Was married 13 years
Earned same as dh for first couple of years then I had dc. One ended up needing a lot of hospital treatment. Dh refused to cut down his hours to help so I ended up having to quit my job to take care of dc. Stayed at home for around 5ish years till youngest in school. Admittedly in this time dh paid the mortgage but I lived off the savings I made when I was working while dh's salary paid the house bills (I paid for food, clothes, baby stuff etc out of savings).
Went back to same profession. Earned under what dh was earning. Started paying most of the bills plus all the childcare plus a portion of the mortgage and agreed that what I saved would go towards renovating the house.
A year before we broke up, I got a massive promotion and started out earning him. I paid off the rest of the mortgage (half the original mortgage) plus had paid the renovations for the house.
Dh never pulled his weight at home. Even though I was working full time I was still doing all the stuff with the kids at home, all the cooking, all the washing and in the end, I just realised there was nothing left to our relationship.
Going through a divorce and even though he contributed the sum total of fuck all help with the kids, and all he really contributed with the house was 5 years of paying the mortgage, he is now entitled to half the house plus potentially a maintenance amount from me because I earn more than he does. I mean fgs.
Someone said to me men have suffered this for years but what they alluded to was a SAHM but they contribute by bringing up the kids! Dh contributed so little...
I know I have to get on with it but finding it psychologically hard to get past the feeling that I have worked so so hard and am getting so much taken away :(
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To think I am going to get done over in a divorce because I worked so hard and did everything or should I just stfu and get on with it
19 replies
StickMe · 21/03/2014 20:01
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