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I am being very U, aren't I, to be pissed off with DP for striking

(108 Posts)
PollyCazaletWannabe Sun 23-Mar-14 12:37:38

DP and I are both teachers. DP had been at the same school for 11 years but resigned in December after basically being pushed into it by unpleasant bullying HT. Since then she has had some supply work but this has not been regular- she only recently got a long term supply job but this finishes at May half term; she is also not paid for the Easter holidays. Although we can manage on my salary, we have had to cut back; we can't really afford to go out more than once a month and have had to cancel a break we were planning at Easter. (BTW I realise we are much, much better off than many, but we are a lot worse off than before).

We are both NUT members but DP is much more involved than me. When this Wednesday's strike was announced, I told DP that I wouldn't be striking as the money I would lose was equivalent to a whole week's budget for food, travel and the Friday night takeaway which is now our only treat. She wasn't working at the time but agreed.

Now she is working she has said she is going to strike, and is also banging on at me about the political reasons for doing so, making me feel guilty for not striking. AIBU to feel aggrieved? I have basically been supporting us since Dec and am going against my principles and not striking for money reasons. DP seems to be ignoring our day to day situation in favour of her principles. I'm cross- AIBU?

SuffolkNWhat Sun 23-Mar-14 12:40:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewBeginings Sun 23-Mar-14 12:40:28

Yabu, I respect anyone who has the courage of their convictions even to their own (in this case, slight) detriment

SuffolkNWhat Sun 23-Mar-14 12:41:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caramelwaffle Sun 23-Mar-14 12:43:08

You are being unreasonable.

This stuck out for me.

"I wouldn't be striking as the money I would lose was equivalent to a whole week's budget for food, travel and the Friday night takeaway which is now our only treat."

CrystalBeth Sun 23-Mar-14 12:43:36

YANBU, however I just disagree with striking as a concept. It's basically "you're not doing what I want so I'm not going to work <stamps foot>".

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 23-Mar-14 12:44:44

If you are a member of a union that has conducted a legal ballot and then decides to call a strike, I think YABVVVVU if you don't also turn out. This is part of the deal of union membership: if you don't like it, rescind your union membership or find another one.

Lilithmoon Sun 23-Mar-14 12:45:57

YABVU you can't take from your union with one hand and not give with the other. Stand up and be counted!

Nomama Sun 23-Mar-14 12:47:00

Striking is foot stamping, strop throwing?

OK! That's me told. Now I know I have to take the shit being poured upon my head and cannot expect to have my voice heard!


PollyCazaletWannabe Sun 23-Mar-14 12:48:27

Hmmm I feared this eould be the case! OK, IABU. I will consider striking. Thanks MN. I think tbh my annoyance is part of the wider issues I have about DP and her attitude to money.

PollyCazaletWannabe Sun 23-Mar-14 12:49:19

Should add- I have always been out on strike

PollyCazaletWannabe Sun 23-Mar-14 12:50:24

Should read: I have always been out on strike before. I think our new money situation is freaking me out a bit.

mycatoscar Sun 23-Mar-14 12:50:47

Yabu and seem very resentful towards your dp. Maybe you need to discuss that with her.

EdithWeston Sun 23-Mar-14 12:51:07

You need to change Unions, to one that doesn't strike or has a conscience clause which makes striking optional.

YABU to belong to a union and defy it on strikes.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sun 23-Mar-14 12:51:18

Go on strike with your DP and do something together you both believe in. It can't have been easy for her being pushed out of a job like that - has she never supported you through a tough time?

MyNameIsKenAdams Sun 23-Mar-14 12:52:30

But if she wasnt working on strike day, she wouldnt earn a penny either. yabu.

You may not want to strike but it is damn unreasonable to expect others to or not.

MajorBumsore Sun 23-Mar-14 12:56:08

I am presuming that you would be more than happy to take up the hard fought for benefits that your striking colleagues have attained for your profession OP? Or perhaps, as you haven't fought for for them (and have enjoyed your take away instead) you will be refusing new pay and conditions? Boils my piss.
Where on earth do those who glibly refuse to strike think worker's rights come from? Capitalism does not encourage a philanthropic view from 'the bosses'. Where would women's voting rights be without the suffragette movement?

Dawndonnaagain Sun 23-Mar-14 12:56:09

YABVU. You joined a union, you agree to abide by its decisions. Apart from which, Gove is an ass, as you well know.
Crystal unions protect all of us, it is not a foot stamping exercise.

ThatBloodyWoman Sun 23-Mar-14 12:56:51

If you are in a union and they call a strike, you strike.

That's the point of it.

I get annoyed at people who join a union, expect help, back up and legal advice on tap, but when something needs doing collectively they don't want to miss their takeaway.

It's very unreasonable to expect others to fight the cause and suffer the consequences on your behalf.

caramelwaffle Sun 23-Mar-14 12:58:38

Well said bumsore

Whathaveiforgottentoday Sun 23-Mar-14 13:04:59

I think YABU. If you don't agree with being on strike, leave the NUT and join another union.
We were balloted on whether we supported a strike which is when you had your chance to express your opinion. Did you send back your ballot?
I voted no (don't think striking is the way forward) but do totally support what the union are fighting for. However I will be supporting my union by not working on Wednesday as it is important to be united in action.

MooMaid Sun 23-Mar-14 13:10:35

I can see both sides - your immediate concern is money and so you're worried about your immediate future. Not striking will make you feel a little bit more secure money wise.

However long term you need to consider what striking will/won't do for you and consider whether or not this small loss of money will be worth it in the future.

I'm not a teacher, I'm not in a union so I find the idea of striking difficult (not the actual cause etc of doing it, but the having the guts to do it without consequences like being sacked purely because I'm not in that environment so I don't know the rules around it!).

But going forward consider whether or not you want to be in the union. If it doesn't meet your needs/current situation then leave but don't feel pressurised to do something you don't want to do, but equally don't pretend to support your colleagues/union if you don't really

AgentProvocateur Sun 23-Mar-14 13:11:30

MajorBumsore has already said exactly what I was planning to. I cannot understand the mentality of oeople who join a union, expect to benefit from the terms and conditions that the union has negotiated, but who won't support that Union if it causes them any inconvenience at all.

You don't get to pick and choose - the whole point of a union is collective bargaining and collective action.

ilovesooty Sun 23-Mar-14 13:14:26

You're the unreasonable one. Kudos to your partner who understands what union membership means. Join a non striking union if you can't grasp that concept.

AuntieMaggie Sun 23-Mar-14 13:17:08

It's basically "you're not doing what I want so I'm not going to work <stamps foot>". Really? There are lots of things we take for granted these days that have only been made possible because of people being willing to stand up and take action.

OP I think YABU but can understand why you're worried.

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