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What's the reasonable thing to do?

(23 Posts)
Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 16:38:37

Sorry, it's not really an AIBUR but more of help me! What is the reasonable thing to to!

My 4yr old son has had a playdate all afternoon, they were playing outside and my neighbour was in her garden. She had just had a carpet fitter in to put a nice new cream carpet on her stairs (can you see where this is going??)... He had literally just driven off after laying it..... Well, she invited my son and her friend in to her garden to feed the chickens. After about 15 minutes of playing in there we ushered them out of the garden and my neighbour said that they must wash their hands now.... well before we knew it my son's friend ran in to her house (the front door was left open) and straight up the stairs!.... Mud & chicken shit all over the 10 minute old cream carpets! OMG I was mortified!!!!

She was laughing it off saying not to worry, when it dries she'll clean it off and it'll be fine. But I knew it bothered her... she mentioned about how her husband will be really bothered! (I'm dreading him coming home from work!) and what if it doesn't come off? I have offered to clean it for her, and to pay for a professional to come in.... Do you think this is reasonable to offer? It's just that I know my OH will go mad at me offering as he is not fond of my friend's little boy as he's a bit of a tearaway at times, plus I'm on mat leave & have no idea how much it's going to cost!...

I mentioned it to my son's friend's mum, but just sort of played it down as I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to pay the cleaning bill.

What do you think? What would you do if you were in either shoes? I am soo upset by this sad

monkeyfacegrace Tue 25-Mar-14 16:44:19

These things happen.

You offer to clean it. A proffesional, truck mounted steam clean will cost £25 max.

A bottle of wine may help too smile

And, to be fair, she was the one who invited them over....

magimedi Tue 25-Mar-14 16:45:07

I think the mud will brush off just fine when it is dry.

truelymadlysleepy Tue 25-Mar-14 16:49:59

I would go & inspect it when it's dried off. If there's even a tiny stain I would pay for professional cleaning, insist even.

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 17:18:48

Thank you everyone. Glad to know it wouldn't be too expensive to clean. I was thinking £100 mark!.... A bottle of wine sounds good too.

She didn't invite them in to her house, but she did say she shouldn't have left the door open....

She doesn't have children so doesn't really understand how 3-4yr olds work. I will see her tomorrow (avoiding her scary husband!) and ask if it came off.... If not I will insist on paying.... Just dread explaing to OH eek!

ViviPru Tue 25-Mar-14 17:22:15

You all sound waaaay too reasonable for an AIBU thread.

blanchedeveraux Tue 25-Mar-14 17:26:03

I'm inclined to think she's totally U for having gotten cream carpets! These things happen though, we recently had our hall recarpeted only for the dog to honk up on it almost the moment it was laid (and he's NEVER sick). Two days later DD dropped a pot of chocolate mousse on it...buggeration....

Guitargirl Tue 25-Mar-14 17:31:48

I think you and your neighbour were equally at fault for this happening to be honest. And you're right, definitely not reasonable to expect the boy's mum to pay towards the bill.

WooWooOwl Tue 25-Mar-14 17:36:08

I don't think you had any choice but to offer to pay for a professional clean really.

I don't think the neighbour was at fault, she was trying to do a nice thing by letting the children feed the chickens.

I don't think the friends mum has any responsibility to pay either, and it's shit that it falls to you, but that's the way it is.

GertTheFlirt Tue 25-Mar-14 17:44:48

Sorry, but the neighbour invited them in , and that is what house insurance is for.

Pumpkinpositive Tue 25-Mar-14 17:50:25

That sounds like one, erm... forward little boy. I can't imagine just bolting into the house of a near stranger at that age. Think I would naturally have waited to get back to your house before rolling on grubbying the carpet. grin

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 17:51:46

Haha, that's what I thought Blanche... but then, she doesn't have children/pets (besides chickens who doon't go in the house!) so I guess cream isn't too much of an odd choice in that respect.

Yes I totally agree that it has nothing to do with boy's mum.... which is why I played it down and said both the boys went in. I thought I should say something to her just incase her son mentions it. I just know my OH will be pissed as he's not a fan of the little boy.... but hey ho, these things happen as pp has said.

Just out of interest, it has really upset me that this has happened and I am completely mortified! Is this the right way to react or should I be a bit more relaxed about it?.... How would you feel if it was your child/child's friend?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Tue 25-Mar-14 17:52:22

Oh poor thing. Both you and her sound very reasonable, and nice!

Yes, go and inspect tomorrow, if there is a mark, offer to pay for cleaning...she will refuse though - phew! Take her a bunch of daffodils.

Topseyt Tue 25-Mar-14 17:52:50

As a mum of three children and the owner of two dogs and a cat, I assure you that mud does usually vacuum off well once it has dried.

I think you have acted very reasonably. Just give her a call tomorrow to check that it did vacuum off properly. If it didn't then you can hire a carpet shampooer to do the job yourself, which is likely to be cheaper than paying a cleaning firm to come in and do it.

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 17:53:59

Yes Pumpkin, completely agree! Both me and neighbour were pretty shocked to find him at the top of her stairs! Esp as my son was waiting at my front door to go in to his house.... you'd think that he'd have just followed my son :/..... Itn hindsight I also think it was my fault for not supervising them coming out of the garden, but as I say I did not expect them just to wander in to someone elses house!

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 17:57:23

Thank you lifeisbetter..... funnily enough, she gave me some daffodils last week as they'd been away for a few days and their fire alarm was going off keeping us awake for 3 nights! It didn't bother me but was nice to recieve the flowers..... I will return the favour with wine I think smile

I really hope so topsey!.... Our other neighbour has a vax carpet washer, which she will lend over. If that doesn't work then I will pay for a professional..... I just feel bad, like I should be over there now cleaning it for her! (although I have a 5 month old to feed lol!)

JeanSeberg Tue 25-Mar-14 17:58:16

Can we find nothing to claim you've been unreasonable about????

Oh I know .... YABU to be so reasonable!


Pumpkinpositive Tue 25-Mar-14 18:02:25

Well, you sound eminently reasonable. I really wouldn't beat myself up over it. You couldn't have predicted the kid would have invited himself into neighbour's house and it was a unique set of circumstances which combined (little boy, chickens, new carpet, open door) to create the situation and are never likely to repeat.

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 18:03:42

Haha Jean.... I will try to think of another questin to get everyone riled!

Thanks Pumpkin x

HeadfirstForTHiddy Tue 25-Mar-14 18:21:08

I think you are being unreasonable for being scared of your and your neighbours dh's reactions! Shit happens. It will most likely hoover off, if it doesn't all come off the vax will work. It's fixable.

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 18:35:00

Thanks headfirst!.... But I am scared of neighbours dh's reaction more than my dh's.... He's a bit of a spoilt mummy's boy and will definately hold a grudge for atleast a few months!... I'm not looking forward to his sulky face!... Hopefully I can resolve and offer assistance all whilst he's working!

HeadfirstForTHiddy Tue 25-Mar-14 18:44:15

Yeah, it's not nice to be at odds with a neighbour, we used to live next door to a guy like that, his wife was lovely though. Hopefully it will all come off before he sees it.

I don't think it was anyones fault, it was just a series of events that led to an accident.

Moomey Tue 25-Mar-14 20:09:05

Ooh, I've just had a knock at the door!.... Neighbour's dh will be home now.

I didn't answer! It's late, my 5 mnth old is feeding, I'm tired from having two 4yr olds running riot all afternoon. Even if he's okay with it I don't want to talk about it right now!

Gosh, it might not have even been him! I'm paranoid!!

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