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Is this financial abuse.

(63 Posts)
ICanSeeTheSun Sat 29-Mar-14 22:43:04

I have told DH he is not getting a new desktop.

It will cost over £1000 ( just on the tower)as he is a gamer, and it 'needs' to be a pc that can handle 3 eveonline accounts at 1 time with 3 seperate monitors.

We are in debt and I really don't want the plunge deeper.

Am I being financially abusive saying no to this.

This is he only enjoyment. He doesn't go out or drink, smoke, gamble. He does his fair share on childcare and will do housework if I ask of him ( I like doing housework so it very rare)

DingbatsFur Sat 29-Mar-14 22:44:24

If you can't afford it then he doesn't need it.
You are not bring abusive! Let him save for it!

No it's not financial abuse.

He doesn't do anything else, but neither should he because you are in debt.

When your debts are paid off and he saves his share of what's left, then he can spend it on whatever he wants.

PinklePurr Sat 29-Mar-14 22:46:13

He is being an idiot!

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 29-Mar-14 22:46:24

It will have to go on finace as we have no saving.

ColdTeaAgain Sat 29-Mar-14 22:47:14

YANBU
you are in debt, of course he shouldn't be spending a grand on his hobby! which I hope he doesn't spend too much time on

PinklePurr Sat 29-Mar-14 22:48:05

Then he'll have to save first. It won't have to go on finance because it's nothing more than a toy and is not necessary.

Joysmum Sat 29-Mar-14 22:49:14

It'd be financial abuse if you weren't living by the rules you're wanting him to abuse by.

Joysmum Sat 29-Mar-14 22:49:48

fuck sake abide by

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 29-Mar-14 22:50:16

Sorry to drip feed, but the pc we have now is broken. Can't get the parts ( discontinued) DH is good at fixing PC so it would have only been the part.

He has searched high and low for the part with no luck.

PinklePurr Sat 29-Mar-14 22:53:02

He'll just have to make do with a cheaper computer then. If you can't afford then he'll have to behave like a sensible adult and not a whingy entitled child.

Rauma Sun 30-Mar-14 00:27:09

Eve online is not getting vastly more complex, if the laptop can handle three accounts I am sure it'll manage two for a couple of years. Alternatively get him to build a PC, cheaper and more powerful than a laptop when done even vaguely right.

Personally I think he's acting like plonker. He does not NEED to play three accounts at once, total obsessive overkill tbfh and I am a gamer with years of playing eve under my belt.

Quinteszilla Sun 30-Mar-14 00:32:14

I dont get this. What part? If he has built a desktop gaming pc, then the parts are interchangeable.

My dh has built computers and servers for the last 20 years, and my 11 year old son built his computer last year. He sourced all his components online, and managed to build a top of the range high spec pc for around £400. The only thing he has left, and that he is still saving for is a top of the range graphics card, which, lets face it (bearing the crude graphics of Minecraft in mind) he does not need right now.

If my 11 year old can source components which are high spec and in his budget, I fail to see why your dh cant.

MamaMumra Sun 30-Mar-14 00:33:11

If you can't afford it then it's not financial abuse. Why are you worried that it's abuse?

Quinteszilla Sun 30-Mar-14 00:35:47

Is he saying it is financial abuse?

Sharaluck Sun 30-Mar-14 00:38:16

I think it is ridiculous to get something so expensive in your situation!

He needs to find a cheaper version and get that (even if it is on finance) as you do say it is his only enjoyment. I don't think it fair to deny one's only enjoyment if you are in debt. But he needs to find something more affordable.

eightandthreequarters Sun 30-Mar-14 02:01:34

Impossible to say from what you've told us so far. You can't afford it, so he shouldn't buy it - seems pretty obvious. But then I don't know what's gone on credit in your household, or for whom.

MamaMumra Sun 30-Mar-14 02:03:53

Yes I agree eightandthreequarters

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 30-Mar-14 02:05:09

The graphics card he had has failed, can not find one compatable for the motherboard.

He says it not fair that his one and only enjoyment is being taken away.

scottishmummy Sun 30-Mar-14 02:07:58

Youre in debt,so no pricy fripperies.if you were solvent it's different.but you're not

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 30-Mar-14 02:15:25

Loans was to get this house sorted, it was bad no carpets, curtains, bed that's had springs coming out of the mattress. Washing machine broken down, tumble drier that kept breaking down, fridge on the brink. We both decided enough was enough got a £7000 loan decorated the house from top to bottom, new carpets, new appliances and treated our self to a dishwasher.

Then got another loan to pay off all the overdrafts, store cards and credit cards, rent arrears and water arrears (all cancelled now and up to date)

In 32 months we will have no debts, I have vowed that never again I would get into debt.

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 30-Mar-14 02:16:29

A lot of other things in this house on top.

scottishmummy Sun 30-Mar-14 02:17:17

You're a pure trooper,sensible.he needs to stop acting like a plooky teen in COD

MamaMumra Sun 30-Mar-14 02:17:21

Tell him to be more creative OP

Surely there must be a cheaper way?

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 30-Mar-14 02:24:09

I just really need to get out of debt

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