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To consider doing this (revenge related) ?

(66 Posts)
California123 Fri 21-Mar-14 23:23:46

I am 22.

I was bullied at the age of 14 in year 9 by a group of girls who branded me a lesbian and spread rumours about me to the whole class ( academic all girls school) . Everyone used to be friends with everyone and it was a whole class thing.The girls who I thought were my friends did nothing and didn't stand up for me when I needed them the most. I felt they had chosen them over me.

I remember walking in the changing room and everyone stopped talking.said it girl actually looked at me and laughed.I was the overweight and shy child- I didn't say anything to the group but this hurt so badly, I couldn't trust anyone in my class and I was angry at myself for letting this happen.I spiralled into depression and self harm and was so desperate to belong.

I stayed at that school till I was 16 as it was academic my parents didn't want to move me as we had already started gcse work. I spent those two years feeling so worthless and was sick.I had no self confidence and developed anxiety about talking to strangers and eating in front of others.

It has been 7 years since I left. Yes it doesn't hurt the same but I have accepted things.

I started a degree in biomedical science and am finishing this year but have BEEN offered a place at medical school!!!!

I truly want to rub it in their noses- I have some girls from my class on facebook but want to add others just so they could see my public message along the lines of saying thank you to everyone who made my life hell at 14 - couldn't be here without you.

Or should it just leave it?

Davinadivine Fri 21-Mar-14 23:26:49

The best revenge is living well. Fuck them and don't stoop to their level.
Congratulations on your success!

BondBasildonBond Fri 21-Mar-14 23:27:45

Leave it.
Become the best bloody doctor you can be, and hope that one day you are treating them for piles, or something equally embarrassing. They'll remember it well.

Congratulations on getting into medical school.
The best revenge is to live well.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Fri 21-Mar-14 23:27:59

Leave it.

BondBasildonBond Fri 21-Mar-14 23:28:13

Ooh, x-post.

MarvellousMabel Fri 21-Mar-14 23:29:27

No - be the better person.

Play the long game.

Congratulations though x

NurseyWursey Fri 21-Mar-14 23:29:30

Leave it.

I went through the same as you, they can all see me now all happy whilst they're doing fuck all with their lives.

Being happy is definitely the best form of revenge.

NurseyWursey Fri 21-Mar-14 23:29:45

and well done to you! good on you for battling through it all

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 21-Mar-14 23:31:19

Leave it. I hate to say it, but they probably won't care. You've got nothing to prove to them. Don't give them a second thought, go and have a great time and become a great Dr.

HauntedNoddyCar Fri 21-Mar-14 23:36:00

Oh well done!

I got bullied at school. It's much further away for me as I'm twice your age. The thing is that you're winning but you still care about what they think. Where you need to be is just you're winning for you, not them.

So no updates. It could get twisted. Just leave them behind because they don't matter.

Good luck smile

ThistleVille Fri 21-Mar-14 23:49:36

Well done you!
Don't bother posting, word will get back to the bullies one way or another.
Why let them think they matter?
Enjoy your life.

Pilgit Sat 22-Mar-14 00:00:51

Don't do it. Why are you friends with these people on facebook? Leave them all behind and live your life. I was horridly bullied at school and it has driven me to succeed. I now have these same people trying to friend me on facebook. The most revenge I get is to relish ignoring them. I don't want them to be part of any part of my life. I am me, now. That was part of my life and has left scars but the best revenge is to not need it. To be successful and to have a full life that I am happy with.

MamaPingu Sat 22-Mar-14 00:03:01

Haha I dare say I'd do it!!

I'm maybe not pick them out of it as such by saying about people who made your life hell.
I would simply post to celebrate the news in a very positive tone, none of this "thanks for being shitty" type stuff smile

Everyone else has said to leave it haha grin but I do get furious with people like this because I'm so nice and would never intentionally hurt someone, so because I don't understand why they do it I get very frustrated.

Personally I'd post it but just celebrate your achievement without the bitterness smile

MamaPingu Sat 22-Mar-14 00:04:52

Like the poster above me said why do you have them on Facebook.
If you really feel like you wan them to know I would possibly add them, do your post then either block and delete them or use the unfollow button so you can't see them smile

I recently unfollowed a group of morons I was once friends with and my happiness has sky rocketed. Really I should delete Facebook altogether but we will see.... grin

aermingers Sat 22-Mar-14 00:04:56

Leave it. They will get to hear. And really, they're nothing to you, worth less than a spec of dust on your shoe. Don't give them headspace.

