores fact none of this is fucking normal wouldn't he just wee at the same time? confused

LaurieFairyCake Wed 02-Apr-14 21:05:04

Yes they get off on watching each other do it in a park - not the same thrillometer watching at home over the loo. All the better if you can incorporate wanking each other into it or the thrill of getting caught.

At least you stopped them wanking each other while defecating grin

There's a sentence I never thought I'd have to say

LiberalLibertine Wed 02-Apr-14 21:06:31

Laurie how go you know all this? (Slightly scared of answer)

LaurieFairyCake Wed 02-Apr-14 21:08:06

There's a lot of sex stuff in couples counselling

I'm well stocked in brain bleach

Inglori0us Wed 02-Apr-14 21:10:37

Brain bleach please.

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 02-Apr-14 21:11:00

People go to couples counselling and talk about watching each other shit in a park?


ThatBloodyWoman Wed 02-Apr-14 21:13:04

How on earth can crapping in the bushes be a sex thing? shock

No,Actually don't tell me....

everlong Wed 02-Apr-14 21:13:21

Sex thing?

Fucking hell.

Binkyridesagain Wed 02-Apr-14 21:13:31

I'm now wondering how much of the dog shit people complain about is actually human crap.

WTF on getting off on watching your OH take a dump. I'm scared to ask any more but what is the turn on?

newsecretidentity Wed 02-Apr-14 21:15:30

Well, now. Every day is a school day, isn't it?

newsecretidentity Wed 02-Apr-14 21:17:30

(In that instance, I do feel it would be acceptable to allow a bouncy dog off lead to go bounding up to them, sniffing their bum and knocking them over with trousers around ankles...)

LaurieFairyCake Wed 02-Apr-14 21:17:55

Don't google it

There's also folks who meet up to do it - like a niche dogging.

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 02-Apr-14 21:19:13


LaurieFairyCake Wed 02-Apr-14 21:19:14

<awaits channel 5 to read this thread and do research for a programme on sex fetishes disguised as entertainment but really voyeurism>

CerealMom Wed 02-Apr-14 21:19:33

Bloody hell, I've lived a sheltered life.

<must get out more. But not 'that' out>

RomulanBattleBagel Wed 02-Apr-14 21:19:37

Surely they are just lazy dirty gits who couldn't be arsed to walk to the loo.

It can't be a sex thing. It just CAN'T. <rocks back and forth in corner>

StealthPolarBear Wed 02-Apr-14 21:20:32

Did they chuck a roll of charmin between them? Surely they wiped...

BadgersRetreat Wed 02-Apr-14 21:20:36

sometimes you really are better off not knowing things grin

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