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... To ask society and parents to stop outsourcing raising children as human being to schools?

(140 Posts)
Lagos Sun 23-Mar-14 12:24:18

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MyNameIsKenAdams Sun 23-Mar-14 12:26:58

I feel exasperated at times at the amount of stuff people say "well, school should be teachig them that" - telling time, dressing, manners, sex ed, how to tie laces etc.

tbh I think its up to parents to teach their kids how to count, write and read, as an extension of teaching them to talk.

Nomama Sun 23-Mar-14 12:28:24

Oh yes!

Sirzy Sun 23-Mar-14 12:34:10

I think in a way it shows how the education system is letting young people down in its effort to get exam results. Often nothing else seems to matter.

Of course parents need to take responsibility, but at the same time the only way we can break cycles of deprivation/ignorance is for schools and other bodies to attempt to help with that side of things.

When a child leaves school ideally they should be a well rounded individual and schools play a role in that.

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 23-Mar-14 12:35:51

What do I want form DC teachers, is for them to teach them.

Maths, English, science, geography, history and other subjects.

I'm the mother and I want to be able to teach my children life skills. I think it's my responsibility to do this, not a teacher who are overloaded with other things.

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 23-Mar-14 12:36:02

What Sirzy said

Whathaveiforgottentoday Sun 23-Mar-14 12:36:44

I totally agree. While I think it is the schools responsibility to reinforce all of these things, from good manners to promoting self esteem, the lessons start at home.
As a parent (not a teacher) I have found when school covers a topic, it is easier to reinforce at home which works really well for things like telling the time (not that we hadn't been trying before she did it at school, but she only really got it after covering it at school). Self esteem, confidence really come from home and schools will find it an uphill battle to develop these skills if there is little input from home, but as anybody who works in education will tell you, schools do try to instill these values.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sun 23-Mar-14 12:38:04

<applauds OP>

Lagos Sun 23-Mar-14 12:38:40

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CoffeeTea103 Sun 23-Mar-14 12:38:46

Well said op.

Seems the school is the scapegoat for all parenting failures.

NormHonal Sun 23-Mar-14 12:39:02

What ICanSeeTheSun said.

But I want to add the caveat that in order to have the time to teach my children important life skills, I'd like the school work to stay in school hours (i.e. no or at least a lot less homework).

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 23-Mar-14 12:40:09

I agree. They seem to be responsible for virtually everything now I'm surprised there's time for any teaching.

Parental involvement is just as important we have a responsibility to support our children. School arebt there to take over our jobs.

ziggiestardust Sun 23-Mar-14 12:41:55

Children should naturally learn life skills and build their character by being with their family, and taking part in family life.

MrsBartowski Sun 23-Mar-14 12:43:44

When I took DS to school on his first day one of the mothers said she was glad she didn't have to do the boring things like teach her to tie shoe laces anymore.

I don't get how so many parents can box up the whole education of their child and hand it over to the teacher like that without ever having any involvement or bitterly complaining at having to supervise homework at least

Oblomov Sun 23-Mar-14 12:45:19

You can tell? When a child has had time , silent with them. So they can express their emotions etc.
not in our case. I am the most open Person . Can talk emotions all day long.
Ds1 can not.
I am confident , he is not.
But I don't expect school to do this. I never said you should.

MissDuke Sun 23-Mar-14 12:46:32

I totally agree! But at the same time, older children spend so much of their time at school, they are there for more hours in the week than they are at home - so I guess schooling is such a huge part of our children's lives that it is only natural that they will have an influence on other things and not just their education. If that makes any sense at all :-/ However primarily it should certainly be the responsibility of the parents to teach their children how to behave etc!!!

bochead Sun 23-Mar-14 12:50:58

Sadly the last government decided that the nanny state is superior to parents, hence we got the lunch box police and all kinds of other nonsense added to schools role.

I wish school staff were allowed to concentrate on education alone - then maybe they'd be able to cope better with children like my son, who is now home edded, partly because his special needs means he needs most of his day spent on pure learning if he's to have any hope of a decent outcome.

I imagine most teachers went into the profession to educate in their chosen subjects, (or the 3r's if Primary) and would far rather spend their time doing that and researching how to improve their teaching practice than the nonsensical stuff that has been added into their role in recent years.

I feel quite strongly that we need to let schools get back to their core role of teaching academics, sports and the arts, and also let parents get on and parent iyswim. If an 11 year old boy wants condoms the place to ask for them should not be in school, and if a parent wants to give their child a choccy biccy in their lunch box on Fridays that shouldn't be anyone elses business either. Likewise having to beg for permission to attend a family funeral is not on.

It's my job to teach my kid manners, I only expect school to have to prompt him if he forgets them, same as I would any other adult. It's NOT their job to have to introduce him to the core concepts of "please" & "thank you" in the first place as that frankly insults their role as educators imho. Parents who expect this (with the exception of a few SN pupils) are bang out of order. Life skills should be taught by parents throughout a child's life until they are adults, not delegated to schools who only have control for 6 hours a day, some of the year.

By the same token once hospital staff have visited and explained to school staff a medical diagnosis, it is NOT the teacher's job to query or question it at every turn as schools now overstep the mark here too on a regular basis. It is certainly not for school staff to openly blame my parenting for the fact my 8 year old can't use cutlery. This nanny state approach has given some school staff the impression that they are experts on all aspects of child development, when they are not.

The most inspirational teachers and educators I have met in recent years have all left the state sector, and I can't help feeling that is a terrible shame. To a man it is because that core role of passing on knowledge to the next generation & inspiring a life long love of their subject in the children they taught was being increasingly sidelined in favour of being the nanny states mindless repeater.

Lagos Sun 23-Mar-14 12:51:50

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SaucyJack Sun 23-Mar-14 12:53:39

The trouble is when your kids are smallish (as mine are) then so much of their waking time seems to be spent at school- or travelling to and from- that there hardly seems to be much time left to learn all the other stuff.

TruffleOil Sun 23-Mar-14 12:55:23

But the "culture" we live in is so much more pervasive than it was than 50 years ago - even good, involved parents have less influence. Parents could use a little back-up.

Lagos Sun 23-Mar-14 12:57:32

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Gileswithachainsaw Sun 23-Mar-14 12:58:04

Presumably though things like saying please and thank you, using cutlery, using toilet, dressing themselves, feeding themselves, taking turns etc have all been taught in the 4/5 yrs before they start?

(Discounting children who need ongoing support with these things due to medical needs of course)

Sirzy Sun 23-Mar-14 13:03:06

The issue with leaving everything bar the education side to parents is that those children who for whatever reason have parents who can't/won't support their child as much as is really needed by school not taking some role this we are putting them at a greater disadvantage.

A balanced education isn't simply about academics, and some of the role of the teacher has to cover the wider development of the individual. Yes the academics has to come first but there is no point providing an excellent academic education if the young person isn't capable of having basic life skills needed

Lagos Sun 23-Mar-14 13:03:39

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BabyMummy29 Sun 23-Mar-14 13:04:32

Excellent post Lagos - reiterates exactly what myself and colleagues are continually saying.

We often joke in the staffroom that soon we'll be picking the kids up to bring them to school, taking them home, giving them dinner, bathing them and putting them to bed.

Sadly there are some parents who probably wish that we would.

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