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To think this woman was being passive aggressive

(20 Posts)
WussyPillow Tue 25-Mar-14 20:06:41

I got on the train when it was not too busy, with toddler DD, then took DD out of her pushchair and found a free seat a few rows away (half hour journey, DD much happier on my lap than strapped in) . Train quickly got quite crowded so was separated from buggy by lots of people. Woman gets on a few stops later with younger baby and has to fold buggy to get on.

She tuts and makes comments to her DD about how annoy

GertTheFlirt Tue 25-Mar-14 20:09:23

She's got a point though hasnt she? you leave an up right buggy and wander off with your toddler. She has a baby and has to collapse hers. it would piss me off no end.

WussyPillow Tue 25-Mar-14 20:11:12

Gah! About how annoying this is. They don't really register with me at the time as busy dealing with bored, tired toddler.

Later, I'm strapping my DD jnto her buggy and she is babbling quietly about this and that and I'm chatting back, when her DD starts contentedly gurgling. She snaps 'no DD, we don't make noises on trains, it's not polite!' Felt this was aimed at me and then realised she was probably hacked off that I hadn't folded my buggy.

Was I in the wrong? I don't know. Her comment was weird anyway - not polite to gurgle??

Rommell Tue 25-Mar-14 20:11:19

You should have folded your buggy. You weren't using it, and it got in someone else's way.

Also, you should have looked up the meaning of 'passive aggressive' before you started a thread with it in the title.

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 25-Mar-14 20:12:15

Why didn't you fold your buggy away when you removed your daughter?

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 25-Mar-14 20:12:26

Erm I agree with gert. Why didn't you fold your buggy?

WussyPillow Tue 25-Mar-14 20:12:52

Yes flirt I did think that, probably was wrong of me. Just didnt register at the time, as was busy dealing with my own stuff.

TeamEdward Tue 25-Mar-14 20:13:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pumpkinpositive Tue 25-Mar-14 20:14:31

YABU not to have folded up your buggy. Particularly since, as you say, the train got crowded.

SWBU with the comment about the gurgling. Unless your idea of "gurgling" is everyone else's idea of high pitched screaming.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 25-Mar-14 20:15:25

Oh well next you know to fold it. She had a fair point

chattychattyboomba Tue 25-Mar-14 20:15:41

If your buggy was easy to fold then you should have probably folded it when you took your DD out, although I can understand why you didn't think to until the train got too crowded to get to it. No biggy. Shit happens. That other mum telling her baby not to make noises on trains as it was impolite sounds like a proper loon though. Nutter! Lol. Therefore I wouldn't let the incident or her opinion bother you. Just learn from it. Next time you could probably do it differently.

WussyPillow Tue 25-Mar-14 20:16:42

I agree, just didnt think (so this is going to be a boring AIBU!) I just wish she'd asked me, instead of getting cross. I'm a decent person and would have got up. Got a lot on my mind right now, more than enough that I think would excuse my absent-mindedness. Not that she was to know.

fuckwittery Tue 25-Mar-14 20:18:12

I'm guessing you didn't realise how busy the train would get and once sat down was tricky to get back to your buggy as the train filled up, I've been on commuter trains where people come on spread out and then train can get packed v quickly. She was being a bit weird about the noise thing and probably was pissed off but what can you do. That sort of thing I tend to tackle head on by saying, I'm sorry if my buggy was in the way I didn't realise the train would get so busy and was sat all the way over there

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 25-Mar-14 20:23:13

I remember huffing and puffing about how someone had parked so close to my car that I couldn't open the door and would have to get in the other side and climb over. The Woman heard me and was completely apologetic and offered to move straight away. I Felt like a right arse! I think we forget that we can all be a bit thoughtless sometimes even when we don't mean to be.

GertTheFlirt Tue 25-Mar-14 20:24:53

I'm sure she had things on her mind too.

No -one is a mind reader

Fantissue Tue 25-Mar-14 21:14:00

Even if there was no other buggy, if the train was busy and you could have done it you should have collapsed yours if it was taking up standing room. A buggy without a child in it for longer than a couple of minutes is basically luggage and should be stowed correctly.

Quangle Tue 25-Mar-14 21:24:05

I like your story itiswhatitis

Sometimes in AIBU, the real answer is yes. And so is everyone else. For being forgetful and then for getting frothy about things that really don't matter. I need to remember this myself. It's nice to be thoughtful but sometimes people are absent minded or tired or whatever and I don't have to come back at them like an arse. <zen>

deakymom Wed 26-Mar-14 13:42:03

do you have a one handed folding pushchair? could you put your child down safely to fold it? did you realise the train would get so busy?

Poogate Wed 26-Mar-14 13:47:02

I think both itiswhatitis and Quangle are spot on.

BornFreeButinChains Wed 26-Mar-14 13:48:25

Trains are a night mare to use for all of us and folding a buggy which is loaded down with shopping all over it - which it usually is it not ideal nor a suitable solution.

dont moan at the woman, write an email complaining about lack of push chair provision on trains to the train company

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