AIBU to think that in general cancer fundrasing campaigns are getting quite tasteless / disrespectful?

[KitKat1985]

Hello all.

Not sure if I'm just being grumpy here (pregnancy hormones) but in general are other people finding that a lot of 'cancer fundraising campaigns' are getting quite tasteless, or even disrespectful? Twenty years ago most fundraising seemed to come from marathon runners, or from bake sales, or charity shops, or even street collections. They may not have made millions, but at least they were dignified and inoffensive.

I'm not going to go into the [infamous] 'no make-up selfie' debate, suffice to say that in my opinion I found the whole thing shallow and the concept of 'braving' your make-up less face as in some way uniting yourself with the bravery of cancer victims quite offensive. The latest craze now seems to be for men to post a picture of themselves with their 'cock in your sock' as a way of fundraising for testicular cancer. I do understand that these campaigns make a lot of money and draw a lot of attention, but AIBU in finding them a bit tasteless, or even offensive? Over the past 5 years I've had to watch my Dad slowly battle cancer, and we know his situation long-term will be terminal. I've had to deal with watching him screaming in pain, go through months of chemo, and God-knows how many anxious nights whilst he's in hospital. My Mum is facing spending her retirement alone, and as a couple my Dad not being able to work for 5 years has essentially ruined them financially. Is it really that wrong that I'd just like to see some cancer fundraising campaign that deals with the issue of cancer with a bit of sensitivity, respect and dignity? Or should I just accept that this is the best way for charities to make the most money now and 'anything goes'?

[Diane31]

I said to my husband just tonight that there is a lot of charity stuff (especially cancer) all over the place, can't get away from it. From reading your post, you have made me think and I actually agree with you. My extended family and close friends have lost people in their 40s and 50s to cancer in the last few years so I have been affected and do sympathise but well, it is getting too much. I also don't like the advert "we're coming to get you". Many people probably do and may be it does have an effect, but I personally do not like it.

[Annunziata]

YANBU. Who isn't aware of cancer, really? It's just showing off in a pink tutu or no make up.

Stupid adverts.

[amouseinawindmill]

I agree. What awareness does it raise? Awareness should go hand in hand with educaion. These Facebook fads do not educate.

[littlebluedog12]

It's a difficult one. I lost my mum to cancer as a teenager and I have to say if Facebook had been around back then and all my mates were posting self-indulgent no make up photos "for cancer" then my reaction would have been along the lines of fuck you and your fucking selfie, you don't have a clue. It was all so raw.

Now, I guess I can see the justification that anything to raise money, and to make giving money to charity a 'cool' (for want of a better word) thing to do is a good thing.

I'm very sorry about your dad

[amouseinawindmill]

oh dear, *education...

[HarpyFishwifeTwat]

I agree with you but if you say anything publicly you're virtually accused of wanting people to die of cancer.

I hate the idea that going make-up less is something brave to do. I hate the attitude I had when I queried the benefit of the selfies which was "my mum had cancer and she approves so your opinion isn't valid".

I hate the "if you fight cancer you're so brave and will beat it" message. As if people who have died have somehow been just that little bit lacking in strength.

I'm glad £2m has been raised, Cancer UK did a good thing piggy backing onto the meme and creating an opportunity for fundraising but really I hate the emotional blackmail that goes with questioning tactics.

[AlbertoFrog]

I'm sorry you feel this way but personally I don't care how tasteful or tasteless a campaign is if it brings in the money to find a cure for this awful disease.

I have been donating monthly for years but it's not enough. It takes these high profile campaigns to bring in the money needed for research.

If people want to post naked pictures or place their cock in their sock then so be it.

It's too late for some of my family but I'd put up with anything in order for my DM to be told she'll survive.

[ScarletLady02]

I was totally against all the recent stuff on Facebook but it's raised a huge amount of money so I've changed my mind a bit.

I lost my Mum just before Christmas after a long "brave battle" against cancer.

Cancer can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned and if people are doing things that they think will raise money, and it's working then fair play. Even if the original motives are questionable. It's got everyone talking about it.

