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Mums who say they will invite you over and NEVER follow through with a date

(13 Posts)
ScoutFinchMockingbird Fri 21-Mar-14 09:51:22

DD's best friend's mother and I meet for lunch occasionally to chat, let the girls see each other socially outside nursery etc. I ALWAYS initiate these meetings and at first I thought she was just trying to blow me off by never organising anything herself. But surely if she didn't like me,she would find excuses not to come at all?!
She has recently had another child and promised to invite us over when baby arrived. I sent a present through her elder child and she has written to say thanks and would we like to come over this Fri. She knows DD and I usually are busy on a Fri. I said we'd love to come and weren't doing our normal activity as DD would be too tired and we are travelling later tonight. Still waiting for a response about times to visit this Fri am (today!) AIBU or does she actually just not like me?! (Paranoid mummy!)

Fantissue Fri 21-Mar-14 09:53:27

She has a brand new baby so I imagine she is busy and her mind is elsewhere. You are reading too much into it.

DeWe Fri 21-Mar-14 11:17:44

I do that, but it's because I lack confidence that people actually want to meet up with me.

And you may have mentioned that you usually are busy on a Friday but when things aren't you, most people don't tend to remember. I have enough to remember when I'm busy let alone when others are.

JuniperTisane Fri 21-Mar-14 11:22:34

I imagine its slipped her mind. She could be feeling frazzled and down and If I were the mum I would probably appreciate another text asking if it was still a good day to come and I would have something to look forward to.

alwaysneedaholiday Fri 21-Mar-14 11:23:48

Firstly, she's just had a baby - she may have had a bad couple of nights etc..

Secondly, there are those who like to organise and those who like to be organised! I am rubbish at organising coffees/lunches/nights out, but I do love to attend them. The only time I bother is if one of my friends is worse than me.

Don't worry about it - unless she starts to make excuses not to meet you.

Comeatmefam Fri 21-Mar-14 11:28:42

Sorry to sound cranky but these kind of posts drive me nuts they really do.

She's just had a baby so is a bit busy (!) OR

She's just not that into you OR

She really likes you but has tons of other friends OR

She really likes you but not enough to spend much time with you OR

She is a bit disorganised and doesn't get round to asking you OR

She is a bit shy and prefers you to make the arrangements OR

So what?? For God's sake why do grown women worry themselves like this over acquaintences! If it annoys you, stop making the arrangements!

Sillylass79 Fri 21-Mar-14 11:30:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OpalQuartz Fri 21-Mar-14 11:32:38

Do you not invite people back Comeatme?

OpalQuartz Fri 21-Mar-14 11:32:52

grin wink

Comeatmefam Fri 21-Mar-14 11:35:39

Yes I'm inclined to go with that one too Sillylass as per my number 2 option above!!!

Not everyone will like you enough to spend their time with you.

I used to have coffee on the same day every week with a mum who over time I realised I didn't really like at al! I started to make excuses not to go and eventually it fizzled out.

Comeatmefam Fri 21-Mar-14 11:37:31

Yes if I like them Opal and want to spend time with them! If not I will just chat and be friendly but not forge an actual friendship with them. Why would anyone be coerced into a friendship they don't actually want! Time's precious for all of us isn't it, I have lots of friends and family...

ScoutFinchMockingbird Fri 21-Mar-14 11:46:50

Gosh. Ok. I doubt she has forgotten as she only asked us yesterday. Will stop making an effort. As you say, there are lots of other friends etc.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 21-Mar-14 11:53:15

I think you've both got yourselves a bit tangled up with the arrangements. Sending a note yesterday saying 'come over on Friday', might mean next week, or she would have put 'come over tomorrow'.

Give her a ring and ask if you've messed up. She might have been sitting in waiting for you, or she might think you're coming next week.

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