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Mothers Day Meal

(25 Posts)
PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 20:54:27

I need a few quick responses...

Dh has booked a surprise meal on Sunday evening for me for Mother's Day. Great so far.

Except I've done detective work and it's a very traditional but basic Turkish restaurant. Only vegetarian things on menu are hummus and halloumi. Which will have been cooked with the meat.

How so I get out of it? He's very pleased to have booked somewhere but it's almost the opposite of what I'd like. (And have said I'm MORE than happy not to go out! I'm 100% happy with a homemade card and daffodils from the garden).

If we go he'll be disappointed when I don't order much or eat much and I'll just feel sad/pissed off that he knows me so little.

Help?

tripecity Thu 27-Mar-14 20:58:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hamptoncourt Thu 27-Mar-14 21:02:19

Just tell the truth, that you appreciate his effort but it really isn't your thing and you would prefer restaurant X Y or Z.

Honesty is definitely the best policy here. Say it with a cuddle and a smile and if he still gets the hump then he is a bit of a twat.

Back2Two Thu 27-Mar-14 21:02:30

Why are you planning for it to fail?
I'm sure there would be more than just houmous and halloumi and that these don't need to be cooked with meat? hmm

There'll be pittas and olives and other dips?

You sound as if you're already pissed off that he knows you so little.
Don't you think that's a strange thing to be saying? And you sound as though you are going to make sure he knows that he got it "wrong" by making your dissatisfaction with the food blatantly clear.

It's not all about the food.

puntasticusername Thu 27-Mar-14 21:06:23

If you bottle out of addressing it with him "properly", you could possibly maybe come down with a totally genuine, unexpected, non-specific tummy bug on the day. Just saying.

Then you get to give your husband's kind and thoughtful gesture due recognition, and you can also have a nice meal out at a later date, at a place of your choosing (because you will book it this time, as it's your turn, he booked this one).

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:06:54

back2two I looked up the menu online. Trust me, olives aside it'll be hummus and halloumi. It's famous for its meat and seafood and experience tells me there won't be a vegetarian grill.

I suppose I am sad that he's chosen somewhere I would never choose myself. I'm not a huge fan of Turkish food (with the exception of some amazing vegetarian Turkish places I've been to - but this is very meaty).

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:07:52

puntastic not a bad idea grin

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:09:20

Tripe and Hampton - thanks to you as well. Good options. I'm veering towards honesty and saying I'd actually rather stay in and get something easy from M&S or wherever...

SolidGoldBrass Thu 27-Mar-14 21:13:39

Is the fact that you are a vegetarian a problem for him, or has he just not known you for very long?

I mean, I'd find taking a vegetarian outfor a meal a bit tiresome as they don't half go on - the only thing more attention-seeking is a vegan wink but if you are living with him and have been with him for a while, he must surely be used to the hours and days of tiresome negotiation before any food can be ordered in a public place...

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:13:58

Also back I think you've misunderstood slightly. A meat /seafood heavy restaurant of any type is just crap for a vegetarian. Eating pita and hummus is not exciting. The other dips are all fishy (taramasalata for example). And if there's nothing else I can eat there then yes, it will be obvious that I am "dissatisfied" but what can I do?!

Bit like me taking my coeliac friend to a bakery (with no coeliac friendly options) and then feeling hurt that she couldn't eat.

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:16:53

solidgold I can eat almost anywhere. I'm not a fussy annoying vegetarian and dh has no issues with my diet.

I love Italian, Indian, Thai, Mexican, British, Chinese, etc. I can eat at almost every restaurant - with the exception of places which are 95% meat/fish.

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:17:32

And we're in London. No shortage of great places to eat.

whois Thu 27-Mar-14 21:20:38

Honestly it's meant to be the OPs meal out and her DP has booked somewhere where she'll get a bit of cheese cooked in meat juice? That's crap.

My DP is veggie, if it's my birthday or something I pick somewhere that id like to go and don't worry too much about veggie choices as long as there is something he can eat.

If it's a joint event, a normal meal out or his event the. Of course we go somewhere that isn't a steak house. Just common curtsy?

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:23:59

Thanks whois. Actually feeling really crap about it. I think I'll just tell him (tactfully) that it's not my thing.

I don't think he thought very hard about it to be honest. But I know it's his idea of the perfect restaurant (and somewhere I would be very happy to take him as a treat for him). Just hate the idea of pretending to be so thrilled when that's not honest and it'll be crap for me.

puntasticusername Thu 27-Mar-14 21:25:14

Why has he even booked this place then? Only place he could get a reservation at this short notice?

Otherwise it almost starts to look like a deliberately rubbish choice on his part!

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:29:54

puntastic good question. I think he did try other places which were full. He just hasn't really thought it through.

Honestly, I'd rather not go out. Mother's Day isn't a commercial thing for me (as I said in my op). I'd just like to spend the day with my children and relax.

I think he lack of thought is way more upsetting than it should be. I'm probably overreacting. It's just that I love eating out and there are literally hundreds of great places within a 2 mile radius. And then there's a Turkish meat place confused

whois Thu 27-Mar-14 21:32:19

I think he lack of thought is way more upsetting than it should be. I'm probably overreacting. It's just that I love eating out and there are literally hundreds of great places within a 2 mile radius. And then there's a Turkish meat place

No, I get you. Sometimes the lack of thought over quite small things can be the most hurtful.

Back2Two Thu 27-Mar-14 21:33:29

No, I know it can be a bit depressing (I was veggie for about 25yrs)
But, it was the tone of your post. It seemed to miss out any positive feeling that he had actually thought to bother and book a table. You said he was "very pleased" and it is supposed to be a surprise. That sounds quite nice and thoughtful.

So, if you could let go of some of the "it's not perfect and I won't have a massive feast" and have more of the " it was a lovely thought so I'll have a nice time anyway" and make the very best of it?

But....I don't know your husband (he may be an inconsiderate , thoughtless and obsessed with meat!) as I said it sounds as though there is more to it than choosing the wrong restaurant?

puntasticusername Thu 27-Mar-14 21:37:28

You know when someone buys you a present they want themselves? That smile

If it were me, I'd probably let the issue of him picking a bad restaurant go - unless it was part of a general pattern of thoughtless, selfish behaviour etc etc - and if you can, just say to him as you've said here: you appreciate the thought but actually you'd rather stay in with the family on Sunday?

If you really can't be that honest with him, you might have bigger problems...?

Or there's always my original suggestion concerning diarrhoea and vomiting smile

PoppySeed2014 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:42:57

Right, I just spoke to him honestly and he straight away said he thought it might be a bad choice and w're going somewhere else that we both love grin

Thanks to everyone who's been so lovely and understood my emotional rambling!

RandomMess Thu 27-Mar-14 21:45:35

REally glad it's sorted smile Enjoy!

Back2Two Thu 27-Mar-14 21:50:20

Oh good! Hope you have a lovely time smile

trikken Thu 27-Mar-14 21:53:56

Aw nice. Glad it went ok.

puntasticusername Thu 27-Mar-14 21:57:24

Yay! We like a happy ending. Have a wonderful time!

SolidGoldBrass Fri 28-Mar-14 15:17:21

Glad you're sorted. I was really just t aking the mickey a bit as it seemed such an odd thing for him to have done. I mean, I might do it if I had to entertain a vegetarian person that I didn't like.

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