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to be sad no-one wants to celebrate my 30th birthday with me?

(21 Posts)
AnnaLegovah Tue 01-Apr-14 18:31:32

Probably am but I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself so indulge me.

I turn 30 at the end of the month. I don't usually make a big deal about my birthdays but feel I should at least do 'something'.

No family within a 3 hr drive so no visits from them. DH said something vague about going for a meal but hasn't mentioned it since (he doesn't do surprises so highly unlikely he's arranging anything without me knowing) and he'll be at work all day. I thought about going to a spa for the day but friends I've asked are all busy. I've suggested a night out but can't pin anyone down to a date.

I could go to a spa alone or take myself out for the day somewhere but it makes me a bit sad that I've made it this far without anyone who wants to spend the day with me. I realise I probably left it too late to give people enough notice. IABU?

CoilRegret Tue 01-Apr-14 18:33:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody Tue 01-Apr-14 18:35:45

ah what a lot of meanies.

my dh is crap at organising things.

book yourself some beauty treatments for the day and a nice meal with dh in the evening? or

could you do a weekend away?

littlewhitebag Tue 01-Apr-14 18:36:36

I didn't celebrate my 30th either as i was massively pregnant. I just wept all day long and i couldn't even have a drink!

If i was you I would go for a spa day by myself and be pampered. Sounds like heaven to me!

sebsmummy1 Tue 01-Apr-14 18:37:11

I would come if you were near me grin. Whereabout are you?

CoilRegret Tue 01-Apr-14 18:37:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pleasejustgo Tue 01-Apr-14 18:39:37

Aaaw, you're NBU in the slightest.

We'll all be here cheering you on for your birthday regardless!

Here's to hoping he's planned a massive surprise.

DoYonisHangLow Tue 01-Apr-14 18:41:43

Oh poor you, I'm sure you do have lots of friends that woukd like to spend some time with you but feeling that way is crap sad

I felt the sae at my 30th (last year) and ended up doing a few different birthday 'things' with different people as it was easier than trying to plan a big meal out or something. Plus I'm pretty socially awkward and MUCH better 1 on 1!

I wouldn't be letting DH get away with not planning anything though doesn't have to be on the actual day, just the weekend before/ after. I have realised after 7 years that my (recently separated) DH is just crap at things like ths and he would never have surprised me or bought me a present I wanted no matter hw much I hinted. I'm better off just saying 'I'd lie to go to X for my birthday, and I'd really like a coffee machine/ necklace/ whatever'. I avoided doing it fr so long as I wanted him to read my mind and thought I'd feel crap having to tell him but it was lovely actually getting the present/ day out I wanted and he felt happy knowing o was happy with it smile

DoYonisHangLow Tue 01-Apr-14 18:42:40

Argh, sorry for the shed load of typos....

blanchedeveraux Tue 01-Apr-14 18:43:39

My 30th was shite, 40th fantastic..looking forward to 50th. Hope you get something nice organised. Maybe they're being evasive cos they're planning something for you OP?

IHaveAFifthSense Tue 01-Apr-14 18:46:32

YANBU. It's probably unintentional, but it's still upsetting for you. I expect that everyone thinks 'someone else' will be doing something with you. Your family have assumed that DH will arrange something with you, DH will assume you'll do something with friends, and friends will think you'll be doing something with family or DH.

muminthecity Tue 01-Apr-14 18:47:52

I sympathise OP, I turned 30 last month. I have had many years of people messing me about with dates/cancelling at the last minute etc so decided I wouldn't bother with a big do, just a couple of drinks after work instead. I just told everyone that I would be in <local bar> on x date from 7pm onwards. It turned out to be the best birthday I've ever had, loads of friends came as well as work colleagues, we all had a good drink and a laugh and ended up staying out until the small hours. Could you do something similar?

AnnaLegovah Tue 01-Apr-14 18:49:09

Honestly theres no way anything would have been arranged, neither family nor DH nor any of my friends are 'organisers'. Not a chance.

Money isnt plentiful so a weekend is out but I could stretch to a day at a spa. Ive done them alone so its not a biggie I'd just rather have company. I could go to a spa alone anytime.

I like Coils reasoning that I'm 30 all year! Does that mean a year of celebration?

CoilRegret Tue 01-Apr-14 18:51:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnaLegovah Tue 01-Apr-14 18:52:58

Impromptu drinks after work sounds great muminthecity, but most of my friends aren't living close or have kids. Work colleagues also have kids!

Small mercy is that DD will be at nursery so I can have a child free day at least.

AnnaLegovah Tue 01-Apr-14 18:53:57

Haha love that idea Coil, something I've always wanted to do wink

ThePearShapedToad Tue 01-Apr-14 18:55:08

I'm 30 next month op and have no plans either.

Will happily come celebrate yours with you if you need a cocktail buddy! grin

Though you may find your DH is planning something, especially if he usually isn't a surprises person

CoilRegret Tue 01-Apr-14 18:55:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Christelle2207 Tue 01-Apr-14 18:59:06

Yanbu. I was in a similar situation for mine and in a sad place because just split with xdo. I found that it being my 30th people did make an effort to a party I organised- just booked a corner of a pub and ordered food. During the day I went to a spa by myself and it was lovely. I was dreading it but had a lovely day in the end.

Christelle2207 Tue 01-Apr-14 18:59:20


AnnaLegovah Tue 01-Apr-14 19:29:16

Actually I like Coils idea of inviting people with kids over - if the weather's nice perhaps a BBQ. Who can say no to a barbie right?

A spa day on my actual birthday with lots of alcohol would be ok even if I am on my tod.

So envious of people who have their whole family/friends flocking round them when they have big birthdays!

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