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To want to scream at my husband sometimes???

(31 Posts)
redhead78 Wed 26-Mar-14 20:15:41

We're going away with my mil this weekend which has been arranged for months. Since booking it I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes which has totally affected daily life for me and made my emotions even more haywire.
My mil thinks all I have to do is "not eat cakes and chocolate", despite having explained to her that it's much more complex than that and that I can basically have hardly any carbs, no white flour based things at all and no cereal etc as well as severely limiting chocolate and other sweet stuff.
My hubby has been as supportive as he can be but he has no idea really the planning that goes behind a weekly menu/shopping/preparing meals etc, let alone the havoc the gd has further created in this regard. He goes off to work every day and sees me eat one meal (dinner with him, which I haven't had to change much, just add more veg instead of pasta/rice/potatoes etc) and do one blood sugar reading. Then for the rest of the day I'm constantly trying to think of new things we can have instead of sticking to the same meals all the time, taking 3 other blood sugar readings and basically food has become the centre of everything for me. If I've just eaten then I'm thinking of my next test readings. If I've just done a test I'm thinking about the next meal to prepare.
I don't think I've been unreasonable in that I still give hubby sandwiches/crisps/chocolate bars in his pack up every day and he still has the cereal based breakfast that he likes (he cycles to work so needs the calories!).
BUT they're now on the phone to each other planning what to take for this weekend and I'm having to listen to them planning what treats they can take but that I "won't mind" because I don't like them anyway. Example, they're taking cinnamon raisin bagels, rather than plain ones because I only like the plain ones. And they're only taking chocolate with fruit and nuts in as I only like plain chocolate.
They seem to think that this will make it easier for me to sit and watch them eating these things as treats whilst I basically sit there eating either nothing or carrot sticks.
Part of me feels like I'm being totally unreasonable expecting them not to eat these things in front of me but part of me wants to scream at them for being so selfish! Neither of them seem to have any idea what a struggle I'm going through every single day for the rest of my pregnancy but at the same time I don't want to be accused of being selfish and stopping them enjoying themselves.
I don't begrudge eating the way I have to currently for the sake of my baby, but is it too much to ask that the few times I do eat meals with other people (and I'm only talking very close family members) that they show some support and eat what I can?

Onsera3 Thu 27-Mar-14 07:20:26

Yeah I guess I think YABU as I wouldn't have eaten those foods anyway during pregnancy. Eg white flour? No nutritional benefit whatsoever so would be in a little treat (like cake) once a week maybe.

I never had any GD symptoms but there were plenty of times I had to be around friends and family eating stuff I couldn't really. I didn't want to fill up on treats as they had little nutritional benefit.

Similarly, I wouldn't have expected people to stop drinking alcohol around me or not eat pate or soft cheese etc
even though I like these things.

It sounds like there was a lot of refined stuff and simple carbs that should have been cut from your diet anyway so maybe instead of looking at is as you missing out you should think of it as a chance for you and your baby to get better nutrition.

RedFocus Thu 27-Mar-14 07:19:08

I chose to do low carbing and it's easy! It's not their fault that you can't have carbs and after the baby has been born you'll be back to normal soon enough. Stop moaning!

deakymom Thu 27-Mar-14 06:35:50

totally understand the frustration here i have a food intolerance for ten years i still hate people eating cakes in front of me YES i know i can get gluten free ones but they are a,three times the price (at least) b,nothing as tasty c,hard to find

then i go to peoples houses and its all would you like a biscuit? (its been 6 years ffs you should KNOW by now?) cake anyone? (i cant eat gluten) but its mr kipling!? (try telling people it really doesn't make a difference on the brand they are just confused)

they will see on your weekend away how hard it is for you just remember to breathe deep xx

TheseAreTheJokesFolks Wed 26-Mar-14 23:40:49

Berries in moderation

Plain chocolate square if I had pangs....kept me going btw

Lots of recipes online if you like baking

Carrot sticks great with hummus for snacking...eating little and often and lots of snacks helps prevent big fluctuations but you are still pregnant so cannot and should not starve yourself xxx

WilsonFrickett Wed 26-Mar-14 23:35:17

You won't be pg for ever, so here's what I would do.

Make a meal plan for 7 days of things you like.

Eat it on a weekly basis for the rest of your pg.

Stop letting 'what will we eat tonight' become a big issue that controls your entire day, you won't suffer if you eat a restricted, yet controlled diet, for the next few months.

For the weekend away, make sure you pack some treats that you want. Ask DH and mil not to have big chats about their treats in front of you, and left them bring what they want - again with the proviso they don't have a big long discussion about what they're eating.

Just let it go a little bit. You are making your diet into this huge thing and I understand why you are doing it, but it needn't be your main focus for th next however many weeks. Just get it sorted and file it under 'humdrum' then look forward to your baby. And your weekend away.

TheseAreTheJokesFolks Wed 26-Mar-14 23:33:56

Wholemeal pasta
Tsatsiki with tikka.

TheseAreTheJokesFolks Wed 26-Mar-14 23:31:20

Aarggh that should say ratatouille Stupid kindle

TheseAreTheJokesFolks Wed 26-Mar-14 23:28:31


TheseAreTheJokesFolks Wed 26-Mar-14 23:27:49

Hello OP
I had GD for 20 weeks. Had to do bloods low carb and was fine weight wise but low blood sugar for first two days...this was deemed normal by the hospital.
It sucks esp with cravings but you can have the odd treat if you exercise before or are careful with treats I had peanut M+Ms also the occasional mini stickers bar choc almonds and cheese and pineapple sticks. Although watermelon would be bad piece was okay. It is lots to do with the glycaemic index against portion size and balancing a carb with a protein rather than just strict no carbs.
I craved white toast and jam. I ate brown toast with peanut butter.

