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... to leave DH in charge of visiting child

(20 Posts)
redskyatnight Sat 29-Mar-14 15:16:29

DD (age 8) is having a friend over to play. It's a newish friend and I don't really know her parents well. DH has met them a couple of times to say hello.

Originally I was expecting to be about when friend visited, however I now have to go into work. DH will be at home.

Have to admit this is the sort of thing I wouldn't have worried about for a second before reading MN but ... AIBU just to leave DH to supervise DD and visiting child without letting the other child's parents know?

I would have absolutely no problem with some child's dad (even one I didn't know) looking after DD in the opposite circumstances, but am aware from MN that I may be a more lax parent.

MyNameIsKenAdams Sat 29-Mar-14 15:17:32

I wouldnt give it a second thought. I would hope the other girls parents wouldnt either.

its not like you are leaving them alone.

WeeClype Sat 29-Mar-14 15:18:03

Wouldn't bother me smile

Wigglebummunch Sat 29-Mar-14 15:18:22

Wouldn't bother me if I was her parent.

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 29-Mar-14 15:19:10

Why would it be an issue in the first place? She is coming to your daughter's house, not paying you to provide childcare.

usualsuspectt Sat 29-Mar-14 15:19:27

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Yama Sat 29-Mar-14 15:20:57

When dd (8) goes to her friends' houses I never know if it will be Mum or Dad at home.

If your dd's friend's parents don't have your home number or your dh's mobile, it may be a good idea to text it to them.

Floggingmolly Sat 29-Mar-14 15:22:20

It's not a problem, really smile

Nennypops Sat 29-Mar-14 15:59:29

If they had a problem with it, they would have to specify that they don't want her left with dh. Just don't worry about it.

cankles Sat 29-Mar-14 16:01:59

Disagree, you are changing the rules of the arrangement - they may not mind but I would let the parents know that you will be out for a while as something has come up. I do have a problem with not knowing who my child is being mind by, way too casual.

cankles Sat 29-Mar-14 16:02:18

minded, soz!

Delphiniumsblue Sat 29-Mar-14 16:04:37

I can't see why it should be an issue, but I would mention it.

HowContraryMary Sat 29-Mar-14 16:05:43

It wouldn't bother me. But are you supposed to stay and make small talk like you would with the mother?

arethereanyleftatall Sat 29-Mar-14 16:07:27

Be careful you don't think views represented on MN are typical! The majority of parents wouldn't give a toss about this, but they're not on MN because they're relaxed!
,I always try to remember whenever I see completely ott reactions on here, that it is a type of person that's on MN, and it isn't the most chilled out type!

Delphiniumsblue Sat 29-Mar-14 16:16:22

I agree that MN is nothing like RL!

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 29-Mar-14 16:35:55

Disagree, you are changing the rules of the arrangement - they may not mind but I would let the parents know that you will be out for a while as something has come up. I do have a problem with not knowing who my child is being mind by, way too casual.

What rules? The OP doesn't mention any rules. The daughter is coming round to play with the OP's daughter. Where does it say that the mother has to be in attendance?

Nocomet Sat 29-Mar-14 16:36:11

I don't mind although I prefer to have met any adult looking after that sort of age.

DDs DFs dad works from home so it's often Dad who's about.

Now they are at secondary it's just nice if some one knows where DD2 is. (At lot of her DFs live in the same village and you drop her off at one house, but they then wander. I know this is normal. But DS1's DF lives in the middle of now where like we do. There isn't anywhere to vanish to.)

Refoca Sat 29-Mar-14 16:42:25

Another vote for 'btw I've been called into work...DH will ve looking after the girls, our home phone is xxx and hos mobile is xxx if you need to get in touch with him directly for any reason'

A friend asked if I could pick up her daughter after school for a playdate the other day as I said no it would be issues, still went ahead. But another friend asked a few months ago just to walk her daughter home (not even a play date) and she really minded and made other arrangements so best not to assume.

cankles Sat 29-Mar-14 16:44:49

FBR I think there is an unspoken etiquette of play dates no matter what that when I drop my lot off or am having someone elses child over they know who will be about - whether it's me or dp or both or whatever.

I am not saying that mum needs to be in attendance - I think that we make decisions based on our own frame of reference - which is grand but I wouldn't assume that the other parents have such a nice easy going attitude as the OP - and neither family knows each other very well. That's all!

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Sat 29-Mar-14 18:33:46

I like to know who is there, especially as I sometimes know one parent better than another. I think it is polite to tell her. My DD is a little younger, though.

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