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Or is Dh (illness related)

(10 Posts)
EvaBeaversProtege Tue 01-Apr-14 08:51:48

I have had a pain in my stomach/groin area for about a week now, felt very tender and sore to touch, painful to urinate etc.

Yesterday I couldn't get out of bed due to the pain but knew work were short staffed, so got up & got myself showered (eventually). Dh kept saying if you're not well, don't go to work.

He works night shifts & had been off on Sunday night so had normal hours of sleep. He took children to school.

I left to go to work but realised quite soon that I was in too much pain.

I ended up in A&E diagnosed with both kidney stoned & chronic constipation.

I was discharged after 7 hours with lots of osinkillers, a referral for a scan & the instructions to rest at home & return if the pain continued.

So once home, I lay on sofa, took pain killers & had a doze. Children were home from school & needing dinner. Dh went. To. His. Bed.

He said he had to start work @ 11pm & needed a rest. I said dinner was needed. He went to bed & got up on time to play football. (Dd is 13, ds is 3 years younger, so not babies)

I thought at the time it was selfish of him, even knowing he had to work nights ( his shift was from 11pm til 3pm)

He came into bed when he finished his night shift & complained that I had been farting all night & our room stank! (Bear in mind doc give me meds to make me poo - which hasn't happened yet!)

Anyway, alarm went off at 7am, I tried to get up but pains put me off, dh started moaning & groaning that he had a headache and stomach ache & couldn't get up either.

He did eventually as I really couldn't.

I have since moved to the sofa to indulge in my own self pity, he is back in bed to sleep for the rest of the day as he has to work for 3 more hours later.

I sound bitter & angry, I am, but AIBU to be frustrated at him?

CrazyHhas5kitties Tue 01-Apr-14 08:55:03

No Yanbu the selfish twonk , he had to rest for a 4 hour shift that's ridiculous .

CrazyHhas5kitties Tue 01-Apr-14 08:55:30

Hope you start to feel better soon smile

SelectAUserName Tue 01-Apr-14 09:00:09

Does he usually play Competitive Sickness?

TBH when my DH was hospitalised with kidney stones I took the day off work when he was discharged to look after him as he was still in a lot of pain and not fully mobile because of it and we don't have kids in the mix. So my gut reaction is that your DH was BU not to try to get the night off/swap his shift in case you got worse again (not uncommon in that stage of kidney stones).

Hope you feel better soon.

Topseyt Tue 01-Apr-14 09:00:34

You are not being at all unreasonable. He is being a self-indulgent arse.

Kidney stones can be very painful. I hope you are better soon.

nicename Tue 01-Apr-14 09:03:22

Bad man. The only time my dad ever ever ever had a day off work was when he had a kidney stone.

He needs to kick into 'emergency mode' and help you out.

dammitsue Tue 01-Apr-14 09:04:24

Yanbu. I'm willing to bet he blamed his headache on your wind! I think men have a total blind spot for others suffering. I can say I feel ill all day long and when I finally say I'm going to lie down/call DR's or something he acts all surprised!!!!

EvaBeaversProtege Tue 01-Apr-14 09:06:22

I meant 11pm til 3am.

No, he's usually very thoughtful, normally he does all the cooking. I didn't really think about it til he was at football & then I got annoyed.

I'm still in a bit of pain, drugs taking the edge off it.

Was so annoyed at him this morning moaning & groaning (like I was doing yesterday!) so I asked what was wrong - he said headache & stomach ache. I said really? Get over yourself, he said it's okay, it'll be okay after I have a sleep.

I got out if bed & am on sofa.

Sorry for spelling mistakes! On phone & can't preview.

OnEdgeNow Tue 01-Apr-14 09:29:37

Pfft! Lazy sod.

When I was last ill (me and my partner don't live together) she took a half day and brought me Costa hot choccy and biscuits and stayed in bed with me watching films and bringing me painkillers smile

EvaBeaversProtege Tue 01-Apr-14 10:30:40

Do you think she'd take pity on me? smile

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