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re giving flower money to someone

(24 Posts)
OurMiracle1106 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:15:20

This is my first mothers day since my mum passed. However earlier a close friend asked if I had any money they could borrow til Monday as they have no food (work hasn't paid them) so I gave them the only money I had which was unfortunately the money I put away for flowers on Sunday.

My mum was always a very firm believer in you need to live with the living not with the dead and always said to bring her flowers whilst she was alive and could see their beauty not once she was gone and knew nothing about it.

I do feel a little guilty. Wibu to put a friends needs over my mums flowers?

CoffeeTea103 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:17:20

You've done a lovely thing. I'm sure your mum would be very happy knowing that you've helped someone who needed the helpthanks

AlpacaPicnic Fri 28-Mar-14 22:18:01

I think your mum would be proud of you for helping a friend in need.

itsmeitscathy Fri 28-Mar-14 22:21:38

Nothing to feel guilty about, really you're honouring your mum by doing something useful and kind with the money I think which it sounds like she would have appreciated.

BackforGood Fri 28-Mar-14 22:28:37

Nothing to feel guilty about at all. Your Mum would be proud that she'd brought you up to be so kind, and to be sensible with the money.

randomfemale Fri 28-Mar-14 22:29:11

Can I give you an un-mumsnetty ((((((((((hug))))))))))

I lost my mum 22 years ago and your post brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure your mum would be smiling to know you have helped your friend smile

flipchart Fri 28-Mar-14 22:34:31

Your mothers memory doesn't need flowers!
You've done a nice thing x

steff13 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:37:31

My mom died 12 years ago and I never put flowers on her grave. I visit it a couple of times a year to make sure the cemetery is maintaining it properly, but that's it. My mom isn't there, just her body is. Her spirit and memory are with me.

I am sure your mom would be proud to know you helped a friend. No need to feel guilty.

OurMiracle1106 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:42:17

Thank you. Last year I bought her a teddy and card wasnt expensive but she loved them. I miss her

Lilybensmum1 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:49:09

It sounds like you know what your mum would want, what a lovely thing you did, your mum obviously did a good job, bet she is looking down feeling proud! Happy Mother's Day for Sunday. smile

Emilizz Fri 28-Mar-14 23:24:28

I think that you did the right thing.
I'm sure that your dear mum is always in your thoughts every day and not just on mothers day.

WilsonFrickett Fri 28-Mar-14 23:30:18

Your mum did a wonderful job raising a kind and generous daughter who will put her hand in her pocket to help out a friend in need. As a mother, I would far rather my DS was doing that than buying me flowers.

But here are some for you anyway thanks

Caitlin17 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:24:18

You don't really need anyone to tell you did the right thing because you so obviously did.

AwfulMaureen Sat 29-Mar-14 03:01:27

Perhaps you could make it a tradition OP? Give some flower money every year to a good cause? I think that's a lasting way to commemorate your could still visit her.x

steff13 Sat 29-Mar-14 03:03:20

AwfulMaureen, I think that's a lovely idea.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 29-Mar-14 03:07:47

I'm with Maureen. It's something you could do to remember her. So sorry for your loss.

LibraryMum8 Sat 29-Mar-14 04:18:59

I think you were lovely! Helping your friend in need is like a bouquet in her memory. You did well.

cheepsskram Sat 29-Mar-14 06:29:34

Sending you a massive hug. It's my 4 th mothers day without my mum and I remember just how hard I found that first one. You have done a lovely thing. Xxx

LillyAlien Sat 29-Mar-14 06:40:15

Seems like you know YANBU and you just asked this question to stealth boast about the good deed you did... hmm

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 29-Mar-14 06:41:19

You did the right thing. I bet that's what your mum would have told you to do.

MinesAPintOfTea Sat 29-Mar-14 06:48:22

If its troubling you, you could print out a card or write a letter for your dm instead telling her the sentiment the flowers were meant to convey. Any (nice) mum would much rather have the words and a kind daughter.

KoalaFace Sat 29-Mar-14 06:52:37

I think you've done exactly what your mum raised you to do. She'd be proud.

LillyAlien I think what you said is unkind.

LillyAlien Sat 29-Mar-14 06:58:12

Unkind but true KoalaFace.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 29-Mar-14 07:40:04

If a relatively recently bereaved woman derives some reassurance/comfort from posters on this thread, would that be such a bad thing? Your posts appear unkind LillyAlien. Aren't you familiar with the concept of giving someone the benefit of the doubt? Maybe you should try it, especially when the alternative is kicking them when they're down.

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