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To wonder what's happening to my friends?

(102 Posts)
Tex111 Tue 01-Apr-14 14:23:00

In the last few years:

One friend has admitted he's an alcoholic and totally cut out the booze. Wonderful news and good for him. Unfortunately at the same time he's discovered religion, started condemning everyone around him and posting scripture on FB. In the past he was fun, hilarious and cheeky. Now he criticises people for swearing.

Another friend used to love his roll-ups and a pint. He's now Buddhist, has completely given up smoking (good) and all alcohol and become very pious and uptight.

Since having children a former fun loving friend has become maniacal about 'screen time' and organic veg boxes. When they visit she tuts at the processed snacks my children sometimes eat (biscuits) and asks if everything is organic (nope).

Countless friends who are training for marathons, triathlons and cutting out gluten/lactose/etc or have suddenly become vegetarian/vegan/macrobiotic/a pain to cook for.

What's happening?? All of these people are in their 40s and these changes seem to go against their personalities. Is it a middle age thing? I'm 43. Has it just not kicked in with me yet? I can understand improving health by stopping smoking, increasing exercise or cutting out alcohol totally (in the case of the alcoholic) but I don't get the judgey, sanctimonious intensity of their attitudes. These were all fun, laid back people. Are they going through a phase and will come out the other side their old, lovely selves or should I be examining my silly, sluttish ways and signing up for a marathon & veg box?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Tue 01-Apr-14 14:25:29

I'm over 40 and have been thinking about taking up serious exercise, am already veggie, but haven't given up booze yet!

My friends all seem to be exercising but not many have given up drinking judging by the Sunday morning FB posts anyway.

WilsonFrickett Tue 01-Apr-14 14:26:21

It is totally the 40's. I recommend an Abel and Cole veg box and an endurance event. Preferably one we can all sponsor you for, natch. And don't forget to keep us up-to-date about your training schedule, we love that.


43 and not smug yet wine

Famzilla Tue 01-Apr-14 14:27:59

Yes to healthy lifestyle charges.

No to being a holier-than-thou arse about it.

Smile & nod, let it all go over your head and pray they'll calm down soon. If it gets too much you can always put a bit more delicious biscuity distance between you.

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Tue 01-Apr-14 14:28:32

if this ever happens to me or any of my friends, I would like to be put to sleep, please.

thebody Tue 01-Apr-14 14:28:45

you are far more likely to get run over by a truck while running or cycling.

it's a lot safer sitting in the sun with a large glass of wine.

lovely gut your friends but assuming this is a phase like kids have 'Pokemon' and 'Lego' phases.

you may need to get some more friends though just in case

LaurieFairyCake Tue 01-Apr-14 14:31:33

Don't forget to also start some self improvement shit

Perhaps you could print out a set of affirmations like I did earlier

Or try chanting

Last week I bought myself a light changing Buddha hmm

Luckily I've caught a hold of myself and got accidentally pissed on a nice bottle of Rioja last night

Or I could have become a cunt for the entire week

My self improvement shit comes and goes - a bit mid life angst plus a bit 'I wish I were still at fucking uni'

Smilesandpiles Tue 01-Apr-14 14:32:38

Mid life crisis for the first two

PFB for the last one.

Famzilla Tue 01-Apr-14 14:32:40

And I don't think it's just assigned to middle age. A lot of my 20-something friends are at it. I blame getting degrees, moving to London and desperately trying to prove how MC they all to all their new young professional mates.

A classic status from an old friend recently (very WC upbringing, ex table dancer, drug enthusiast) "oh I just can't get non-homogenised milk anywhere in North Greenwich, my organic carrot cake just doesn't taste the same without a decent cup of chai".

Tex111 Tue 01-Apr-14 14:43:04

Oh bless you, you lovely, lovely MNs!! Have actually been concerned about all this for some time. Some kind of strange bodysnatchers, Stepford thing going on and wondered if I was somehow lacking for not jumping on board. Oh god yes to a glass of wine in the sun.

thebody Tue 01-Apr-14 14:53:41

Laurie grin

see op you are the normal one here. just like us ha ha

WilsonFrickett Tue 01-Apr-14 14:57:03

I dunno, I think I want a light changing Buddha now.

(What is a light changing Buddha?)