[supergreenuk]

Cancer is such a terrible terrible affliction on the human race. Our society is dealing with it in a light hearted way and the money raised it amazing so although I sympathise with how you feel many will be grateful that this injection of money is being received. Everyone knows someone who has or is suffering.
It's nothing new to bring a light heart to fundraising. Just look at calendar Girls.

[Garcia10]

I don't need to be reminded of cancer. My cousin died of lung cancer when he was 18. My sister survived breast cancer at 38. I really don't need to see lots of women thinking they are helping the cause by not wearing make-up. Just donate every month like I do to a cancer charity. To me it is just attention seekers wanting even more attention.

Great that £2 million has been raised but if people were more self aware they could have given the money anyway. Also as someone involved in the drug research industry don't give it to CRUK because as far as I am (and many in the industry are) concerned it is wasted money.

[ScarletLady02]

I do agree Kim147

I remember when my Dad had a stroke and he felt his care was woefully inadequate. He was in his early 50s so quite young for a stroke and he really felt that there was an attitude of cancer treatment was seen the fashionable thing to be involved in whereas stroke patients where very underfunded.

And he said this as a man with a wife going through cancer treatment.

I have a friend who is 26 and she is in hospital recovering from a stroke...I agree more needs to be done to raise awareness.

[KitKat1985]

I guess my point in reference to supergreenuk is that there's a line between 'light-hearted' (and I like to think I do have a sense of humour, and certainly don't expect every fundraising campaign to be depressingly serious) and 'tasteless and insensitive', which is where I think a lot of the more recent campaigns have gone a bit wrong.

[winkbingo]

Am willing to be flamed, but I always get frustrated with the 'battling' aspect.

Like anyone can choose to fight hard, harder, hardest.

You can't fight cancer by sheer strength of will.

All the 'Cancer, we're coming to get you'makes me feel like it's a marketing exercise.

So sorry if any inadvertent offence, none intended.

[MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe]

Agree with those posters talking about lack of awareness for (for want of a better phrase) 'less glamorous' cancers - not that any cancer is glamorous, but I've seen that phrase used to describe them and it made me . Bowel cancer and prostate cancer just to name a couple.

And also for other illnesses. A friend posted a selfie tonight saying she was doing hers for illnesses that people aren't already so aware of - she shared the links to Mind, Rethink, Young Minds and a Multiple Sclerosis charity. She's been slated for not doing it for cancer research.

[ExcuseTypos]

Only 20 years ago people visibly recoiled if anyone even mentioned the word Cancer.
People do talk about cancer nowadays and I do think a lot of that is due to the campaigns being "everywhere"

[ScarletLady02]

I totally understand where you're coming from kim147

FWIW my Mum was never that cool with the whole "battle" thing either. There's something to be said about mind over matter and how strong the positive human brain can be, but there's only so much a "positive frame of mind" can do

[KitKat1985]

I agree that there are other 'less attractive' causes which don't get enough attention. I actually work as a nurse in a dementia unit so am well aware what a devastating effect this has too. I guess though it seems to be cancer for some reason which is attracting these 'tasteless' fundraising campaigns, which is why it's the only illness I've referred to. Frankly, there's hardly any campaigning or awareness for other illnesses, which I 100% agree is wrong.

Interestingly the cancer my Dad has is multiple myeloma. Hardly anyone has even heard of it, but I can barely move sometimes for 'breast awareness' campaigns. For some reason some cancers seem to attract a hell of a lot more publicity and 'awareness' than others.

[winkbingo]

I used to work in an office (media) where we were encouraged to give to just one cancer charity.All our clients, who used to give to charities close to their hearts stopped that and gave to my ex-company one instead - they thought it would stand them in good stead. (media coverage)

It did, it got them media coverage.

And their previous charities got no coverage at all and none of the money that would have been previously raised.

I still don't know what to make of it all.

[ScarletLady02]

Sorry to hear about your family members kim147

My mum was first diagnosed in 1990, they gave her 5 years, she died last year after fighting and fighting...she was eventually diagnosed with brain mets, so the cancer that got her wasn't breast, but that's where it started.