Although the girl who bullied me at school is on Facebook and she looks like ten ton tessy and has a shit job and a string of failed relationships which I find hilarious!

bochead Sat 22-Mar-14 00:05:22

"Best revenge is always a life well lived".

"Getting better mentally after betrayal is always more constructive in the long term than getting bitter".

"Success has many fathers, failure is always a bastard" wink.

Quotes from my late father, who suffered some truly terrible setbacks and betrayals over his life time, but ALWAYS bounced back.

makemineapinot Sat 22-Mar-14 00:05:56

I would delete the former bullies from my fb friend list - a very clear message to the. Move on and leave them in your wake!

NurseyWursey Sat 22-Mar-14 00:16:34

If you keep thinking about them then they still have a hold over you, you need to beat this and forget about them. Easier said than done I know, I still think about the people who bullied me. I think about how they turned me into something I wasn't. How they made me fight back to stop them from hurting me and I turned into this violent girl I wasn't supposed to be.

You've done excellently, don't let them continue to be an influence on your life thanks

missingmumxox Sat 22-Mar-14 00:20:24

So you want to let them know that years later they still have power over you? Way to go??

No, don't do it.
they are possibly perfectly nice people now, you and they are no long 14 time to move on.

If they are still awful then you have just given them a huge amount of rope to hoist you with ... Medical school is a long and hard process and I have a lot of friends who dropped out or finished and hated it they left soon after qualifying.
What if one if them is already a qualified doctor/nurse med professional? If you are personal your name could be mud before you even it the wards....the medical world is extremely small and the movement if staff between hospitals means the rumour mill especially about docs on rotation is rife.

Just get on with it forget them and if you bump into them give them a cheery wave, ask how they are, and if they enquire tell them.

This is the best way and leaves you with your dignity.

I was bullied and have over the past 20 odd years since school ran into most of my tormentors and they mostly have been really nice, one or 2 apologised and told me about their guilt and embarrassment over the years.

missingmumxox Sat 22-Mar-14 00:20:47

Nursery xposts

Jolleigh Sat 22-Mar-14 00:22:23

If you're going to get revenge, at least think of something juicier than that wink

Honestly, they'll barely notice, let alone care. Chances are many of them turned out to be quite well rounded individuals if it was a full class worth of the little shits. Try not to carry so much hatred for them around with you - I also got bullied a lot so know that's easier said than done.

The best thing you can do is make the best of yourself.

And of course, you can then relish the moments in the future when you're treating one of them for something really embarrassing grin

KhloeKardashian Sat 22-Mar-14 00:25:33

They have not caused anything long lasting in your life still causing you harm, though the mental torment is still there. Let it go.

Well done in all that you have achieved.

NurseyWursey Sat 22-Mar-14 00:26:36

Mental torment is long lasting, and does cause you harm. Not all harm is physical.

Financeprincess Sat 22-Mar-14 00:34:23

Don't do it. You will look pathetic, which you are clearly not.

missingwelliesinsd Sat 22-Mar-14 00:35:01

I could have been you in secondary school. I joined a lower-average secondary school knowing nobody because I'd previously attended a private primary school. Over the years there I was bullied constantly - chubby, plain, too posh sounding etc...
Guess what? I went to a great university, traveled, lived around the world and I now live in Sunny California (over a decade now with my DH.) I'm an attorney. I love my life, and I discovered a love of working out, so I'm in pretty good shape, best ever in fact.

So... on a rare occasion I'll take a quick look on FB at the lives of those awful girls (who somehow forgot they ever bullied me and friended me on FB.) Those girls look pretty crap, older than their years, out of shape and their lives are not enviable to anyone these days.

So I get your urge. My advice, just get on with your own wonderful life and if you ever need to feel a bit better about yourself compared to those girls, just take a second to look at their FB pages and see how their lives are doing. Trust me, they will be aware of how well your life is going through FB as well- that's the best revenge and you won't even have to point it out to them because they'll be looking at your FB page too!

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