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10/11 year old friendship woes, do you still interfere?

(18 Posts)
playedgroundgames Thu 27-Mar-14 23:26:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misfitless Thu 27-Mar-14 23:30:32

I think it sounds pretty extreme. I'd definitely have a word with the teacher. Hope your DD is OK and that it gets sorted out soon x

Silverdaisy Fri 28-Mar-14 00:17:00

There's a lot to take in with your post, can I ask some questions?

How old is dd?
Who are the others that are telling you that L is constantly dumping dd?

Sounds quite hard for you.

Silverdaisy Fri 28-Mar-14 00:23:20

Sorry saw your title again. I see the age. It's quite a difficult age to manage. I'm sure there will be loads of people who can help.

Nanny0gg Fri 28-Mar-14 00:26:18

I'd speak to the teacher.

This isn't 'normal' falling out, this is bullying.

ICanSeeTheSun Fri 28-Mar-14 00:34:10

My oldest is coming up 8, I don't generally interfer as kids tend to fall out and are friends again.

But this is more, I would speak to the school as this is bullying.

orangepudding Fri 28-Mar-14 00:40:26

Speak to the teacher.

My dd1 had a girl in primary school like this. They then got into the same secondary school, I asked for them tobe in separate forms as did other parents.
Perfectly acceptable to get.involved when.kids are being so nasty.

AwfulMaureen Fri 28-Mar-14 01:08:05

Do you know I HATE this type of thing. Girls of this age are so vulnerable...they play awful games with one another but it's always the same girls who do it...whilst their victims are suffering in the name of friendship...it's almost like an abusive relationship I think.....and since girls practice on one another with these intense friendships for their future relationships, I think you need to get your DD out of this girls' clutches. poor DD...

playedgroundgames Fri 28-Mar-14 08:07:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littledrummergirl Fri 28-Mar-14 08:31:45

We have had similar with ds2. Some of the things we have talked about:
Find another person who is on their own and be a good friend to them, this means you play with them instead of L when he wants you. L may get cross but ds2 was to ignore. As a result ds2 now has a group of nice friends who have joined him and the original new friend.
Ds2 is not to do things for L. He had to say no and if L got cross and hit him go to a teacher. The worst thing for him would be to become Ls lackey. He had to be strong and we would support him. As a result we have had to involve the police when ds2 was attacked however L now leaves him alone.
We also enrolled ds2 in a number of activities outside school so that he can interact with different people and gain different perspectives. Some have been awesome for him, others less welcoming and not as friendly, these have come to a natural end.
It is not an easy road and needs all the adults- you, the school and police if needed- to work together. Breaking those ties has been hard but ds2 is a much happier, confident and social boy.

playedgroundgames Fri 28-Mar-14 08:55:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whomadeyougod Fri 28-Mar-14 09:44:04

agree with littledrummer get your dd out of the other girls clutches , she sounds awful , my dd was a bit older but same story , couldnt be happier now , hope it works out well .

blanchedeveraux Fri 28-Mar-14 10:16:14

This is so common. My own DD had a similar "friendship" around that age. They still associate with each other but "friend" has had to learn that DD isn't her personal property.

I often felt like getting involved but at DD's insistence, I stayed out of it and was just there to listen to her when she was upset about it. She managed to deal with it herself but she doesn't have the disadvantages of your own DD's learning difficulties, that clearly makes her more vulnerable.

Nanny0gg Fri 28-Mar-14 11:15:11

but dd who had sorted to sit with another child last night for the trip today had been paired again with L by teacher

Sounds to me as though teacher either knows that L has 'issues' and is using your DD to solve them, or L manipulated the teacher (crying, whinging?) to get the pairings changed.

Hope you can get it sorted.

Duckegg80 Fri 28-Mar-14 11:17:42

I went through something very similar as a child for quite a long time. It got so bad my Mum decided to move us all to a new house (the girl in question lived on our road). It affected me quite badly as a child and I think you should intervene as soon as you can. It's not just kids being kids and falling out from time to time, this is bullying.

lottieandmia Fri 28-Mar-14 11:20:37

This is not petty, it's bullying and it needs sorting out right now. Go and speak to the teacher immediately. Girls are notorious for falling out at this age but this is definitely bullying and your poor dd has learning difficulties and it sounds as if this other girl is being very manipulative. It has to stop.

TruffleOil Fri 28-Mar-14 11:21:33

Do you know L's mom?

playedgroundgames Fri 28-Mar-14 14:19:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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