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Or was my colleague out of order?

(56 Posts)
DuPainDuVinDuFromage Fri 28-Mar-14 09:11:11

Yesterday I was on the phone to my mum as I arrived at work and having a bit of an argument (she can be difficult...). I couldn't finish the conversation outside because I was only just going to make it for 9am and staying outside to talk would have made me late. And it's very difficult to cut her off once she gets going - the only option would have been to literally cut her off, which would have made her really mad. So I was still on the phone as I walked into the office and it was probably clear that we were arguing (although I should note not actually shouting and no swearwords etc.).

Today, the person I share a room with at work suggested I might want to wait outside until I finish my conversations rather than "airing my dirty laundry" in the office - not his actual words but clearly his meaning.

AIBU to be furious that he thinks it is any of his business AT ALL when the conversation did not involve anything more anti-social than some slightly raised voices?

I am so angry that I don't know how I'm going to get through the several meetings I have with him today without saying something angry

SunnyL Fri 28-Mar-14 09:14:36

I think I'd have to side with your colleague. You talking tersely on the phone may be a private conversation but it will affect the atmosphere of the office. Mobile phone conversations are not private when one half of the conversation can be fully heard.

Finish the conversation outside next time.

CumberCookie Fri 28-Mar-14 09:14:48

I can see both sides... Surely you could have waited until you had finished your conversation before entering? I would have found that a bit rude tbh.

But he has probably said that to intentionally annoy you and get under your skin. Do your best to ignore it and him. Its not worth it.

EeyoreIsh Fri 28-Mar-14 09:15:13

He could have been more tactful but he had a point. If you're still on the phone at 9 then you're not working. I wouldn't want to be distracted by a colleague having an argument on the phone in the office.

shakinstevenslovechild Fri 28-Mar-14 09:15:23

It would make me very uncomfortable if my colleague was on the phone clearly arguing with someone and I had to sit and listen to it, I would probably mention it as well.

He has a one wants to liste n to their colleague having an barney on the phone - keep it outside.

Bornin1984 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:17:10

Colleague was right! It's none of their business your correct but you made it their business when you took it inside and everyone can hear! So now your probably talk of the work place anyway!

It's rude and bad manners! But I think your more furious at your mum and taking it out in colleague

fascicle Fri 28-Mar-14 09:20:28

Perhaps your colleague could have been more diplomatic in his delivery, but I agree that it was inappropriate for you to continue a heated discussion with your mother in the office.

Mouthfulofquiz Fri 28-Mar-14 09:20:46

As someone who shared an office with someone whose elderly mother called twice a day, resulting in a 15 minute phone call about NOTHING, I can say that it's fairly annoying and your colleague is not being unreasonable. Emergency phone calls are of course acceptable.
I wouldn't dream of calling my DH at work unless serious. But to have a chat / argument? Never.

Kemmo Fri 28-Mar-14 09:23:00


DuPainDuVinDuFromage Fri 28-Mar-14 09:23:57

I guess I'm in the wrong then sad

Hoppinggreen Fri 28-Mar-14 09:27:06

Colleague was probably right but it sounds like you don't get on anyway, was he saying it to annoy you?

sarahandmallard Fri 28-Mar-14 09:27:57

If you're chatting on your phone in the office at 9, you're still late for work. Stay outside. And - you made it his business by not giving him a choice but to listen to your private argument. Completely unprofessional and if you raise it up with him, make sure it's only to profusely apologise for your unprofessional behaviour. Or you will find this quickly escalating to your manager/hr.

Birdsgottafly Fri 28-Mar-14 09:28:34

I also agree that you shouldn't of carried on your call whilst walking into work.

I would say that's it's never to late to put boundaries in place with "difficult" parents (mine were abusive).

Your Mother needs to be cut off, or respect that she can't rant on at any time of your day.

It doesn't set you up well to start your working day.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 28-Mar-14 09:28:55

You should have said to her that you'd arrived at work now so I'm going to have to go, speak later.

Don't make everyone else listen in.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:30:17

Yabu, no one wants to listen to those uncomfortable conversations and the atmosphere is very awkward afterwards. Your colleague has a very valid point.

ENormaSnob Fri 28-Mar-14 09:33:46

Your colleague is right.

fluffyraggies Fri 28-Mar-14 09:33:54

Sympathise - my mother is impossible to get off the phone. Even when baby's screaming and i say hang on and lay the phone down i can hear her carrying on talking! hmm

... but, as has been said, you should have stayed outside till you got off the phone.

freyaW2014 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:34:47


londonrach Fri 28-Mar-14 09:35:12

He has a point. You shouldn't have in work time unless it was emergency. Also it's not nice to hear a collegue on the phone like this when you meant to be working. I think it was abit rude of you. Next time take it outside in your own time.

londonrach Fri 28-Mar-14 09:38:10

You should apologies to your work collegue as well as you want a pleasant working environment.

LifeisFuckingGreat Fri 28-Mar-14 09:38:53

YABU plus your general anger levels seem very high. You are overly defensive of a polite setting of professional boundaries by a colleague.

I can't imagine bringing an argument into a work office, it's deeply unprofessional.
Not knowing this makes me wonder if you are unboundried in other parts of your life too?

AnyFucker Fri 28-Mar-14 09:39:07

I'm with your colleague. He sounds rather abrupt about it, but thu if you make a habit of doing this kind of pointless stuff in work time I would get posses off with you too

AnyFucker Fri 28-Mar-14 09:39:41


UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 28-Mar-14 09:42:02

YABU. Apologise with good grace, have a cup of camomile (sp?) tea and stick pins into a voodoo doll of your Mum.

But in the whole scheme of things it's no biggie, don't get bogged down emotionally in it.

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