One of my mates did a popular endurance event, it was so hard she actually peed herself while running down a munro.

<pours more wine and pats perfectly predictable pelvic floor>

SpringBreak Tue 01-Apr-14 14:59:22

has it always been a "thing" for people to take up marathons, road biking stages of the Tour de France, iron man competitions etc in late 30s?

Tex111 Tue 01-Apr-14 15:02:00

I thought middle age was all about going wild, making unwise financial decisions (sports car, new boobs) and sowing wild oats. All of this clean living, no swearing, church going, meditating nonsense has caught me off guard.

I remember when my parents went through it. Dad got a perm and started lifting weights in the garage. Mom took belly dancing lessons and bought nipple tassels. On second thought, the endurance event and veg box don't seem like such bad options.

thebody Tue 01-Apr-14 15:06:51

me and dh plan to fuck off to Spain and be saga reps.

we feel the 18/24 market needs a shake up and us oldsters could give them a run for their money.

that's when,and if, the kids finally fly this far far too comfy nest!!

nipple tassels sound good!

formerbabe Tue 01-Apr-14 15:08:07

I have often thought there is a link between drugs/religions...I think they attract similar personality types.

OnlyLovers Tue 01-Apr-14 15:11:16

'I thought middle age was all about going wild, making unwise financial decisions (sports car, new boobs) and sowing wild oats'.


I'm rapidly leaving my 30s and am starting to wonder if I should do these things but I have a long-term DP and no money I could do with new boobs though

FayeKorgasm Tue 01-Apr-14 15:13:18

peed herself running down a Munro a truly original sentence!


Dahlen Tue 01-Apr-14 15:14:14

I think it's sort of age-related because it normally happens to people in their later 30s/early 40s, but it can happen at any age.

It's about fulfilment. There comes a stage in a lot of people's lives where they ask "is this it?" They feel they failed to live up to their potential, or are lacking in excitement/purpose. Sometimes, to the outside world it may appear they already have everything or it may be the case that the life overhaul appears long overdue. What's actually going on in that person's life seems to matter less than how they feel about it.

I was in my 30s when I went through the overhaul and gave up smoking and mad partying and decided to focus on health, career and family (not necessarily in that order). It's still a work in progress but I am very different now to my 20s. I still have the same sense of humour though and still have a live and let live approach - in fact if anything I am more tolerant of difference than ever.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 01-Apr-14 15:40:29

A light changing Buddha - £2 in Tiger

ILoveWooly Tue 01-Apr-14 16:15:21

DH and I have had many a wine fuelled giggle over various friends fb/twitter statuses. In the past month my personal favourite wasthis, posted around 7am 'Just home from a wee 19mile run. Time to reward myself with this' [insert picture of one mini pancake and jam].

I read it whilst drinking copious amounts of tea with my feet up.

DH and I plan to buy a camper van and tour Europe when the DC's are adults.

OnlyLovers Tue 01-Apr-14 16:21:25

Laurie, every time I go past the new branch of Tiger on the bus I wonder what it's for.

Now I know. grin

kategod Tue 01-Apr-14 16:23:38

When he hit 45 my DH became like this, almost overnight. No reason for it - he hadn't had a health scare or anything. He took up running at 5.30 most mornings and manic exercise (manic to me, anyway!), is on a v. low-carb diet (which I didn't mind as it helped me to lose weight), and also rarely drinks alcohol (which frankly I did mind). I assume it is just a mid-life crisis and that he isn't trying to impress another woman (don't think he has time or energy for another woman, what with all the exercising). So thank your lucky stars that it's just your friends who have adopted clean living, because I have to live with it 24/7...

BreakingDad77 Tue 01-Apr-14 16:28:31

The recently converted are always the most fanatical! which goes for anything from religion to lifestyle. Sounds like possibly a few addictive personalities who have substituted A for B and as others said some mid life crisis

juneau Tue 01-Apr-14 16:39:06

I'm 40 and I've made some lifestyle changes recently. I think maybe it is a kind of mid-life crisis, but also an awareness that bad habits are going to make you live a shorter, fatter, unhealthier life.

However, I've lost my faith, as opposed to finding it, so it's not all doom and gloom and I do still love a glass or two of wine grin

I also agree with this The recently converted are always the most fanatical! Hopefully they'll all get over themselves if you just give it a bit of time.

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