DS (12 - Yr 7) spent all day yesterday in the isolation unit at school as I found out when he got home . I thought he must have done something terrible but it was apparently due to him getting 3 detentions on one day, 1 for lateness, and the other 2 for talking in 2 separate classes.
I was sent a text on Monday afternoon informing me that he had a detention so contacted the school yesterday morning to ask why as I suspected it was due to lateness the day before but that was actually due to him having an orthodontist appointment first thing on Monday morning which I had forgotten to inform the school about in advance so I just dropped him off at 09.50 with a note explaining why he was late. The school agreed to cancel the detention (I was not aware there had been 2 others issued at that point as the text just mentioned 1). DS being put in isolation was not mentioned at all.
I was quite cross about this last night as DS did not actually have 3 detentions, the other 2 that were issued seemed quite extreme as DS said he was telling other pupils to stop talking to him but he was the one who got into trouble for talking so I rang the school this morning asking to speak to the Head of Year who had decided he would be put into isolation.
The school's behaviour policy does not mention isolation being a consequence of getting 3 detentions, it mentions it being a consequence of bullying, verbal and physical abuse, damaging equipment etc.
I should also mention that DS was diagnosed in December as having a learning disability, memory issues and the cognitive function of a 6 year old. He has had problems with learning and low level behavioural issues since primary school and has been on School Action Plus all the way though. His primary school labelled him a 'difficult' and 'naughty' and other children picked up on that too so much so that I had his classmates coming up to me in Reception Year telling me he was 'silly'.
Primary school were not interested in supporting further assessment until Yr 5 when he was 4 years behind on average so working to Yr 1 level still in most subjects apart from reading as I did a lot with him at home. He was excluded from school trips and generally regarded as 'troublesome'. Due to this and my instinct that there was more to it than that I approached his secondary school SENCO before DS even started there as I was worried how he would cope and to inform them that we were still awaiting an assessment (2 years for a diagnosis!). I was assured that DS would get all the help and support possible. Since then I have had meeting with the SENCO (and given them copies of his assessment with recommendations for his teaching) who has assured me that DS's behaviour was very good and he was to be put in the SN class group as it was smaller as his progress was slipping further behind and he was finding class work difficult. He would also attend compulsory homework club as he was finding it too hard so was refusing to do it at home. I fully supported this. This was due to start 6 weeks ago but DS has told me that it had not. I held off on applying for an LEA statement as as I understand it, I have to prove that the school was giving him all the help they could and I had to give the SN class time to see if he improved. Two weeks ago I emailed the school to ask why this had not happened as yet and finally get a reply today from the SENCO that they can't start it until after Easter. I feel I should have been informed of this instead of thinking he was getting extra support when he was not!
Anyway the Head of Year called me back basically saying that she did not know the detention had been cancelled so 'oh well'. She was very defensive in the way she was talking to me and then mentioned that DS had the highest number of detentions in his year which I was unaware of and according the school's behaviour policy, I should have been called in for a meeting which I had not been. I knew he had had some for not doing homework and was fine with it as a punishment as the school were insisting that his homework was not too hard. She then mentioned that he will be in the SN class soon and in compulsory homework club and I asked why I had not been informed that he was not in that now and she denied I had been told he would be . This was agreed with the SENCO to start from after the Feb half term and two weeks had passed without an answer to me questioning it. She was quite rude and I felt she was trying to deflect her error in placing DS in isolation onto him so I said quite firmly that I was not going to talk to her about and would like to speak to the Headteacher. I thought she was going to put me through to the office to arrange this but she said goodbye and I had to repeat myself again!
I now have a meeting with the Deputy Head tomorrow but feel like I may be overreacting and also that I may have made an 'enemy' of the Head of Year now and DS may suffer for it! I am pissed off that DS has been punished where it was not warranted IMO. His self esteem is very low due to his learning difficulty and how he was treated in his previous school and the length of time it has taken to get a diagnosis. I feel that the school are NOT taking his diagnosis into account at all.
AIBU to very angry about this? It looks like this school is going to be the same as his primary .
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AIBU?
to be utterly pissed off with DS's school? Very long sorry.
19 replies
JustTryingToGetBY · 02/04/2014 17:03
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