Big plates of egg bacon mushrooms for breakfast...
Tuna or chicken salad for lunch with avocado cashews cottage cheese cheddar cheese granny Smith slices
Fish or meat with brown rice or wholesale pasta and craftspeople or spinach

Sometimes a big plate of Bolognese or chilli with wholemeal pittabread slices
Different omelettes with rocket
Skewered Marinades meat with heatsink
Fresh fruit in plain yoghurt and nutmeg

Craved juices so ate grapes and befriending moderation
Drank diet coke regardless
Hated Stevia so had sugar in my tea but after a bit of walking

Also relished DH and DD eating bad things as I nicked a spoonful here and there examples a fork full of cheesecake or a little bit of nana without my numbers going crazy

Also I could have been lucky but certain high protein dishes allowed me normal carbs ...spaghetti carbonara was always okay.
Corned beef and baked beans let me have a few potato scallops.
Experiment a little. Weetabix was fine, not for everyone I know. Sardines on brown bread, cheese and ryvita All types of hummus. Lovely.
Good luck xxxx

Tryingtobetidy Wed 26-Mar-14 22:48:17

Very good balanced post fairy

fairylightsintheloft Wed 26-Mar-14 22:45:56

sorry but if your GD is diet controlled you are being rather overdramatic about it. I had to do the same for both my pregnancies and it really wasn't THAT hard. Assuming you usually planned the weekly shop and didn't just randomly chuck stuff in the trolley, this is just a maybe extra few minutes on that. Have sweet potato instead of white, butternut squash works well too as a carb substitute. As for your relatives planning how they will enjoy their holiday - do you really begrudge them? As you say, they are in fact trying to work around you. Having seen one of my friends end up on insulin, in splints due to carpel tunnel and having to balance her other meds for a thyroid condition and depression around the GD, I'm afraid I have to say YABU and try to get a little perspective.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 26-Mar-14 22:43:39

OP I had GD, and while it is a pain it doesn't mean that you can't eat.

I do think you are being unreasonable asking your DH and MIL to only eat what you can.

Also - how are your readings? I could eat wholemeal toast with peanut butter for breakfast and not have a problem, once slice of pizza for lunch sent my readings too high.

Roast dinner, lovely casseroles, smoked salmon, salami, nuts, cheese, olive oil salad dressings etc etc.

Pop over to the low carb threads and have a look at some recipes, you will be much happier if you can work out a more varied diet.

RoundNRoundN Wed 26-Mar-14 22:36:35

OP you have said what you dont like them doing, but its difficult to see what it is you want them to do instead?

Not eat? Just take veg?

You dont have to sit there and starve, you just have to plan a bit more. Meats, cheeses, pork scratchings, yum! Low sugar jellies and yoghurts etc etc etc etc

Tryingtobetidy Wed 26-Mar-14 22:33:02

Mr friend never chose to have coeliac disease. She doesn't walk round expecting her family and friends not to eat wheat based foods in front of her in case she gets tempted

Tryingtobetidy Wed 26-Mar-14 22:31:04

Not exactly something she chose, is it?

I never chose mine either, still would never expect or want others to change around me. Why shouldn't others enjoy their food and eat what they want to eat?

MadAsFish Wed 26-Mar-14 22:23:43

I woud hate for others to change their ways because I had chosen a dietary change

Not exactly something she chose, is it?

justasmallone Wed 26-Mar-14 22:13:36

Bloody hell some harsh replies, when i had gd, i was pregnant and felt so ill plus havi g to deal with a change in diet... Its crap

justasmallone Wed 26-Mar-14 22:11:48

My dh didnt eat anything i couldnt have

KickassCoalition Wed 26-Mar-14 22:10:41

I don't think OP chose GD to be fair.

Tryingtobetidy Wed 26-Mar-14 21:59:02

Trying I stopped drinking when I was pregnant. For my birthday celebration my friends didn't drink. Not because I didn't want them to, but because they didn't want me to feel bad about it. I've never felt so loved

I woud hate for others to change their ways because I had chosen a dietary change

CoffeeTea103 Wed 26-Mar-14 21:57:23

Yabu, and ott by expecting them not to eat what they like. My DH is type 1 and I prepare all his meals, but I also eat whatever i want as well. He's never made Any issue about stopping anyone in our home eating whatever they want.
It seems like they are considering you as well.

justasmallone Wed 26-Mar-14 21:54:05

I found tea cakes and scones fab for a sweet treat with gs

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld Wed 26-Mar-14 21:51:58

It wouldn't take much for them to be a bit more considerate. After all, you're not saying they can't have these things, just that you'd rather they didn't eat them in front of you. You're still getting to grips with it all, and it's easier without the temptation sitting there being all tempting.

Trying I stopped drinking when I was pregnant. For my birthday celebration my friends didn't drink. Not because I didn't want them to, but because they didn't want me to feel bad about it. I've never felt so loved.

Tryingtobetidy Wed 26-Mar-14 21:29:47

Sorry YABU. I followed the same diet and wouldn't have expected anybody around me to change their eating behaviour because of me

Someone at work has given up chocolate for lent, I would still eat chocolate in front of them and they wouldn't expect everyone around them to give up eating it just because one person has given it up for lent

CrohnicallyChanging Wed 26-Mar-14 20:34:10

Would help if i actually posted the link!

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