We are planning a christening for our new baby. DP wants to do it as he's " a traditionalist" - he's also an atheist. Although he does sometimes go to our local church and sometimes even enjoys it - the sermons, the community. I am not committed enough to be an atheist, I can't bring myself to say there is no God, as I don't know. But I don't believe in it in a 'literal' sense. I go to our local church 1-2 times a month, sometimes less, sometimes more. I've been going more since I had children ( no not just for schools!) I enjoy the services, the sense of community, the time out from the general chaos of life. Gives me a chance to slow down and think about life and how I behave etc. I like the vicar, he knows my name. I realise that if I was born somewhere else or to other parents I could just as easily be going to a synagogue, a temple or a mosque. I don't think Christianity is necessarily the 'right religion' any more than the others. But 'church' is so much more than having to have a literal 100% belief in something that was probably a manmade constuct.
Anyway..... really want to do something special for new baby and christening seems obvious choice. We are regulars at the church so why not? I'm being a bit of a hypocrite if I take the vows absolutely literally but I don't feel I'm disrespecting the church or anyone's faith because I have a big love of the church, particularly our one... I"m just not exactly a Christian. The thing is most of my friends are staunch atheists and christenings don't seem as common anymore ie they are not just 'the done thing'. I'm not sure how to explain why we are doing it to my friends.. it's not like I can say " Because I believe all this stuff and I"m a Christian".
Have looked into Thanksgiving service or Naming Ceremony but they have been dismissed for various reasons. I don't want to abandon idea altogether - can't I just have one out of tradition? Or is that really bad? Am I right to be embarrassed?
Sorry for ramble... I"m tying myself up in knots about this.
AIBU?
to be a bit embarrassed about having a christening?
biggerquestions · 20/03/2014 23:20
YANBU - I absolutely did not want my children baptised as Christians because I felt they should choose when they were old enough to go with whatever (or not) religion that they felt drawn to.
However acute depression (mine) and an overbearing MIL lead to them being baptised at 5 years old. I'm still fuming about it now 
Will the real random please stand up 
Thanks BQ depression is under control, AD's are just about weaned off and all is good (and my' babies' are currently mulling over college courses)
Re your comment about them not necessarily being Christian even though they have been baptised as such - I am not a religious person and assumed that 'that was it' as far as my daughters were concerned.
I know as adults they can follow whichever path they choose but it still rankles that my thoughts/beliefs were trampled over and they now have a specific religious stamp IYSWIM
Well it meant a lot to me so much that I was totally opposed to it but anyway - I was over-ruled, MIL has her nice huge portrait on the wall of her three grand daughters being christened at the same time so all is well 
It sounds to me as if you're an agnostic, with liberal Christian or multi-faith leanings! I think even if there's the possibility of something there in your mind, then that's enough. "Faith the size of a mustard seed" and all that. Personally I'd say a staunch, cynical atheist shouldn't go for a church Christening, because it makes a mockery of it all and they'd be making empty promises. I'm also not one for tradition alone as a reason for going through religious ceremonies. But as you're genuinely open to exploring church and faith then that sounds a good reason to go ahead with the christening 
I'm Salvation Army. We dedicate our children to God. If you want to christen/baptise/dedicate your child then do it. It won't break the baby or you guys xx. The church won't fall down either and no one will be offended.
Panthers- Imho,it would be hypocritical of the atheist parent to promise, before the God they don't believe in, that they would raise the child Christian when they have no intention of doing so. It would NOT be hypocritical of the Christian parent to have the child christened if they sincerely intend to raise that child as a Christian. Then I guess the parents would have to 'duke it out' afterwards . As medieval as it probably sounds, it's why I would never have married a person of a different faith. Protestant, Catholic, that I could have dealt with. But it was important to me that my children be raised as Christians.
bigger- I salute you. I agree that children should know and understand about different faiths. I made sure my own children knew and respected others of different (or no) faiths. Infant baptism = circumcision (technically the Jewish 'bris') refers, I believe, to the fact that the child is being received into the faith, but before they are old enough to know what that means. Which is why later the child has a bar/bat mitzvah or confirmation when they are old enough to understand and agree with what being a member of their faith entails.
Non-believers making promises on behalf of their children to a God they don't believe exists. I just don't get it 
Non- believers using the Church as a means to an end e.g. getting dc into preferred school. It may be legal but, IMO morally so, so wrong.
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