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Aibu - stupid argument with DH!

(47 Posts)
iloveironing Fri 21-Mar-14 20:54:25

Ok, so all of this is going to sound very immature

We were due to go away to visit PIL this weekend. I was looking forward to it and took a half day to go home and get ready. Went home, packed up, cleaned the house and gave DS's baths & dinners so we were all ready to go

DH came home and started packing. He picked up his favourite jumper and realised it had been shrunk a lot in the wash. He had put in the laundry basket and I washed it at the correct temperature so I'm not sure how it happened. I didn't notice what happened and ironed it and hung it up. DH looked angry and said 'what happened to my jumper?!' He gave me an angry look. He was im

I defended myself and said I wasn't going any further until he said sorry. He refused

Meanwhile DS2 was having a massive tantrum downstairs screaming 'mummy mummy mummy daddy daddy daddy'.

I refused to continue getting ready because he hasn't said sorry. DH drove off to PILs with DS1

He came back after 20 mins and sent a mean text to say he was outside and to get out to the car. I refused to move because of the tone of text

He drove off again. Then he came back. I said lets both say sorry as in I was to say sorry for being in a strop and him to say sorry for refusing to apologise. Again he refused and got really angry.

He's normally a lovely person but he's in a right rage now. He says himself and DS1 will go to PIL's tomorrow and I can stay here.

Was I wrong to insist on an apology? If I'd brushed it off we could have gone off to visit PIL and if we'd discussed it later on he may have acknowledged he was wrong. Instead what happened was there was a stand off for 3 hours which resulted in us going nowhere :-(

NoIamAngelaHernandez Fri 21-Mar-14 20:55:39

You both acted like children.

Twighlightsparkle Fri 21-Mar-14 20:56:50

He's being a spoilt brat.

Stand your ground. He needs to apologise, is there more background stuff, seems such a silly thing for him to get so worked up about.

petmyunicorn Fri 21-Mar-14 20:57:18

Surely asking what happened to his jumper is a reasonable question?

Beamur Fri 21-Mar-14 20:58:18

Actually my child is more mature than that! grin
What a daft pair. Do your arguments always ratchet up this quickly?

ITCouldBeWorse Fri 21-Mar-14 20:59:09

All sounds pathetic behaviour on his part.

Driving whilst so angry reprehensible.

He needs to behave in adult fashion.

Favourite jumper spoiled, you might curse and be annoyed, but not act like complete dick.

HadABadDay2014 Fri 21-Mar-14 21:00:16

I feel sorry for your PIL.

Did you stop and think about their feelings, the extra shopping and sorting out sleep arrangements ect when refusing to go.

DIYapprentice Fri 21-Mar-14 21:00:17

Oh, these fights. I hate them, and DH and I get caught up with them.

You're right, and you're wrong. The problem is you won't know until well after the argument is over!

Is he normally like this though? Getting all huffy over things like this?

Re jumper - I've noticed that with a few of DH's jumpers, they've shrunk even when washed at the right temperature. I suspect that unless it's a proper wool cycle the water temperature is really an estimate.

I've given up now and have to wash them by hand which is a PITA.

littlebluedog12 Fri 21-Mar-14 21:01:23

So I take it he is still there? If so I imagine that both of you will cool down by the morning and be in a better mood to apologise to each other.

puntasticusername Fri 21-Mar-14 21:01:31

Is there a chunk of text missing from the end of your third para? About the initial discussion re what happened to the jumper? Otherwise, your reaction seems a little ott.

NurseyWursey Fri 21-Mar-14 21:02:35

You both sound childish.

but not act like complete dick
I can't see how he acted like that though, all we can see is that he asked what happened to his jumper and gave an angry look.

phantomnamechanger Fri 21-Mar-14 21:05:07

how long have you been married?
how long do you want to stay married?

you BOTH need to grow up!

HicDraconis Fri 21-Mar-14 21:06:52

All this over an item of clothing! Good grief, how are you going to handle things if something serious happens?

DH does our laundry. He ruined one of my dresses but didn't realise and put it away. I went to put it on - asked what the hell had happened to it. Got the reply "no idea, washed it according to label. Never mind, we'll go out next weekend and buy another one". No dramas, no tantrums, no driving off in a sulk, no refusing to talk to someone until they've said sorry. He didn't insist I apologise for asking what had happened to my dress, I didn't insist he apologise for ruining it.

Some people need to grow up before having children of their own!

Justcockthesockoff Fri 21-Mar-14 21:07:29

confused how old are you both ?

PesoPenguin Fri 21-Mar-14 21:07:42

From what you've said I think you were a little ott, unless he actually said more than you've posted. Asking what happened to his jumper isn't really unreasonae.

PatriciaHolm Fri 21-Mar-14 21:07:44

is this kind of tit for tat normal? You do both sound about 12, but is it a dynamic you regularly fall into?

Your OP appears to be missing some words as well, which may well be important….

LaurieFairyCake Fri 21-Mar-14 21:09:30

I don't get it

Where's the rest of the paragraph? Did you explain?

He had every reason to be annoyed?

What does he have to apologise for?

MollyHooper Fri 21-Mar-14 21:11:42

DH looked angry and said 'what happened to my jumper?!' He gave me an angry look. He was im ...?

Is something left out?

ICanSeeTheSun Fri 21-Mar-14 21:14:00

FYI my responce if DH dared complain about anything household related as he does nothing apart from the cooker, which he will pay to be done ( we split money 50/50 after everything is paid for) I would just stop washing for him.

Forgettable Fri 21-Mar-14 21:14:08

You iron sweaters/jumpers?

<misses the point>

Guitargirl Fri 21-Mar-14 21:14:17

Is there some vital info missing from your post?

If not then you are both being absolutely ridiculous. What excuse have you given your poor PILs and your DCs who must have been wondering wtf was going on?

softlysoftly Fri 21-Mar-14 21:20:03

You are both being idiots and to be honest DEMANDING an apology from an adult is wrong imho. All you do is back him into a corner would I bollocks apologise on demand even if I realised I'd been a wally.

Did you really demand and throw a huff just because of an "angry look" which actually might not have been an "angry look"?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Fri 21-Mar-14 21:22:17

Fuxache, you're upsetting your children and PILs, sending snippy texts and huffing for England over a garment?

They sell them in shops you know. Buy another and get a grip.

Fairenuff Fri 21-Mar-14 21:23:11

OP could you please clarify what was it that he had to say sorry for? Giving an angry look? confused

cees Fri 21-Mar-14 21:23:36

Absolutely everyone has had one or more of these unreasonable rows with their other half at some time or other.

If someone says otherwise then they are full of shit. It's the tone, expression and manner in how it all evolves to become the most ridiculous row ever. It's complete madness but that's life.

Let him cool off and come to his senses then have another chat but you have to be calm too, no matter how much you feel like shredding the rest of his jumpers [big grin]

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