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To be slightly annoyed at HV or DD.

(89 Posts)
TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 18:53:48

Had my DDs 2.5 yr check up today. I'm certain (as is childminder) that her speech and understanding is good. Better than my friends kids and I mean that in a totally unbiased way, I promise and better than 'the books' say she should be. 2 childminders have assessed her at better than her age.

As soon as she walks in to HV room, she gets hugely excited about the toys and exciting items and says 'mummy, lots of either babbles or slurred words' and instantly HV says 'her speech is very delayed isn't it' so I use the animal books to tease words out of her and she basically speaks like a twat the whole time we are in there. The HV is a little concerned and will be in touch in three months to see how she is doing.

Before we went in I said.'youve got chocolate milk all over your face' to which she said, clear as day 'no mummy, I not got choc-late milk all over my face, I got choc-lote milk all over my mouff' I was pleased as punch. HV looked like she didn't believe me. I tried everything to get her to speak properly but as soon as we walked out and I put her coat on she said 'here mummy, hold my milk'

AIBU to think kids do it on purpose?

AIBU to think HV should believe me and not say DD is behind and delayed?

I think I am BU regarding HV as that's her job but it hurt confused

tiggytape Thu 20-Mar-14 19:00:00

AIBU to think kids do it on purpose?

YANBU. They can totally sense that this is their moment to perform. All eyes are on them. Mummy is tense and pleading. What better time to be playful and cute instead?
It is on a par with sitting up casualty for 4 hours on a Saturday night when they have an ankle so painful that even a current of air can cause them to howl and sob in agony. By the time you get to see the Dr they are cheerfully performing ninja kicks and pointing at the wrong ankle!

AIBU to think HV should believe me and not say DD is behind and delayed?

YABabitU. Parents aren't always the best judge. They are so tuned into their child's speech patterns that they can normally understand a child even if the child has very delayed or disordered speech. Many people whose children have a genuine delay either do not realise or will not accept it. Intervention as soon as possible is best for children who need it so they have to be sure they don't miss anyone.

LadyintheRadiator Thu 20-Mar-14 19:04:52

"Speaks like a twat"? Is that what you think of children with poor speech?

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:04:55

I've spent ever since listening intently to every word she says. I simply can't be sure. My MIL is HV and she's never said. I'd have thought she would say something and not be nervous to offend me. I'd have hoped.

I understand some people don't/won't accept these things as I have seen someone do this. I don't think I'm thy person tho. So much doubt...

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:06:42

No lady, I mean she's the t word for speaking so badly at the one time I could do with her shining wink obviously DD is not and never would be an actual twat. Nor is anyone with a speech impediment. grin

tiggytape Thu 20-Mar-14 19:08:13

I'm not saying DD has a speech problem at all. The HV can only base her comments on what she sees. If DD talked poorly on purpose you would notice this but the HV might think this is how she normally speaks and that you're just in denial to say otherwise.

Why not record DD on your phone in case she does the same next time and then the HV can give you an opinion based on how DD actually speaks?

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Thu 20-Mar-14 19:08:23

Yanbu.

They should take into account that this is a situation which is unusual, not a reflection of how a child normally speaks.

Ds2 was asked to identify a cup from a picture at his two up year assessment. HV asked what Mummy drinks, to which he replied 'Water, in Mummy's bag.' Thus was because we had gotten a bottle of water to drink on the day. He refused to say cup even though he knew fine well what it was.

I think they should get extra points for playing Mum like a cello grin

Minshu Thu 20-Mar-14 19:11:12

My daughter no longer knew of the colour yellow, and lost the ability to stand on one leg when the hv came for the pre school check just after her 4th birthday confused

hippo123 Thu 20-Mar-14 19:12:54

Loads of kids get 'recalled' ie asked to see again in a few months time. It's nothing personal, kids aren't performing monkeys. They have good and bad days like everyone else. Your Hv is just doing her job and it's a good thing that she's keeping an eye on the situation. I really wouldn't worry about it or be offended.

crispyporkbelly Thu 20-Mar-14 19:13:03

SPEAKS LIKE A TWAT?!!

Are you kidding me? Is that how you talk about your daughter? You need to check yourself, fast.

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:13:50

I'm not ott I promise but I took DDs learning journal which I received a few days before to show her, I was told she'd be interested, I got it out and said 'look, this is what she can do' I instantly felt like I was one of those parents in denial. Trying to prove a point that just wasn't there.

I'm so glad you've all had similar experiences. Each one makes me feel so much better! grin

HumphreyCobbler Thu 20-Mar-14 19:14:35

I was once pouring my heart out to the HV and saying how tired and stressed I was that 5 month DS only ever fell asleep on the breast. She looked at me a bit funny and I realised that he had fallen asleep on my lap whilst I was talking to her blush

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:15:42

Crispy, I feel you are more offended by the word twat than me. Which is perfectly fine and normal. I don't mean it as bad as it sounds. I promise. As I said she definitely isn't that! She's perfect. grin

BitsinTatters Thu 20-Mar-14 19:16:14

Speaks like a twat. Charming.

crispyporkbelly Thu 20-Mar-14 19:18:04

I'm sorry, I can't get over that. Twat is the same as cunt to me, a slang swear word to describe female genetalia.

Maybe find a different word to describe your baby.

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:18:44

Twit...

Pumpkinpositive Thu 20-Mar-14 19:19:09

You have a really unfortunate turn of phrase, OP.

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 20-Mar-14 19:21:15

But then twit implies she's stupid. There is no word that be 'correct' on all fronts. I simply can't think of one. hmm

toomuchtooold Thu 20-Mar-14 19:22:38

Ha! I took mine for their 2y checkup at 21 months and they refused to do, like, half the stuff she was asking even though they do them all the time in the house. As they were a bit young though I think they did enough not to warrant further intervention so it doesn't make much odds for us either way. (Anyway it was the HV I don't like, who wrote "artificial feeding" on their red books (meaning FF) and mixed their weights up at 6 weeks (they're twins) and then told me DT2's weight was a concern because she was losing weight when actually the daft bint had just looked at her sister's weight! So I'm glad they didn't perform for her...)

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 20-Mar-14 19:23:04

A foreign friend who was bringing up her DS to speak both English and her native tongue knew he was capable of counting in both languages, reciting his name and address, colours, identifying parts of the body etc. When they went along for a check she said it was like the HV spoke to DS in Russian for all the response he made. No matter what was asked of him he either got silly and showed off or clammed up, staring at HV.

As soon as they got outside he asked her very earnestly and fluently about the lady's large and colourful earrings, she could have cried.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 20-Mar-14 19:23:48

Toddlers are not performing seals, they don't always do what you want them to do. I feel so much is expected so young. Dd 7 paedritrician told me that a lot of development takes place between 3-5 years.

scantilymad Thu 20-Mar-14 19:24:37

OP would you mind it if anyone other than you told you "your daughter is speaking like a twat"?!

It might just be a turn of phrase but it's a particularly unpleasant thing to say about anyone IMO, let alone your own child.

SpinningFates Thu 20-Mar-14 19:24:40

Why do you care what the HV thinks? I understand that engaging with them is purely voluntary.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 20-Mar-14 19:26:19

Hence they were waiting until she was a bit older before dx. Dd was dx with ASD at 6years.

Xfirefly Thu 20-Mar-14 19:26:37

trust MNetters to jump on the twat comment. she was making a joke? well that's how I took it anyway.

OP, my friend had the exact same thing. HV was trying to get her to go to a speech therapist. when HV saw her again in 2 weeks friends DD spoke like she normally did and she was actually ahead a year speech wise smile.

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