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Family holiday STRESS!

(27 Posts)
Lilmisssunshine7 Mon 31-Mar-14 08:21:12

Me and my husband booked a week away in a holiday cottage, and decided to invite my mum along too, as we get on really well and it's lovely for her to spend time with my toddler. She is paying half, bless her.
She said if it's ok she would mention in to my brothers if either of them wanted to visit for a bit while we were there, which I said ok too.
I've just found out one of my bros and his gf are planning on coming for 4/5 nights.
I don't know if this is just me being totally unreasonable but I just think that's a bit much! We are paying for half, and I deliberately found somewhere with a 3rd room so the little one wouldn't be in with us all week, because none of us get any sleep then.
I'm just feeling a bit pissed off! There has been no mention of them chippin in, and much as I get on well with them, they can both be quite selfish (not in a horrible way, they just don't have kids yet and are in a totally different place from us. Eg, noisy when little one is napping, use the last of the milk etc).
Don't know wether to say anything or not as I did say it was ok when first mentioned - I just didn't think they would come for so long! Just think it's hard on my husband as well, having to share his holiday with all my family.
Am I being unreasonable? I'm 16 weeks pg and know I'm a bit hormonal!

celebmum Mon 31-Mar-14 08:24:56

not unreasonable at all! tell brother that if hes intent on coming for that long then he needs to book his own room!

ILoveWooly Mon 31-Mar-14 08:29:01

That is a bit much, what if your other bro comes for the remaining nights? Perhaps speak to your mum and offer to pay 2/3rds and split then you have shared the cost for rooms/ adults.

thebody Mon 31-Mar-14 08:31:36

ooh no not at all

my really lovely mil asked me if it was ok for my sil to share our caravan. it was a family holiday and I had taken great care to book one to ourselves just for me, dh and our dcs so we would have some privacy/space.

I felt bounced into saying yes and although sil is ok it ruined the holiday as I felt me and dh had no time together with just us and the dcs.

I was too young to say no.

please please say to your bro love you to visit but no stopping as you won't have the room.

be absolutely clear.

Hoppinggreen Mon 31-Mar-14 09:14:19

Ask your mum where they are sleeping?

Lottiedoubtie Mon 31-Mar-14 09:17:33

If he comes he pays!

I'd split the cost per night per number of adults there and all pay your share of that.

Either that or have a quiet word with brother and tell him back off, if you think you can do that without it becoming ww3...

sooperdooper Mon 31-Mar-14 09:18:45

Just say it'll be lovely to see them but there aren't enough rooms for them to stay that many nights so they'll have to book their own room, and give them the details if how to book, they probably assume your dc will be in with you

Lilmisssunshine7 Mon 31-Mar-14 09:20:04

Thanks guys. I think I will have to say something coz it's really bugging me. Might just mention to my mum I didn't realise they would be coming for so much of the holiday and let her take it from there! The annoying thing is, this is our ONE holiday! and they have weeks away all the time. Think I will just explain that and be super nice about it - don't wanna put my mum in the middle or cause any tension. I'm such a chicken! X

Hoppinggreen Mon 31-Mar-14 09:27:50

If you say you didn't realise they are coming for so long it will look like you don't want them there ( I realise you don't) . Might be better to go for the lack of space angle.

Lilmisssunshine7 Mon 31-Mar-14 10:37:47

Good point hopping green. Might say something more along those lines instead. We just wanted a nice quiet week away! Bah! Hate that I am the one who is going to come out of this looking like a bitch.

Hoppinggreen Mon 31-Mar-14 12:11:10

Yes but at least you'll be a bitch enjoying your holiday!!!

thebody Mon 31-Mar-14 12:14:30

yes agree look shocked and just say 'but we havnt got enough room so where will they sleep then' act like it's simply impossible to have them even if you wanted to.

Mrswellyboot Mon 31-Mar-14 12:16:23

I would say it to your mum

Or casually text db the price of a third of the rent

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 31-Mar-14 12:19:33

'Mum you said 'visit for a bit' and I thought you meant for the day - the cottage only has x rooms, they can't stay 4 nights and if they want to then they really need to make their own sleeping arrangements.'

Send them a text saying, 'Ooh - are you sure about coming for 4-5 days - won't you be uncomfy on the couch for that many nights?'

DraggingDownDownDown Mon 31-Mar-14 12:24:35

Does the cottage have a sofa bed in the lounge as that is where they will have to sleep?

If not casually mention to your Mum that DB will have to bring bed mats to sleep on due to lack of beds.....

chemenger Mon 31-Mar-14 12:25:04

Most holiday cottages seem to have a sofa bed in the livingroom (so they can say they are for 8 rather than 6 people or whatever). Often you have to take your own bed linen for the sofa bed, so put them on the sofa bed and tell them to bring their own sheets. That would be fine for the night or two that you intended your invitation to be for.

pigsDOfly Mon 31-Mar-14 12:28:06

If they think you're being a bitch OP then they'll have to get over it.

You've booked yourselves a holiday so you can recharge your batteries and relax. You've kindly asked your mum and now everyone's piling in. It's not a free for all.

You got the extra room so you could have some peace and quiet and time without your DC in the same room. Why would you then move your DC back into your room so your DB and his GF and have a free holiday.

Just say no.

I agree with FunkyBoldRibena. Tell your mum exactly how it is. Otherwise they will find 'solutions' to pretend obstacles and you still won't have the holiday you want.

TruffleOil Mon 31-Mar-14 12:33:04

I would not agree to this. I hate cramming me, my husband, & my kids into the same room.

Lilmisssunshine7 Mon 31-Mar-14 15:53:26

Yeah think I will just bite the bullet and tell my mum I don't wanna share are holiday for that long. A couple of nights is fine, but that's all. I know if I make excuses she will offer to pay more, or have lo in with her, but that's just not the point. Spoke to my other brother and he didn't think I was being unreasonable either! Will just blame it on crazy pregnancy hormones.

ENormaSnob Mon 31-Mar-14 15:58:11

I think its really fucking cheeky expect to be able to stay 4/5 nights on someone elses holiday.

cheeky swines

BlackeyedSusan Mon 31-Mar-14 16:02:44

don't offer two nioghts... they will push for three... and stay four... just claim you thought they would come for the day and sleep on the sofa overnight...

eurochick Mon 31-Mar-14 16:04:26

I'd take the "won't you be uncomfortable on the floor/sofa for that long?" approach.

expatinscotland Mon 31-Mar-14 16:04:33

Just say NO. One night only. Fucking cheek.

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