Aarrgghh Bloody Kids <<fumes>>
DD (8) has a friend over today.
So far they have smashed the glass shelf in the bathroom, shouted "fart" and "poo" out the window at the next door neighbour and pulled the towel rail off the wall in the downstairs loo.
But the crowning glory was the decision to jump off the garden table onto the giant outdoor beanbag, splitting it and making me have to spend the last hour chasing round the garden trying to get as many polystyrene balls as possible.
I'm furious. DD has NEVER been like this. I am SO pissed off with her.
Two hours till the friend goes home and I can't even have a beer.
LtEve, sounds like the play date from hell!
But, even though both girls behaved really badly, they are nine, & as you said, were being silly & egging each other on.
I absolutely agree there should be consequences, & your dd has had several. But the loss of her main birthday present? She went to bed early, lost out on activity today, & doesn't get the sleep-over. Fair enough. If you want her to pay for the bean bag, could she not give you some from her pocket money each week? It was your dd & her friend that broke it, but your dd is having to take full responsibility.
It is mean to take away her main present-it's her birthday, & a year is a long time to wait for another one. Even if you are relieved,(could have been worse-could have been a drum kit!), if she has lessons, she may learn to play really well.
Sorry- just realised your dd is still getting sleep-over with one friend. Are there other consequences that you could use, without loss of main birthday present?
I think your resolution to this situation is fine, Lt. Eve. You've given your DD the big consequence, losing her main present, which will stick with her far longer than losing her sleepover, and doesn't affect the other friend, who was clearly looking forward to the event.
It's a shame you said that she could think again about whether her sleepover was happening, but you've downscaled it and commuted it to losing her present, so it's not like she feels she's "got away with it".
I think as well though that you should now have her out in the garden trying to find and pick up as many of the remaining polystyrene balls, because they could still have an impact, and it is her fault they're out there. Just to really ram the message home - I'm a strong believer in consequences relating to the initial "offence" and think that it would really make her realise what an utter arse she was yesterday, and her friend too.
I would also say, just watch out with New Friend's mum, that she doesn't bring her DD to the cinema and then just peg off, leaving New Friend with you and the other 2.
OP I hate to tell you, but I had one of those bean bag things break in the pool once. We were finding beans for five years afterwards!! They will never go away completely, even when you think you have got them all!
Thanks, well we did get some more balls yesterday but oh my God they are everywhere. We've kept them out of the rabbit pen so far but wherever you look you see a few. It's like confetti at a wedding, you think it's all gone then find it in your bra!
She seems ok this morning, her class has non-uniform today so she's happy about that. The guitar thing will prob come up again on Wed when she has her music lesson (cornet) but maybe we will revisit when we've moved. For now though she will go without.
Hopefully she will be ok at school. It's a hard year group, only 5 girls so could be hard if yesterday friend holds a grudge. DH will hav to cope with mum though if there is an issue. Good!
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