To get irritated when cold-callers demand that I share my state of health with them before they progress with the business in hand.

[alsmutko]

They phone me at work (TPS be damned) saying 'This is Ann Bloggs from Adgigiagghaeia Ltd, how are you today?' So I say 'This is the administrator at Pig Rearing News, how can I help you?' (names changed!). She says 'This is Ann Bloggs from Adgigiagghaeia Ltd, how are you today?' So I say This is Alsmutko at Pig Rearing News, what can I do for you?' and she says 'This is Ann Bloggs from Adgigiagghaeia Ltd, how are you today?'
Until I give up and say 'Fine thank you (thinks: not that it's any of your business and it's not true either) what is the nature of your phone call?'

Just what is it about strangers who feel they need me to say 'I'm fine thank you' when in fact I'd deeply irritated at yet another phone call telling me their prices are the lowest, as indeed all the other companies are too. Whatever happened to a nice polite 'Good morning, I'm representing Adgigiagghaeia Ltd, can I tell you about our latest offer'.

Saying 'how do you do' when you meet someone is fine, you don't expect an answer, it's just polite, and I thought the 'how are you today' should be treated in the same manner, as a politism, but no they actually want to know how I am. As long as I don't actually tell them: 'oh my knees are hurting today and I've got a slight sore throat'...

Oh and did I say we've signed up to TPS?

[ooerrmissus]

Give them an indepth description of your piles and the state of your in-grown toenail, that'll stop the buggers.

[starfishmummy]

What ooeer says. Although maybe not if you work in an open plan office!

[trambampoline]

My DP answers the phone to them with "999 what's your emergency?" and then berates them for making a prank call to the emergency services, and tells them how it is illegal and the call is being traced.

It's funniest when you can hear the panic in their voice as they try to explain its an auto dialler.

[alsmutko]

Woah, trambampoline I love it!
Unfortunately I don't know who the caller is until I've answered (wish I had caller ID or whatever it's called).

[trambampoline]

we don't give out our landline number so we know if its ringing it's a cold caller!

In fact I don't even KNOW our number - we only have it to get broadband!

[NearTheWindymill]

"I'm awfully sorry but where did I meet you; I'm afraid I only respond to inquiries from people I actually know" ....................."I'm sorry, where did you say we met?" ......................"but I only give my number to friends and we are registered with the TPS" There is usually then a clunk

[ForalltheSaints]

I make sure any conversation with cold callers is as short as possible. If a law could be framed that made it illegal, I'd support it.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

Next time they ask "how are you today" I will reply as my young son did to a similar enquiry the other day when he said "I'm ok but I really need a poo" then put the phone down

[TabithaMcKitten]

In my experience they don't tend to like it if you actually do tell them how you really are. One poor guy got a lengthy story about my poor damaged spine and my child's cancer diagnosis once . He still tried bloody hard to sell me a gym membership though!

[EthelDorothySusan]

I think I will tell them how I am next time, what an excellent idea

[Kippersbigfeet]

My son replies that his erectile dysfunction is getting worse. It backfired once when the caller was trying to sell medical insurance and got into a full blown conversation about how it would be covered with the insurance

[SaucyJack]

This why I always get the kids to answer the phone.