Quick! I might be bU

[MichaelFinnigan]

And Im sure you'll all tell me if I am

Re: annual leave at work

At the start of the academic year I supplied my manager with a list of the dates either I or DH would need off during the school holidays- two days of each week of holiday only. I was flexible and said DH and I would split them between us so any that didnt suit he would take off rather than me.

Each of the two days for each of the first week of each school holiday were authorised and the first two weeks of the long summer break. It was mentioned that she wanted to take two or three weeks, but didn't explicitly specify when these would be

FFW to now, DH and I want to go away towards the end of the summer holiday.

I have requested a thurs, fri and monday off. Manager has responded that she wanted those days off.

I had checked her calendar, there was nothing in for those dates though I accept they are within 'her week' to have off

Other pertinent info:

We are a department of two within a larger organisation
Our department is very very quiet; it is very unusual for an immediate response to be required for anything
In seven years I have accommodated her holiday needs, fitting mine around hers and always being flexible.
I rarely take time off
I have two small DC
She has an older DC and a SAHH
(not sure if that's relevant but y'know)

So MN i am being unreasonable to insist upon having off the only three days of the year that i absolutely definitely want and cannot be flexible about and suggesting leaving our department unattended for three days?

[saidnooneever]

You booked your time off at the start of the school holidays, why can't you go away then?

[Catnuzzle]

If hers wasn't already booked then you should get it. First come first served.

[whitepuddingsupper]

When you say she has an older DC are they still school age, because if so then she will be wanting to go away in the school holidays too. I don't think you can insist on taking holidays someone else also wants and closing the department for those days.

[MichaelFinnigan]

It's a festival so can only go to it those three days

She hadn't booked the days off, I knew she was taking a few weeks but they could have been any two or three out of four

I might be being u I know.

[fairylightsintheloft]

hmm I think its a festival then obviously it HAS to be those dates for her. You could get all official about it and say they're not pre-booked etc so you're having them but you have to work with this woman so I would accomodate her if at all possible.

[PorkPieandPickle]

Hmm. If she accommodated all the dates you wanted in school holidays without moaning she might not have booked it just because you said those were what you wanted in the school holidays and she thought she could have the rest... I do think you are being a bit unreasonable... But if you explain about the festival and offer to swap one of your earlier weeks so she can have time off with her kids?

[DoJo]

Could you not discuss it with her and come to an agreement rather than 'insisting'? And why do you 'rarely take time off'? Do you not normally use your annual leave? Is it just because she's your manager that you have been deferring to her for the last seven years in terms of priority for holidays? It sounds as though you think you've been doing her a favour, but she sees it as her right to book her holiday in precedence to yours.

[Logg1e]

I don't understand, she's accommodated all of the requests you made? You wanting two days per holiday week might mean that she never gets a week off, which might be her preference.

[BackforGood]

I can't see why it's an issue with you both being off for 3 days at the end of August. Unlikely it's going to be busy(I'm assuming you are in a University), and, even if someone wanted something, it's only 3 days, so they can probably wait.

[MichaelFinnigan]

Well that's it backfirgood. Not a university but our processes are slooooow. We don't do quick fire responsive stuff

I provided a list of dates and asked her to authorize any that she didn't want off. Dh can do the others so ball totally in her court as to which she'd prefer to keep open in case she wanted off. I haven't got two days of each holiday week off, more two days of one week then she can have the other if that makes sense

I rarely take leave as most of it has to be used up for school holidays and we're skint so never go on holiday. Not her problem but I'm not always taking off a week or long weekend.

We will discuss it but really the only options are either we don't go, she changes her weeks, as far as I know she's not got anything booked. Or we both go and no one is in the office for three days. Obvs she'll want option one. I want option 2 or 3. There isn't a solution that'll suit is both

[Logg1e]

Ok, I'm starting to understand. I'm another who doesn't see how you "rarely" take leave.

I think if you're having the first two weeks of the holiday off, you are being a bit unreasonable to expect first dibs on three other days.

[MichaelFinnigan]

I didn't request the first two weeks off. I asked that I have the Monday and Tuesday of any of the weeks of school holiday that suited her. Any others dh can have off so no pressure on which weeks

Bear in mind this was back in September for the entire year

So in the spirit of fairness and simplicity she said right you have the Monday and tues if the first half of each holiday period and the second half of each holiday period we'll keep clear in case I want off. That's fine. I'm happy with that. It makes sense. Until a holiday period occurs where actually it doesn't suit me to take my days during the first half. I'd prefer to take them in the second half.

It being still being months in the future, I ask that rather than having my leave all at the start of the summer holiday I can take three days later later in the holiday. During a week kept clear in case she wanted to take it off

I checked her calendar. Nothing was marked on it for those days I want off although I did know that at sone point she did want time off

[Logg1e]

Sorry, for some reason I thought you'd booked off the first two weeks of the summer holiday, not the first two days.

[Joysmum]

So in the spirit of fairness and simplicity she said right you have the Monday and tues if the first half of each holiday period and the second half of each holiday period we'll keep clear in case I want off. That's fine.

Ok so then having reached this agreement, you then want to go against that agreement and are surprised it's not ok?

I too fail to see how you are rarely having time off given the amount if time off you've got booked already?

[MichaelFinnigan]

Yes, I want to alter the arrangemt made sux mago and with give months notice

[CwtchesAndCuddles]

I think you are being unreasonable and are very lucky to be able to take your leave as you want it, many places I've worked leave needs to be booked in blocks especially during school holidays.

I think you should accept that you will not get the extra days you want.

[Joysmum]

In which case you've been told that this is a week she's intending to have off and just hasn't written it in the diary yet. In any case, that wouldn't have been a problem for her to take due to your existing agreement.

You are the one wanting to change the agreement, you can't because it doesn't suit her. Case solved.

If you've booked the festival without checking first then that's your lookout.

[MichaelFinnigan]

Yes I want to alter an arrangement made six months ago by giving five months noticed based on the absence of any indication that she wanted to do something that particular week

Mmmmm I may well be being unreasonable. I'm willing to accept that

I'll just have to hope I've found a new job by August

[JerseySpud]

I think you are being unreasonable.

She has already said yes to all your previous requests, she is allowed time off as well!

[WottaTheOdds]

Yes I want to alter an arrangement made six months ago by giving five months noticed based on the absence of any indication that she wanted to do something that particular week

But your boss told you six months ago that she was ring fencing the clear weeks for her own arrangements...she did not have to run them past you. The absence of indication was entirely in her gift and a very fair quid pro quo in view of how flexible she has been with you.

No-one is more 'up the workers' than I am, but sometimes it seems that employees expect flexibility to be entirely weighted in their favour.

she is allowed time off as well!

^^ THIS!!

Still you've already accepted that YABU so I will just mosey on out (until I feel moved to come back!)

[MichaelFinnigan]

Ok ok I agree

But... I've got four days of a six week period booked off. I not taking the piss nor being unreasonable in my demands for annual leave. I'm more flexible than most as we never actually go away on holiday and dh can cover any days i can't take so i have not once previously defined exactly which days i take as leave. I always leave it up to her to choose which she would prefer i took from a number of given options.

Just to set that straight.

[Logg1e]

If you're not requesting leave, and when you want it, and it's leading to resentment perhaps you need to be more specific in future?